It's Complicated
by TStabler
Summary: Their relationship has always been undefined. More than partners. More than friends. More than family. There was no word for it. When she comes home from a long, hard case to see everything has changed, she finds the word. Complicated. E/O Future M
1. Alienation

**A/N: A new one. Hope you enjoy it. **

_**Alienation**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters are owned by Dick Wolf. Story belongs to TStabler©**

_Do you see him?_

The question was loud in her ear, there was a squeal of feedback that almost made her curse loudly, but she was too professional, too used to this by now to react. She simply ran a hand through her hair, bringing her bracelet up to her mouth. "Not yet," she whispered, the bug in the jewelry relaying her message to the waiting man in the car outside.

_Keep waiting. Keep looking._

She nodded and sighed, scanning the bar. The badge at her hip dug into the tender flesh of her freshly tattooed skin. It was uncomfortable, she shifted to get it to move. She tugged at her pants, her gun and holster sliding over an inch as she moved. She grabbed the barrel and moved it back. Everything had a place, according to her.

She looked around again as she relaxed on the bar stool. She sighed wondering why this assignment had been given to her and not him. Why she had to be the one to spend seven months in a different state, in a different precinct, to trap a fellow cop. Her "new partner" was a vicious criminal, a rapist, a murderer, and a pimp on top of it.

The girls he was controlling, selling, using, were all between the ages of twelve and eighteen, and the NYPD believed she was the only one who could infiltrate his little circle and bring him to his knees.

She didn't agree. She fought like hell to get out of it. She only caved when they told her her job was on the line, she had to take the case to save her career. So off she went to Boston, to bring him in by herself.

She took a swig of the light beer in her hands as she scoffed, remembering the night she left Manhattan. Remembering the look in her partner's eyes as she said goodbye to him, remembering the look in his eyes when she told him she knew she might not be coming back.

She remembered his words_. "If he finds out who you are, what you're doing, he'll kill you,"_ he said, fear in his voice and terror in his eyes. _"I'm not gonna be there, Liv. For the first time, I'm not gonna be there to save..."_

She squeezed her eyes shut as she recalled how she'd interrupted him_. "You don't have to save me, El," _she had said._ "You just have to be here when I get back. If I get..."_

She took another long sip of her beer, shaking her head and laughing bitterly to herself as she played the next moment over again. As she heard him, loudly and clearly, in her mind. _"I can't let you do this," _he had told her. _"Not without...not without telling you...without showing you..."_ and then he went quiet. The air went stale. The tension in the space between them rose. And when he grabbed her and kissed her, the world slipped away.

She shook her head, bringing her focus back to the present, and looked around the bar again. She wondered where this asshole was, why he hadn't shown up yet. She finished off the bottle of pale ale she held, and she sighed, thinking back to the last time she saw her partner. The last image of him she had was his naked form, watching her put her clothes back on, tears in his eyes. He refused to say goodbye, he refused to walk her out of the station and down to her taxi, he refused to look her in the eyes.

_"So that's it?" _she remembered asking him, her voice shaking.

_"Guess it is," _ he told her, looking at the wall, not her.

She tried to hide the hurt as she walked out of the bunkroom doors, slamming it as she left him, and everything she had worked for and cared about, behind.

He took the only piece of her he didn't already have that night, and he shattered it into a million little pieces. She hadn't heard from him since. She knew it was a big mistake, and he was dealing with the fact that he'd slept with his partner, cheated on his wife, betrayed every single one of his beliefs, but did that give him the right to fuck her and destroy her?

It was the most fulfilling sexual experience of her life, that much she knew. It was the most emotional and real moment she'd ever spent with a man, the deepest connection she'd ever allowed herself to have, which made his unwillingness to finish it on good terms hurt all the more.

"Fucking asshole," she spat, tossing her empty bottle into the bin at the edge of the bar.

"Hope you don't mean me," a voice behind her declared with a chuckle.

She turned. She should have been watching for him instead of thinking back to the moment she became the cold, heartless, cop she was now. "Not you," she said, faking a smile as her new partner, and target, sat on the stool behind her.

"Good," he said. "You wanted to meet me here, why?"

"You know why," she said, an air of seduction in her voice. She was playing him like a finely tuned acoustic guitar.

He licked his lips and shifted, moving toward her a bit. "How big of a part do you wanna play?" he asked, his shifty eyes boring into hers.

"I know a few girls," she said, leaning closer to him. "From back in New York. Runaways, delinquents, homeless teens. They need money, they need a place to stay. I can get them here, for you, for a price."

"How much?" the man asked, intrigued.

She looked at him, her eyes narrow and the smirk on her face vicious. "I want a cut. A big one." She gave her hair a small flip, licking her lips, and she moved even closer to him. "Twenty-five percent of everything you make off of them, and I want names of every one of their clients. If they're my girls, I wanna make sure they're not putting themselves in the hands of anyone danger..."

"Done," he said, not listening to her stipulations, not caring. "Now, uh, how about you and me go someplace a bit more private and, uh, close this deal, Benson?"

She chuckled. "Devlin," she said, "You know I have rules. I don't sleep with men I work with. Especially not my partners." The words stung as she said them, the lie piercing her heart.

Devlin, his name was, laughed. "Oh, Olivia, you know," he began, something menacing in his eyes. "You know you don't have choice here." He dropped his hand to her thigh, squeezing. "This is how deals are done in this business, you fucking know that." He moved his hand up her thigh, laughing when she slapped her hand over his and stopped him from moving it higher. "Fighter," he muttered, "I am gonna like that."

"You enjoy when your women fight you off," she hissed at him, her eyes narrowing. "You don't give a shit if they say no, if they cry..."

"It makes it so much sweeter," Devlin whispered, his face close to hers. "The victory." He moved closer, grazing the tip of his nose along her cheek. "This is going to happen, Olivia. You really don't have a fucking chance of getting out of this, or away from me."

"I think she does," came a cold, dark voice, from a man with a gun pointed at Devlin.

Devlin closed his eyes. "You bitch," he spat, smirking. "I should have known. Should have realized."

The man with the gun, the man who had been listening and waiting in the car, just laughed as Olivia stood up and slapped a pair of cuffs on Devlin. "She's good, isn't she?"

Devlin bit his lip. "Too good," he mumbled. "And I bet she would have been so fucking soft, tight. I bet she tastes like...ow! Watch it!"

"Sorry," Olivia said, not really sorry at all. She twisted his arm a bit too much. She squeezed the cuffs a little too tight. She read him his rights a little too fast, and she threw him into the arms of the man who'd been her savior. "Take him in, Parker." She took the bracelet off and shoved it in the pocket of Parker's jacket.

"You're not coming?" Parker asked, looking up at her, confused.

"I'll be down in a few," she said, walking toward the back of the bar. "I have a phone call to make."

Parker nodded, making sure he had a tight grip on Devlin, and he headed out to the waiting group of officers.

A sting op gone right, no problems, no hiccups. She took a deep, shaky breath as she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and slipped out the back door, into the alley of the grungy alehouse. She tried to stop shaking, she pushed the image of Devlin's crazy eyes out of her mind. She exhaled, through her nose, trying to get rid of the smell of his cologne and his breath.

She dialed fast and she raised the device to her ear. She bit her lip, waiting for an answer, absently trialing a finger over the angular line of her hip, over her tattoo. "Cap?" she asked, when the man on the other end picked up. "Wait, who is this?" she asked, confused. "Oh, well, uh, it's me, Olivia. I'm done here, so as soon as the paperwork is...okay, calm down, Munch. Stop laughing. It's...I'm glad you're happy, I just..." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "No, don't tell Elliot."

She waited another moment, listened to his perplexed question, and she said, "Because...he won't...look, he'll find out tomorrow when he comes in and I'm at my desk. Right? Tell Cassidy I owe him one for filling in for...yeah. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

She ended the call, letting out a long sigh as her eyes slid shut again. She wasn't sure what it was she'd be heading back to, but she knew she had to head back to it.

She shoved her phone in her pocket, then walked with her usual swagger toward the streetlamp-lit street. She shivered as she let the cold air around her finally send a chill down her back, her hot and strong demeanor fading as she relaxed into her off-duty loneliness.

She strode down the Boston street, her long, wavy locks bouncing with each step, and she looked up at the clear, night sky. Stars, which she rarely saw in New York, blinked back at her.

She would miss the calm, she would miss the numbness that the crisp, cold Massachusetts weather enabled her to have, she would miss the voluntary alienation she'd had for the last seven months.

She rested her hand on the door of her rental car, smiling in reminiscence, and thought of the maroon sedan with the coffee stains and ripped seats, dented fender, and broken radio. She shook her head as she thought about the man who usually drove that sedan.

She opened the door and got into the car. She turned the key and she leaned back with yet another sigh. Seven months gone. Seven months missed. What had changed? Did he even remember what happened the night she left? Was he still happily married? Did he have another child on the way? Why did any of it matter to her?

She pulled away from the curb, away from the bar, and drove off in the direction of the police station. She paid more attention to the city passing by, and she took in the sights of the things she'd never see again. In a few hours, she would be on a plane, heading back to New York. Back to her apartment. Back to the Sixteenth Precinct. Back to Elliot Stabler.

"Shit," she said with a self-loathing laugh. In a few hours, she thought, everything would change. Again.

**A/N: Yes? No? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	2. Infatuation

**A/N: **_**Infatuation**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to Tstabler©**

Olivia had been sitting in her chair behind her desk for close to three hours. After her long drive home, she went to her apartment, got changed, and got into bed. Then she quickly realized she was too nauseous to sleep, too nervous about seeing him again.

Every time she closed her eyes she would be taken back to the night she left, she would feel his hands on her, and in her. She would feel his lips teasing her skin, kissing her body. She would taste him on her tongue. She would curse under her breath.

She gave up trying to sleep and took a shower, cooler than she normally liked, and got dressed in the only suit she had that was clean. Laundry had been neglected for quite some time. She walked, at three in the morning, toward the Sixteenth precinct, toward what was once her home. Walking through the doors, she felt like she was dreaming.

Everything around her looked so familiar, but it seemed as though she was looking at it for the first time. She scanned the faces in the lobby, not recognizing anyone at all. She kept looking over her shoulder, some small part of her hoping to see him behind her, and finding no one there. Maybe she would be lucky and find that alienation followed her home.

She took the elevator up to the squad room, and she made a bee line for Cragen's office. She knew he wouldn't be there, but she scribbled something down on a slip of paper and shoved it under his door before taking off her blazer and settling in at her desk. She looked at the items scattered on its surface. Her pictures were still there, she figured it was because Cassidy loved looking at her. Her desk blotter had things scrawled on it, phone numbers, dates, even Cassidy's birthday had been written into the calendar.

She rolled her eyes and let out a harsh sigh, ripping the page up and crumpling it before tossing it in the bin. That month was long gone anyway. She flipped up the pages of the calendar, ripping off the time she'd missed, throwing it away. For the second time.

She leaned back and noticed her phone blinking and her computer beeping. She pushed buttons and discovered she had a thousand phone messages, a hundred and fifty e-mails, and she was stunned to find most of them from Elliot. Stunned to find most of them _blank_ and some of them with nothing but simple questions. "How are you?" was the most common. She deleted them, then sighed. What did that all mean?

She was done trying to figure it out, and she settled into her chair. For an hour and a half she sat, shaking and scared in her chair, waiting for him to come into the room. Waiting for him to see her for the first time in seven months. Waiting to see him.

She was on her seventh cup of coffee, which did little to calm her down, and she watched the door with wide eyes, anxious. Fin was the first to come in, and it took him a moment to realize that it was Olivia in the chair, not Cassidy.

"Hey, Baby-Girl!" he shouted, cheerfully pulling her into a hug. "God, you're a sight for sore eyes!"

"Thanks," she said, not sounding chipper at all, patting him lightly as he squeezed her. She just wanted him to let her go. It was entirely possible that the cold she'd been feeling for the last seven months had nothing to do with the weather in Boston.

He pulled away and cleared his throat, getting the message that she was not comfortable. "Well, uh, we all missed you around here." He gave her an odd look and backed up toward his desk. "Stabler's been out of his mind for the last few months."

Olivia scoffed, plopping back down into her chair. "Right," she said, sipping her coffee.

Munch walked in as soon as she put her mug down, carrying balloons and a teddy bear wearing an NYPD uniform. "There she is!" he yelled, walking toward her.

Olivia rolled her eyes and for the first time in months, allowed a smile to grace her lips. "What did you do?"

"Welcome home, Olivia," the aging man said, handing her the bundle of gifts and bending down to kiss her cheek. "Cragen sends his love. He is really sorry he can't be here to welcome you back."

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "About that," she said. "Where is he?"

The room went silent. Fin coughed and Munch cleared his throat. "Well, uh, he…he had a heart attack. Just a small…"

"What?" she yelped, standing suddenly. "And no one bothered to call me?"

Fin held up a hand, defensive. "We were told not to call you, not under any circumstances. Why do you think Elliot didn't…"

"How did you know he didn't call me?" she asked, folding her arms.

"Damn it," Fin spat, running a hand down his face. "Because he tried, okay? He picked up that phone a thousand times, then one of us would remind him he couldn't call you, and he'd get pissy and grumble about being an asshole."

Olivia bit her lip. He tried to call? That meant he was either trying to talk to her about something, or he wanted to tell her to forget about the night she left. "How is he?" she asked, sighing. "I mean…ya know. The kids? How's Kathy? How is…how is he?"

"Ask him yourself," Munch said, looking over Olivia's shoulder, toward the doorway.

Olivia saw Munch's blank expression, and then she turned around. She saw Elliot, standing in front of his desk, his eyes narrow and his lips pressed together.

He didn't know what to say, or do, he just knew that every thought he had was gone, he felt his heart pounding, and every muscle in his body chose that exact moment to contract and tighten. He wanted to kiss her, he wanted to yell at her, he wanted to throw her over his desk, he wanted to cry in her arms. Nothing happened, though. He froze.

She held his gaze, looking into his eyes, and she tried to smile. "Hi, El," she said, turning around to face him.

He let out a harsh breath and shook his head, turning on his heels and heading back out the doors.

The group inside the squad room jumped when they heard the loud bang, and Olivia knew it was Elliot punching the metal elevator door. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and she said, "Yeah, Fin. He really missed me."

* * *

><p>Her first day back wasn't what she'd hoped, but it was what she expected. Elliot had been impossible, slipping into his brooding ignorance, doing his job and nothing else. He didn't even ask her how the case in Boston went. Nothing unprofessional from him at all.<p>

She gave up trying, as soon as her shift was over, and stormed out of the squad room, wanting nothing more than to go home. She made it to her place, turned the key and opened the door, stepping into the foyer and slipping off her shoes. Her entire body ached, and she knew why. She rolled the kinks out of her neck, squeezing her left shoulder hard with her right hand.

She twisted and she heard and felt her back crack, she seethed and sighed as it happened. She straightened out and walked over to her kitchen counter. She forgot what she wanted the minute she got there, though, and dropped her head into her hands. "Shit," she mumbled, trying to shake it off.

"What the hell did I come back for?" she asked herself, pulling her black jacket off and throwing it over the back of her chair.

She was halfway to her bedroom when her door flew open, the knob hit the wall hard, starling her. She turned, her gun in her hands drawn and aimed, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Good reflexes," the man in her doorway said.

"What the hell, Elliot?" she snapped, lowering her gun.

He slammed the door closed, making the walls around the doorframe shake. He was furious. "Don't 'what the hell' me," he barked.

"I have been home for less than twelve hours and you're already pissed at me!" she yelled. "Get out! I'm really not in the mood for this!"

He chuckled, a dark sounding laugh. "You don't get to call the shots, here, Liv," he said, his voice menacing. He walked toward her, and when she moved to get away from him, he grabbed her arm and pulled her into him. "Do you have any idea what the hell you did to me?"

She looked into his eyes. She was visibly shaken, and for the first time in her life she was scared of him. "Let go of me," she said, her jaw clenched.

He shook his head and lowered his voice. "What the hell do you think I was trying to do?" He leaned closer to her, his face an inch away from hers now, and he tightened his grip on her. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, taking her in, and he said, "I can't let you go."

She pulled, but he tugged her right back, holding her firmly, and she yelped when he twisted his body and threw her into the wall behind her, and pressed into her. "Elliot, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"You shouldn't have left," he whispered, his pained eyes meeting hers. "You shouldn't have come back," he told her, his voice shaking now.

Her breath was speeding up, her heart was already pounding, and she closed her eyes. "I know that now," she said. "I'll leave in the…"

She wasn't given the chance to finish her thought. His lips were on hers, his tongue was probing its way into her mouth. Her body was on fire, responding to him fast. She felt him loosen his grip on her wrist and she moved her hands to behind his head.

He moaned, realizing she wasn't fighting him, and he pressed further into her. He rocked his hips, his hard length rubbed against her covered heat, and he nipped at her lips. His right hand skimmed down her body, pulling at her clothes roughly.

She knew it was wrong, she knew there was so much they needed to say before doing this again, but those thoughts lived at the back of her mind as her body began to control her. Her hands ran down his back, and before she knew it she was pulling his shirt out from his pants.

He backed up a bit and ripped the material over his head, leaving him bare-chested. He let out a soft growl and yanked on her shirt, sending buttons flying in all directions.

She gasped when he pulled down the cups of her bra and sucked one of her nipples into his mouth. "Shit," she spat, her nails digging into his back now.

He moaned as he licked, flicking his tongue over it, then sucked hard, then pulled his head back and blew lightly on it, chuckling as he did so.

She moaned when he began toying with the other one, pinching and rolling it, pulling on it, squeezing it, running the pad of his thumb over it. "Oh, my God, El," she whined, arching her back, only to realize he had her pinned against the wall and she couldn't move much.

He let a low groan escape as he slid his other hand down to the front of her pants, rubbing his palm over her, caressing her through the black cotton. He let her nipple go with a soft pop and he whispered, "I can feel you already. Hot. Wet. You want this."

"Never said I didn't," she moaned in return, her hips bucking into his hand. "I thought that you…"

He silenced her with another rough kiss as his hands worked harder, one pinching at her nipple and the other finagling its way into her pants, pushing her panties aside. He pushed one, thick finger into her without warning, catching her cry in his mouth.

She clawed at his back, knowing she was leaving marks, possible breaking skin. She tore her lips away from him, and breathing heavily she asked, "God, why, El?"

"Why?" he asked with a sinister chuckle. "That's fucking obvious, isn't it?" He pushed another finger into her depths, twisting both of his digits inside of her, watching her squirm and listening to her moan. "I told you. Before you left me."

She shook her head and her body was overtaken by him, guided by his manipulations. "You didn't mean it…you thought I was gonna die, El."

"I fucking meant it," he said, shoving his pants down with the hand that used to be attached to her nipple. He freed himself from his pants, then yanked hers completely off of her hips. He looked down, and he licked his lips as he watched his fingers pumping into and out of her, they glistened with her juices. "I meant it. I mean it."

She shivered as she felt his thumb work over her clit, and she groaned as she sensed her orgasm rising.

"Nice tattoo," he said, smirking, moving his fingers deeper and faster. "You missed me, huh?"

She nodded, then moaned, rolling her head to the side and squeezing her eyes shut. She felt him pull his fingers away, and for a moment she thought he'd leave, she thought he'd gotten what he came for now that he ripped an intense release from her.

"I missed you, too," he said, garnering her attention, and he sucked his fingers slowly into his mouth, making the most erotic and satisfied noise Olivia had ever heard, which almost made her cum again. "A lot."

Her head popped up and she looked at him, watching him move closer, her body throbbing as she felt him snake and settle between her legs. "El?"

For the first time since she came home, he looked into her eyes and smiled at her. "I told you, you shouldn't have come back." He pushed into her slowly, his eyes focused on hers, and they let out simultaneous moans. "You have no idea what you've done."

"What did I do?" she asked, chuckling when he pulled her right leg up and around his body and began thrusting.

"You've ruined everything," he said, kissing her neck. He ran his hand over her leg, up and down, caressing gently to contrast his almost violent possession of her. "We have ruined everything. But, God, I don't fucking care, baby," he mumbled, his mouth finally resting over hers again.

She let him take her, gave into him, forgot all about the seriousness of their actions, the consequences they might have to face, and the fact that she may or may not be enabling him to cheat on his wife. Did he even still have a wife? She had so many questions for him, but she had caved, giving herself over to the one thing she needed, craved.

Elliot.

**A/N: Olivia goes to see Cragen, she gets a surprise at the station, and she realizes just how complicated things are now. And what is that a tattoo of? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	3. Perception

**A/N: NOTE TO MY READERS AND FRIENDS: My first novel, CHASE, has been published and is now available for download from BN DOT COM. PM me for more details and the link/instructions if you're interested, and thank you all for giving me the support and encouragement to follow my dream! I owe this to you!**

_**Perception**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

She awoke with a dull ache between her legs, a bruise on her back, and a pounding in her chest, all caused by him. She ran a hand through her as-yet-unwashed hair and sighed, her mind flashing back to the way he'd taken her, roughly and without warning. The look in his eyes, the anger and lust and perhaps love that was deeply hidden in his glare. The way his hands and other parts of his body were punishing and soothing at once. The way he stayed with her, once they were finished, holding her up against the side wall of her living room, inside of her, caressing her, kissing her.

She shook her head, snapping out of her reverie before she got herself too worked up, and got out of her bed. She padded into the bathroom, turned the water on to a degree of hotness that would poach eggs, and stripped off the clothes that still smelled like him. He had a habit of lingering, she realized.

While she washed, she thought back to the words he said before he left her. "This isn't over," he had whispered before kissing her lips tenderly, a contrast to the animal he had been until then. "Everything else might be, but this isn't." And she watched him leave her apartment. He'd burst in, ravaged her, then took off. She was confused, and she was scared, but the promise of a continued…was it an affair? It gave her a bit of hope, too.

Dried and dressed, she took a look around the apartment, which after seven months of abandonment had taken on an air of dismal gloom. She sighed and walked through the door, locking it behind her, and headed for work. The precinct. Back to Fin, and Munch, and Tucker, and Melinda, and, of course, Elliot. Back to wondering where her captain was and what had happened because no one would tell her. She was planning to ask Elliot, but he clearly had more important things to do with his mouth than talk about Cragen. Talk about anything, really.

She walked briskly, her eyes seemed to focus on things she never would have noticed seven months ago. Details, she thought. The way she used to look at things in Boston, because it kept her mind from drifting back to New York, and back to Elliot. "Old habits die hard," she mused to herself with a smirk, taking note of a woman beside her, immediately spotting the fact that she was wearing two different socks. But it wasn't an old habit, was it? Was seven months enough time to consider things old?

She heaved another sigh as she turned down the block, and she saw the station come into view. She grinned, but it wasn't a happy smile. More of the type of smile you would give someone you haven't seen for a while, and you honestly can't remember why you ever liked them in the first place. She chuckled at her thought and headed for the building, but something made her stop short. Stop completely.

A few feet ahead of her, Elliot was getting out of his car. He had shaved, his suit hung perfectly on his strong form, and he had more of a cocky strut as he walked toward the steps of the station house. And as if he knew she was staring, he chuckled, shook his head, and turned around.

She felt her heart leap a bit as his eyes met hers, as his smirk grew darker, more evil. She narrowed her eyes but didn't move. She saw him lift a hand and crook a finger at her, as one would teasingly entice his lover to bed. She raised an eyebrow, let her own lips curl into a smirk, and walked toward him. She consciously let her hips move a bit more, her own walk taking on more attitude and brazenness. If he wanted to play, she'd play.

He reached for her hand when she got close enough and he lightly thumbed over the side of her palm. "Morning," he said, his teeth scraping over his bottom lip as if he were trying very hard not to sink those teeth into her neck.

"Good morning," she said, nodding at him. "You're holding my hand."

"Good job, Detective," he teased. "You look different. Your hair is longer, you've got more muscle to you than you did when you left, and, uh, not to toot my own horn, but you do look like you got good and fucked last night. It's all over your face."

His onslaught startled her, but she chuckled. "Well, it's been seven months, I didn't have anything to do but work and hit the gym out there, and I actually did get good and fucked last night." She watched his shoulders shake lightly as he laughed, then she said, "And you're still holding my hand."

"You're worried about someone seeing us?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Like I give a fuck. Come on, we have work to do."

She pulled her hand out of his as he tried to tug her up the stairs. "El, what…you can't just…"

"I can't just…what?" he asked. His eyes narrowed. He got an evil gleam in his eyes, suddenly. The same gleam that he'd had when he busted into her apartment. "I can't take what's rightfully mine? I can't be seen with you outside of your apartment, that it?"

"What's rightfully…" she was shocked. "You can't just act like this is a relationship! I've been gone for months, you didn't say shit to me about anything yesterday, then last night you…you can't just hold my hand after that!" she snapped. "Especially at work!"

He let out a heavy breath. "And the root of your problem right now is…"

"Your wife!" she said, falling into their usual pattern of reading each other's minds. "Where is she, Elliot? What's been going on with your kids for the last seven months? How insane did Cassidy make you, I mean, you've lost your fucking mind!"

He took two steps toward her and snapped, "I went home that night, smelling like you, crying and hurting and she…she actually said that…" He shook his head, trying to blink away the memory.

"What?" Olivia asked, her voice softer, her concern evident.

Elliot looked up at her, some of the forgotten pain had returned to the surface of his eyes. "She said she was glad you were gone. That you were out of her hair, and that she didn't have to listen to me talk about you anymore. She listed all of the reasons she thought life would be better without you." He bit his lip. "She didn't even care that I was crying. She didn't even ask how I felt about you…leaving."

"That's understandable, El," she said. "She thought…for years she accused us of…"

"I know," he interrupted. "Accusations I could live with as long as I could deny them." He blinked once and smirked. "As long as she was wrong, I could live with her constant complaining and defend myself to her. That ended that night, Liv. I lied about it, ya know, because you weren't there…I could pretend." He gripped her shoulders and said, "That's why I got so…pissed off when you came back. I can't deny it anymore. I can't fight this anymore, Liv."

She blinked. "But you're still married, aren't you? We can't…do this…not now. Not…not if people…"

"I couldn't get you out of my head," he said, cutting her off. "I couldn't…I tried, so damn hard, to forget about it, to pretend it didn't happen. Liv, you don't get it." He took her hand again and said, "I don't give a shit what people say, or think. I'm sorry, but I don't."

She looked down, away from him, spotting the slight differences in the coloring on the pavement. "That's what you meant when you said…that I shouldn't have come back. That I ruined everything," she said to him. "I'm ruining your marriage, your reputation, your job."

He chuckled and gave her hand a squeeze. "Yeah," he said. "But all of it was already half-way to shit anyway. You've ruined me, is what I really meant. I can't think, I can't breathe, I can't…function. Not without you. You destroyed me when you left, and you destroyed me when you came back, but I swear to God, if you ever leave again, I'm going with you."

She looked up at him, her eyes narrow and her lips tightly pressed together. "Tell me," she said. "What about…"

"You came back," he said. "I need time to get things straight with Kathy, a chance to explain things to the kids. It'll take a while to ruin my life, but…don't put us on hold. Stay with me while I give up everything I have. Don't make me give you up, too."

She shook her head. "You know what you're asking…"

"I'm not asking," he interjecting. "I'm demanding. A lot has changed in the last seven months, Liv. I'm a selfish bastard, and I'm not afraid to take what I want, you figured that out last night. I'll do it again if I have to. You know you won't fight me on it." He trailed his fingers lightly over her pant-covered hip. "You want it."

Her breath hitched, she twitched under his touch. "You really like that thing, don't you."

"Small, but hot. Very hot." He traced the outline of the design on her hip, his badge number permanently inked into her flesh. He moaned as he let his fingers slide down toward the heat between her legs, then moved back to her hip. "Means you feel the same way. That you think I belong to you."

She shook her head. "It was…it was my way of finally facing the fact that…I belong to you." She closed her eyes, hating to admit it. "I didn't just ruin you, that night. I ruined myself. I made it impossible to even look at anyone else, and…"

"You do," he said, stopping her words. "You do belong to me. Don't forget it." He took her hand again, pulling her with a bit more force up the steps. "I'm serious. I'm not gonna let anyone forget it."

She widened her eyes as she tried to keep up with him, looking around and over her shoulder hoping no one who mattered was around. Perception mattered, and she didn't want to let herself jump into anything until she could openly be with him without being labeled as a home-wrecker. She breathed a sigh of relief when they made it into the station lobby without being noticed, but that changed when they turned the corner and headed for the elevator.

Elliot stopped first, dropping Olivia's hand. "Shit," he hissed, running a hand over his face.

Olivia folded her arms, knowing this wasn't going to end well. "Thought you said…"

"Shut up, Liv," he said with a chuckle, rolling his eyes. "Just…please…don't."

Olivia smirked at him, then looked back at the woman by the elevator. She watched as the blonde walked toward them, grinning.

"Elliot," the woman said, holding a file out to him, "You left this on the table."

"Thanks," he said, his voice dry, annoyed. "You could have just…"

"I wanted to see for myself," the blonde interrupted. She turned and eyed Olivia with disdain. "She's really back. You must be thrilled."

Elliot cleared his throat. "Yeah, I am," he said.

"Hello, Olivia," the woman sneered, turning up her nose.

Olivia couldn't help the smirk, the feeling of pride and victory that came with Elliot's confession on the steps outside. She hid the chuckle, she hid the smile, and she hid the truth as she nodded politely. "Hello, Kathy."

**A/N: The truth about what happened to Cragen, and how big of a change is there in Elliot's attitude? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	4. Complication

**A/N: **_**Complication**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Olivia had to choke back the violent urge to throw up for the rest of the day, and most of the night. Seeing Kathy in the lobby, seeing the look in her eyes, it made her realize what she was. What she had been. For seven fucking months. She ran a hand through her hair, shaking thoughts away, and she sighed as she tossed an empty coffee cup into the waste bin. "I'm done, we have no leads."

"When has that ever stopped you?" Munch teased. "You go out there, you find someone with no connection at all, you yell at him you let Stabler get a couple whacks in, he confesses."

Olivia narrowed her eyes. "When are they letting Cragen out of the hospital?"

"Oh, come on, I'm kidding," Munch said with a roll of his eyes. "Did Boston suck the humor out of you?"

"It wasn't Boston," she mumbled, now avoiding Elliot's gaze.

Elliot watched her for a moment, then he grinned wickedly. He was under her skin, he was in her blood, just as she had been to him. As she was to him. He scraped his teeth along his bottom lip, grunting involuntarily as he watched her move toward the coffee pot again. He shook his head lightly as he thought about his next move, when he would strike, how he would attack. He chuckled at the thought of not even waiting till they got home. A brief vision of her up against the brick wall of the precinct out back flashed into his mind.

"Elliot!" Fin shouted.

Elliot turned, looking irritated.

"Sorry to interrupt your thoughts, but we're talkin' to you, here, man," Fin quibbled. "Come back to Earth."

"Hey!" Munch snapped, backhanding Fin in the shoulder playfully. "I'm the acting captain, I give the orders."

Fin chuckled. "Well, order Stabler to stop staring at Benson's ass," he said with a shrug and a vicious glance toward Elliot.

Olivia folded her arms. "Clearly, I missed something."

Munch nodded and leaned closer to her. "Fin and Elliot aren't exactly getting along right now," he said. "Haven't been for about five months. With no mediator here, they just kept bickering, picking on each other. You know they only tolerate each other because of you. You're important. To both of them." He eyed her pointedly and turned. "Finish typing that statement and go home!"

Olivia let his words sink in as Munch walked toward the office. She glanced at Fin, who was un-curling a paperclip while giving Elliot the stink-eye. Her eyes traveled to Elliot, and she jumped a bit when she saw him, staring at her. His eyes were filled with something she couldn't place. Couldn't understand. She raised an eyebrow at him and watched him smirk. Was he…laughing?

She moved slowly, his heated gaze following her, and she sat in her chair, feeling more vulnerable than she'd ever had now that he was staring directly at her. "So, what was in that file? The one Kathy had to haul her ass all the way down here to give you."

"Pre-nup," Elliot said flatly. "I have to go over it, make sure I know exactly what she's getting, what I'm getting, and the terms of our custody…"

"You and Kathy signed a pre-nup?" Olivia asked, shocked. "I thought you didn't believe in div…"

Elliot held up a hand. "The Catholic in me doesn't," he interrupted. "The trust fund kid in me does. My parents were worried she was only after the…"

"Trust fund?" she scoffed. "Are you kidding me?"

Elliot gave her a cocky smile. "My mom came from money. All of us Stabler kids got a good chunk, only accessible when we got married and got out of the house. My parents had this stupid pre-nup drawn up so Kathy couldn't touch it." He leaned closer. "How the fuck do you think I'm putting four kids through prep-school on a cop's salary, Liv?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I just assumed Kathy…"

"Ha," Elliot laughed bitterly. "No, honey, that's all me." His eyes took on a dark gleam and he continued, "If Kathy ever does anything for the kids that doesn't involve cooking, cleaning, or sewing I'll have a heart attack. She's an amazing mother, she's just…not a provider. She's not proactive. She would make me be the one to yell , discipline, law down rules, and she would comfort them when they ran crying to her and telling her they hated me."

"That's what most mothers do," Olivia offered with a shrug. "They're afraid to be the bad guy, so they pin the rough stuff on the fathers."

"You wouldn't." He shook his head and met her eyes again. "In fact, I think you've yelled at my kids more than Kathy has. Like that time you caught Dickie climbing on the refrigerator."

Olivia balked. "He could have gotten hurt," she said softly.

Elliot smirked. "Or the time you found Kathleen going through my wallet."

"I've never condoned stealing, no matter who it's from," she said, rolling her eyes.

"But you see? You were able to put aside your personal fears of my kids hating you," he laughed. "Kathy never could." He drummed his fingers along the desk. "That's why this is ending. It's…me and Kathy, we're not a team. We're not…partners."

Her eyes snapped up toward his. Something in his voice gave her chills when he said that word. Partners. Like it meant more to him than it should. She knew he was trying to make her aware of something, he had chosen that word for a reason, but she was either to naïve or too afraid to catch on.

"You wanna get out of here?" he asked, standing. "I finished the statement. Just printed it." He turned over his shoulder. "Let Fin get off his ass and get it."

"I heard that," Fin spat, getting out of his chair and heading for the printer.

"I wasn't trying to keep my voice down," Elliot spat back.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I'll get the ruler out later, okay?" she teased. "Can we go now? I'm tired."

"Man, Boston made you bossy," Elliot joked, resting a hand on the small of her back as they walked out of the doors.

Fin's eyes followed them and he made a disapproving noise. "Shit," he said, heading back to his desk. He needed to move. Fast.

* * *

><p>Olivia took a deep breath as they walked out into the night. She looked up and she exhaled slowly. "No stars," she said softly.<p>

"What?" Elliot asked, walking beside her.

She shook her head and said, "Nothing." She took a look around her, taking in the grunge of the city. "Ya know, it's funny. I didn't really miss…woah!"

"Shh!" Elliot hushed her as he thrust her up against the wall of the alley, into which he'd just pulled her. "You wouldn't want anyone to hear you out here."

"What the hell are you…oh, God," she said, her eyes rolling as she felt his hands slide between her legs.

He chuckled as he rubbed, over her pants, slow and hard. "All day," he mumbled. "I've been thinking about this all day." He gave her chin a nudge with his nose, dropped a soft kiss to her neck, and whispered, "You have, too, huh?"

She shook her head. "Actually, I've been…Jesus, Elliot," she moaned at his touch. "I've been trying not to think about it."

"Good luck with that," he hissed. He moved his hands, heard her moan in protest, and he brought his fingers to the button on her waistband. He undid the clasp, slid the zipper down, and looked into her eyes as he slid her pants over her hips.

She was staring right back at him, not moving, afraid if she so much as twisted he would stop, which she didn't want him to do. At all. "What…" she choked out, unable to silence the doubts completely.

His eyes remained fixed on hers as his hands moved again, slipping her delicate, thin panties over her hips. "I've got this thing," he said with a chuckle, "About taking you up against walls, when you least expect it." He trailed two of his fingers back up her thighs, letting them dip into her slit. "Jesus, you're wet," he said with a snicker. He watched her face as one of those fingers pushed into her. He leaned closer as her eyes slid closed. "Hot and tight," he said softly, just a hair away from her lips.

She moaned and her head rolled to the side. Her left arm snaked up his back, her nails scratching through his jacket and shirt. "El," she moaned. "Oh, God, El."

"Fuck, Liv! Hearing you say my name like that…it haunts my dreams," he told her, slipping another finger into her and watching her eyes squeeze shut again. He twisted them, turned them, and ran his thumb over her clit, laughing as she unwound in his hand. He worked the fly of his pants open with his other hand and he grunted when he felt her grab a hold of him.

She opened her eyes and looked at him, staring into his eyes as she stroked him. She saw the surprise, the lust, and the love swirling in them as she ran her hand along his length. She chuckled when he gasped, and when he moaned she bent her head forward. "What the hell has gotten into you?" she asked, moaning as he pulled his fingers from her depths. "You weren't like this seven months ago."

He laughed and took hold of her wrist, slid her hand away from his shaft, and said, "You." He let out a low growl as he pushed into her quickly, catching her loud yelp with his lips. He grabbed her and flipped them around, pressing himself up against the bricks. He grunted as he lifted her left leg around his waist, and moaned as he felt her moving her body, wanting this as much as he did.

"Well, this complicates things, doesn't it," he laughed, gripping her body.

"What does?" she asked, meeting his thrusts, gripping him as he leaned against the wall behind him.

He grabbed her ass and pulled her tighter against him, getting deeper into her, and he said, "This. Us. You and me. We're not friends anymore. We're not partners anymore. We're more than that, but less than anything else." He snapped his teeth over her bottom lip and tugged. "At least, not yet. Are we?"

"I have no fucking clue," she moaned, dropped her head to his shoulder. "You started this. You kissed me. You're the one that wanted to…"

"I had to," he growled. "I thought I was losing you, and I couldn't let you go with knowing…" He stopped and kissed her, pulling her hair roughly and hitting into her as he spun them both around again, slamming her into the wall. He pulled his lips off of hers and said, "You're not complaining."

She chuckled and as he thrust into her again, hitting a spot inside her that set off her first intense orgasm, she moaned and cried his name. "I'm not," she said, biting her lip.

"So," he breathed, grunting as he continued thrusting, "We've got a problem."

She nodded as he kissed her, and she felt him holding her tighter. She heard him growl, she knew he was gonna blow, and she knew she would follow him over the cliff again. She had problem, all right. For the first time in her life, she gave up control. She gave it up to the only person in the world who had the power to break her.

"Fuck," he spat, hitting into her hard as she clenched around him again, and he let go, shooting into her, kissing her madly. "I love you," he mumbled, his tongue wrapped around hers, his entire body working hard to own hers.

Fuck was right, she thought. She was in love.

**A/N: Hmm…someone goes to visit Cragen next, and a snag in the divorce proceedings adds another complication. And someone from Olivia's past come back! Who? Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	5. Vexation

**A/N: **_**Vexation**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Olivia pulled hard on her hair as she brushed it, the pain of the tangles ripping apart didn't seem to bother her. She grunted as she ran the brush through her mane again, and slapped the paddle down on her dresser. "Shit," she huffed, pulling it up into a clip.

She grabbed her gun and badge out of the nightstand drawer, clipped them onto her hip, and padded out into her living room. She slid on her shoes and opened the door, grimacing at the harsh light of the hallway.

It was another middle of the night call to a crime scene, and she was not as rested as she needed to be. She slammed the door behind her and grumbled under her breath, walking fast down the hall. She rubbed her eyes roughly, trying to shake away the images that had been burning into them all night.

She blinked and she saw him, naked, sweating, panting. She heard him moaning her name, and then she heard him tell her he loved her. "Son of a bitch," she spat, slamming her fist into the elevator's call button.

She was too annoyed to take the stairs, she knew she would miss a step and fall on her face. Or she'd run too far, too fast, and slam into a wall. She sighed, wondering if maybe she should have taken the steps to put herself out of her misery. She rode down to the ground floor, nearly leaped off of the lift, and bolted out the door with a swagger in her step that could only meant she was pissed off beyond comprehension.

She was in such a mood that she got into a taxi, one that was waiting for someone else, held up her badge, and told the cabbie to drive. She hissed the address at him and slumped back in the seat, squeezing the bridge of her nose. She shouldn't be this bothered, she shouldn't be this consumed with him. It wasn't her. It wasn't who she was.

"Fuck," she sighed, rolling her eyes. Maybe that's what she was now. Her thoughts drifted to the night she left, as they often did, and she replayed the scene in her mind. She remembered telling him she was leaving. She remembered him saying he knew.

"But I don't like it," he told her. Then he reminded her that he was the only one who should be protecting her, ever, and that he didn't trust the Boston cops as far as he could throw them.

"I'll be fine," she said, trying to smile at him. "Just say goodbye to me, Stabler. I'm coming back."

And that's when things shifted. "What if you're not?" he asked softly. "What if he figures out who you are? He could kill you, Liv. He will kill you if he…"

She tried to stop him, she tried to tell him he was being silly, but he stood and walked over to her, bracing her between his body and the wall of the bunkroom.

"I can't let you leave, knowing you might not come back," he breathed against her skin. "Not without telling you…not without showing you…" he stopped, and he stared into her eyes.

Her breath quickened, her heart pounded, and she melted into him when he kissed her, his lips slowly teasing her mouth open and his tongue delicately dancing with hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let him pull her to the bed, she wasn't stopping him, she wasn't objecting.

She let him slip off all of her clothes, and she pulled and tugged at his. She let him kiss and touch her in ways that a partner never should, and she returned each caress and each sweet kiss. She let him look into her eyes, with the soft light bulb still on above them, as he pushed himself into her, giving her everything he had. She gave it all right back, fully.

She was responsible, just as much as he was. She wanted it as much as he did, if not more. But she thought it was his desperation, his fear of losing her.

She never imagined that it was his love for her that drove it all. And now she was in deep shit, because his murmuring to her, his sweet words which contradicted every one of his actions, had convinced her that she loved him right back.

Olivia Benson did not fall in love.

She wasn't sure she knew how to love at all, but two days home from Boston, with Elliot, had proved otherwise. She knew how to love. She knew how love like her life depended on it, and the fear of getting hurt was greater now than it ever had been.

"We're here, lady!" the cabbie barked over his shoulder, snapping Olivia out of her dim reverie.

"Thanks," she said, handing him a twenty dollar bill. "Keep the change." She couldn't afford it, but really, she didn't have the patience to wait for him to find and count out the money he owed her. She got out of the taxi and slammed the door, then headed for the flashing lights.

She stepped up to the yellow tape, lifted it and sunk underneath it, and strode toward Melinda, the medical examiner, and the man in jeans and a sweatshirt beside her. She furrowed her brow and tilted her head as she realized who it was. Elliot looked good in jeans. Damn good.

She shook her head again and found her voice. "What's the story, here?"

Elliot turned, and his face went white. "Damn, you…got all dressed up for this, didn't you?"

"Figured I had to get dressed for work to go to work," she snipped back. "I didn't get the memo about Casual Tuesday," she said, pulling on the laces of his hoodie.

He chuckled and said, "I didn't feel much like putting on a suit when I woke up." He pointed to the cold body on the ground and said, "Warner got an ID, her name's Rachael Kline. She's, uh, cut up pretty badly. Obvious sexual mutilation."

"Thank God I didn't eat breakfast," Olivia mumbled, pressing a hand to her stomach. "Any fluids?" she asked Melinda.

The ME looked up and shook her head. "Not on the outside. When I get her back to the lab and do a full exploration, I'll let you know."

Olivia nodded, then turned to look at Elliot. She had to struggle to keep the butterflies from growing in her stomach, and she looked away from him for a moment. "Munch told me he went to see Cragen," she told him.

Elliot nodded. "The man is a fighter, that's for sure. He's up and walking around so he should be back…"

"Munch told me Cragen's thinking about…maybe not coming back," she said, looking down. "He's still on a lot of medication, though, so he's out of it. He told Munch he needed to make sure he made it to the polls to vote for Nixon."

Elliot chuckled and said, "That's like him. Oh, uh, Kathy might…there's a problem with Kathy."

She raised an eyebrow and folded her arms. "Yeah?"

He bit his lips and said, "All you need to know is this is gonna take longer than I thought. We might need to try a little harder to hide this. Us."

She screwed up her face and put her hands on her hips. "So last night, that was you trying to hide…"

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, more concerned than he had been. "I know brick walls are hardly…"

"You didn't hurt me," she said. "You just…" she paused, and she decided to change the direction of the conversation. She had something she needed to know. "You said something…you said it a lot and…I mean, is that just something you say to women when you're fucking them up against walls?"

He scoffed and his eyes narrowed. "What?" he asked, clearly offended.

"Detectives!" Melinda called, waving them over to her. "You might wanna see this."

Elliot stormed away from Olivia, but knew she was right behind him. "What?" he asked, huffing and folding his arms.

Melinda pointed to a blistering wound on the victim's side. "What do you think?"

Olivia knelt down, then looked up at Elliot. "She's been burned by something. Badly."

Elliot nodded. "Looks kind of like the end of a lighter," he said. "See the small circle and the oval around it?"

"Yeah," Olivia said, getting to her feet. "Take some pictures of that for us, huh, Mel?"

"You got it," Melinda said, getting back to work as Elliot pulled Olivia away from the scene.

She pulled her arm out of his grip and said, "What the hell?"

He glared at her as they walked over to his sedan. "What the hell, is right! What the hell did you mean, is that just something I say…" He paused and threw an arm up at her. "How many women do you think I'm fucking?"

She raised both eyebrows and folded her arms. "You tell me," she challenged.

"One!" he yelled at her, pulling the driver's side door open. "Just you." He sat and waited for her.

She sighed and got into the car, and as soon as her door was closed he sped off. "I didn't mean…I was trying to ask you why you…"

"No, it's not, okay?" he hissed, his jaw tight. "It's not something I just say in the heat of the moment like that. I wouldn't say it unless I meant it, and I said it a lot, so…you didn't say it back, and that's fine. Doesn't mean that whatever this is between us is gonna end any time soon. I know you…"

"I didn't say it," she interrupted, "Because I didn't know you meant it." She turned her head and looked out the window. "And I don't wanna say it unless I know I mean it, and I'm not…I mean I know how I feel I just…"

"Don't wanna feel it," he finished for her with a sadistic grin. "I know you, Liv. I know how you work, and I know how you think. So don't try any of your usual shit with me, okay? I know every move you're gonna make before you make it, so whether you want to or not, you're gonna fall in love with me."

She snapped her head back to him. "How do you know I'm not already…"

"You're gonna let yourself do it," he interrupted. "You're gonna accept it. Because I can't accept anything else." He glanced at her as he turned the car down a side street. "Okay?"

She was staring at him, watching his face. He looked so serious, so firm. She tilted her head when she thought she saw him flinch a bit, as if maybe he wasn't as secure in this as he let on. She smiled, understanding what he was doing. He was playing the aggressor, because she had the power to hurt him.

He gave her control, in a way, just as she had given him.

She was confused, and annoyed, and very unwilling to let it happen, but she knew that if someone like Elliot could let his guard down every once in a while, so could she. "Okay," she said, sitting back in her seat and staring out of the windshield.

Elliot let out a small unnoticeable sigh, relieved, and then built up his rough wall again. "Good," he snapped. "After work," he said with a smirk, "You can prove it."

**A/N: More aggressive Elliot, and a small glimmer of Olivia losing control, next. **


	6. Admission

**A/N: **_**Admission**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

She sat on her couch, one hand fingering at the hole in her cushion as the other pulled nervously at her sleeve, watching him rummage through her refrigerator. She heard him mumbling to himself, only picking up words like, "empty," "starving," "beautiful," "fuck," and "shopping." She didn't understand what exactly he was talking about, but she knew it had to do with her, sex, and the lack of food in her fridge.

Finally, he walked over to her couch, a beer in his hand, and he looked at her with exasperated eyes. "You don't have anything edible in there, yet you have a six pack of Bud Ice?"

She shrugged and said, "Beer was more important." She ran a hand through her hair and shook her head. "What are you so worried about anyway? I never have any food in there."

"That's what I'm worried about," he said to her, sipping from the can in his hand. There was silence, then, as he looked around the apartment, taking in the shabby look of most of the furniture. He took a deep breath and said, "You didn't cover any of this up before you left. You just left it here, open and abandoned."

She narrowed her eyes. "How did you…you came here? While I was gone?"

He took another gulp of his beer and said, "I brought in all of your mail, I paid your bills, I made sure your heat and electricity kept running. Someone had to, because no one…"

"Right," she scoffed. "No one else would be here to do it. Thanks for reminding me, yet again, that I don't have…"

"I was telling you that you have me," he interrupted with an irritated tone. "I was telling you that I went to work, sometimes until three in the morning, and instead of going home to my family I came here to make sure things got done so you wouldn't have to deal with any shit when you came back! If you came back."

She looked away from him, heaving a heavy sigh. She stared at a dark spot on the wall, one she didn't remember being there seven months ago, and she said, "Thank you." Simple. Sufficient. Avoiding an argument. She tilted her head and asked, "What is that?"

He turned to look at her, saw where her gaze had landed, and said, "I punched it." He took a sip of his beer and chuckled. "Then I patched it up. I repainted it, but these walls are a hard fucking shade to match."

"Why the hell did you punch my wall, Elliot?" she asked, snapping her head toward him.

"Something came in the mail for you," he said, his voice dropping along with his eyes. "I saw the return address, I flipped, I opened it…"

She interrupted him again, louder this time. "You opened my mail?"

"It was fucking from Porter, Liv!" he shouted, his eyes wide, defensive. "What the hell was I supposed to do? I had to know what the asshole wanted, and when I read…"

She folded her arms and shouted over him. "What gives you the right to…"

"I staked my claim on you the night you left," he said, cutting her off, shouting back. "In my mind, you were mine, and he had no fucking right to be writing to you!"

"Claim? Yours? Jesus Christ!" she snapped. "We fucked! You wouldn't even walk me to the car, or say…"

"Do you have any idea how much pain I was in?" he yelled. "God, I couldn't say goodbye! I couldn't stand to watch you leave, not without trying to stop you, or trying to go with you, and I couldn't do either! I just let you go, and I knew that if I never said goodbye then you had to come back!"

She sunk into the seat again, the air had been knocked from her lungs. "Shit," she said, dropping her head into her hands. "You know I thought…I thought it didn't…"

"You thought it didn't mean anything?" he asked, softer now, worried. He dropped his empty beer can to the coffee table and scooted closer to her. "It meant everything."

She lifted her head and looked at him for a moment, trying to see through his eyes. "I know that now," she said, shaking her head. "I just…I don't…what did that letter from Dean say?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Typical, Liv. Just change the damn subject." He sighed and said, "He said he was flying in, he wanted to see you. Said something about picking up where you left off." He gave her an inquisitive look and asked, "Which is where, exactly?"

She rolled her eyes. "Nowhere," she grumbled. "Really, El, you know what happened with him. He spent months trying to apologize. He called, he e-mailed, I ignored him. I guess he thought if he took the time to write an actual…"  
>"He didn't know you were in Boston," Elliot interjected. "He didn't…he thought you were still here."<p>

"No one knew I was gone, no one except you and Cragen, the rest of the squad." She shook her head. "I didn't need to tell anyone else. There was really no one to tell. I didn't even consider him…"

"Next week," he said, cutting her off again. "His letter said he was coming to see you next week. What are you gonna do?"

She tilted her head. "What?"

He moved fast, covering her suddenly with his body, pushing her into the arm of the couch. He breathed hotly against her lips and stared into her dark eyes. "What are you gonna do about this? What are you gonna tell him?" He bent his head and lowered his voice, he skimmed his right hand down her body to the juncture of her thighs. He pressed his fingers into her skin through her pants, rubbed her hard, and said, "Are you gonna tell him you're mine? Or are you gonna let him think he can touch you like this without me breaking every one of his fingers."

She moaned and her hips bucked involuntarily as he pawed at her body, making her grow hot and wet at his touch. "Damn it, Elliot!" she hissed as her head dropped back.

"Tell me," he demanded, his left hand moving to unbutton her pants. "Do you want him, Liv? More than you want me?" He slipped hands between her pants and her skin, and he pushed the material down over her hips, moving her body easily. "Because you do want me, don't you?"

She groaned and lifted her head. "How old were you when that ego developed?"

"Twelve," he said with a cocky grin, "When I realized I was bigger than every other kid in the locker room." He kissed her, his right hand tugging aside her panties to stroke her wet slit. He moaned into her mouth when his finger slipped between her folds and he felt her hot slickness coat his skin.

She bucked into his hand and moaned against his lips. She pulled away from him with a gasp, her hands wrapped around his arms and squeezed hard. "This has to stop," she breathed.

"You want me to stop?" he asked, dropping his lips, in a series of soft kisses, across her neck and down the skin of her chest.

"No," she admitted, letting out another moan as she felt his finger push into her. "God, no."

"That's what I thought," he chuckled, kissing his way back up to her lips. "You said…in the car this morning, you tried to tell me something. What was it?"

She shook her head and rolled her eyes backward as he urged another finger into her. "El," she moaned.

He narrowed his eyes and slunk down her body, dropping kisses through her clothes until his face met his hand. "Say it," he demanded, growling at her.

"Oh, God, what are you…" she stopped speaking, stopped breathing, when he bent his head and dipped his tongue into her slit, sliding up slowly.

He hummed, a satisfied, pleasure-riddled sound. "So good," he murmured, sending his tongue swiping up again. He rolled his tongue over her in a wave-like motion, making her give him a purely guttural moan. He chuckled and hovered over her clit. "Tell me," he whispered, as he began to flick his tongue over her clit quickly, moving his fingers faster at the same time.

"I don't know what…holy shit, Elliot!" She moaned and dropped her hand to the back of his head. She pressed down and ground her body up into his face, and he grunted, loving it. "What do you want me to say?"

"Say it," he said, sucking her clit into his mouth, holding it between his teeth as he did.

"Fucking hell, Elliot," she moaned. "Ah, damn it, oh, God!"

He chuckled again, her clit picking up all of the vibrations from his reverberating voice. He twisted his fingers, and nipped down on her clit, making her yelp. He let it go, still moving his fingers fast and hard, and looked up at her. "Say it. Liv, baby, tell me."

She struggled to open her eyes, but she looked at him, seeing the sincerity and desperation in his eyes. She felt pressure building, knew she was going to explode. "El, I…oh, God."

"Come on, baby," he cooed, pulling his fingers out and pushing them back in slowly, twisting them as he moved them. "Come on. You can say it."

She squeezed her eyes shut and she let herself go, giving into the release, into his command, giving into him completely. "I love you," she said softly, her back arched and her eyes shut. She was really fucked now. By him. The irony.

He felt her clenching and pulsing around his fingers and he dropped his head to lick at her spasming body. He moaned as he cleaned her up, slowing his thrusting fingers before stopping them, pulling them out, and running his tongue up and down her slit slowly one last time.

She was breathing hard, trying to stop shaking. She couldn't believe the power of her orgasm, or that she had just told him the one thing that made her completely vulnerable to him. She didn't open her eyes, not until she felt his breath, just as heavy and quick as hers, directly over her mouth.

"You said it," he whispered, an inch away from her.

She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Yeah." She saw his eyes flicker, and she didn't know exactly what it meant.

"So what are you gonna tell Porter?" he asked, giving her chin a gentle nudge with his nose.

She laughed, still panting, and brought her hands up from her sides to around his neck. "I'm gonna tell him that I'm involved with someone."

"Are you gonna tell him it's me?" he asked, kissing her forehead softly.

She looked up at him and she sighed. "Are you gonna tell Kathy about me?"

He kissed her lips, gentle and tender, moaning ever-so-softly as he let one hand come up to her face and caress. "She already knows," he whispered.

She looked at him, shocked, and realized that this was not only complicated, but much more serious than she gave it credit for.

**A/N: What exactly did he say to Kathy? What does Olivia tell Dean Porter? And when a question is asked of the two detectives, they have very different answers. Review here, or on Twitter: TMG212**


	7. Trangression

**A/N: _Transgression_**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to Tstabler©**

She sat in the restaurant, confused and conflicted. Why was she meeting him? Why was she meeting _them_? She drummed her fingers along the edge of the table, looked around, and suddenly she wished she was back in Boston, in the cold with people she didn't care about.

Where this wasn't happening. A place where her life was so simple. Lonely, but simple.

In Boston, she wasn't sleeping with her best friend, she wasn't the primary cause for someone's divorce. When she was in Boston, she didn't have lunch plans with the ex-wife of her lover, she didn't offer to help said ex-wife move out of her lover's house, she didn't have to lie to her friends, her co-workers, and her boss about who she'd been getting the bite marks from, and she didn't have to admit to herself that she was actually in love with the man.

In Boston, she wasn't constantly being surprised by his hands, his lips, his tongue, his teeth, and the rest of his body. When she was in Boston, he wasn't there to show her what it felt like to be loved, possessed, taken over by need and want and passion, and by him. In Boston, she was miserable, but it was so easy to be unafraid.

She exhaled slowly, raising her eyes from the small wine stain on the tablecloth, spotting them walking toward her. She noticed they were both alive, which was good, and neither appeared to be bleeding. They had behaved themselves, it seemed. She stood as they reached the table, and both men rested a hand on her chair. She watched as they eyed each other, and she gave a tense glance at the man to her left. He let go of her chair, and she sat, letting the man to her right push her chair in.

He grazed his hand up her back, a low chuckle escaped as he slid over her skin, and he knew she knew what he'd done. He sat, then, and nodded to the other gentleman. "How was your flight?" he asked, shaking the napkin out and laying it on his lap. He smirked as he moved his hand just a bit. To the lap of the woman to his left.

Olivia tensed up when she felt his hand on her knee, sliding upward, then down, almost petting. She swallowed hard but she didn't dare look at him. "Where are you staying, Dean?" she asked, her voice calm and smooth, despite the nerves.

Dean took a deep breath and said, "The flight was good, Elliot. Long." He folded his hands on the table and leaned inward. "I'm staying at the New Yorker," he said with a shrug. "Down by Penn…"

"We know where it is," Elliot interrupted, keeping his gaze steady on Dean while his fingers teased the silk under Olivia's dress. He was playing with fire, and he wasn't afraid of getting burned. He knew she wouldn't stop him.

Olivia blinked, her hand wrapped around her water glass, and both men looked at her as she took a long, slow sip, her throat rippling as she swallowed. She let out a small breath as she dropped the glass to the table, and she asked, "I told you that Elliot and I were…"

"Yeah," Dean said, nodding, cutting her off. "I already had the reservations and the plane ticket. I thought it would be nice to catch up anyway, with the both of you."

Elliot trailed his middle finger under the elastic of Olivia's panties, resting his other hand on his glass of water. "Catch up?" he questioned. "Really?"

"Look," Dean huffed, oblivious to the goings-on under the table. "I wanted to see her, I don't care that she's with you now. This isn't gonna last, you both know it, so why can't this just be dinner between three friends, until it ends and she comes crawling back to me?"

Olivia pressed her lips together as she felt Elliot's finger slide up her folds, beneath her dress, beneath the table, in the presence of her ex-boyfriend. "Dean," she choked out, "That's not gonna happen."

Elliot laughed, for a few reasons, and he said, "She dumped you long before anything happened between us."

"I've changed," Dean said with a shrug.

"So have I," Olivia said, taking another deep drink of water. She suppressed a moan as she felt the intense pressure of Elliot's finger inching into her. She suddenly sat up straighter, though, and turned her head.

He smirked at her, giving her a dark, angular look that seemed to say he dared her to stop him. "Something wrong, Liv?"

She bit her lip and shook her head. "So, uh, any interesting cases out there in Seattle?"

"Interesting? No," Dean remarked. "Impossible? Yeah. Do you know how many serious federal crimes occur in any given month?"

Olivia cleared her throat, trying to appear interested in Dean's conversation and not show that she was being teased and tormented by her partner. "I can guess," she said, offering a smile.

"How's things in New York?" Dean asked, picking up his water. He sipped it and thought he saw Olivia's eyes flash. Something in them he perceived as lust. He sighed, wishing she was looking at him, not Elliot, when it happened. "Still the same?"

Olivia chuckled, hiding the shaky moan well, as Elliot squeezed another finger into her. "Well, uh, I've been gone for…" she coughed. Her mouth had gone dry.

"She was undercover," Elliot interrupted. "In Boston. Seven months." He raised his glass to his still-grinning lips, and he said, "She got back two weeks ago."

Dean narrowed his eyes. "Wait, you came back, two weeks ago, and you two…you didn't waste any time."

Elliot shrugged and twisted his wrist, feeling her pulsing around his fingers. He laughed and said, "We didn't see the point. Things were over between me and Kathy, I wanted her, she wanted me, we just…we got what we wanted." He looked at her and saw her rolling her neck, pretending to be working out a kink in her back as she arched it, cumming silently. "Didn't we, baby?"

"Yes," she said, a moan and a whisper at once. She looked up at him and saw the menace in his eyes. "We did," she said, her eyes narrowing at him.

Dean shook his head and said, "It was only a matter of time."

"Wasn't it?" Elliot quipped, putting his hand back in his lap, slyly grinning at the man across from him. "To answer your question, New York is just as grimy and shitty as it ever was. We're still some of the busiest cops in the city, and we don't get any sleep, and we go home smelling like death and fish."

"Together?" Dean asked, looking down at Elliot's left hand, wincing at the fact that the ring was gone.

Elliot noticed, and he wiggled his fingers, chuckling to himself. If only Dean knew where those fingers had been moments ago. "Do we go home together? No," he said, shaking his head. "Not yet. We're, uh, we aren't quite there yet.

Olivia gave him a curious look. They weren't to the point of spending the full night with each other, but they had long reached the point of public lewdness, apparently. "No," she said, her jaw clenched. "We aren't."

He returned her look, tilting his head. "Soon, though."

She rolled her eyes and looked back at Dean. She knew what Elliot wanted, what his games meant, and she knew that she was the one holding back. She zoned out, letting the men talk amongst themselves, as her thoughts drifted to her reasons. Why she couldn't dive into this with him.

She told him she loved him. They were just words, really, but ever since she said them, actually let them come out of her mouth, she felt weird. As if she'd made a huge mistake. She made it real, she made it a relationship.

She looked at Dean, then, and wondered why she couldn't say it to him, in two years, and it had taken only a couple of days for her to say it to Elliot. She reached blindly for her glass, and she wrapped her hand around Elliot's wrist instead.

He watched her head turn, their eyes locked, and he slid his hand off of his glass, holding it open, palm up. He gave her the upper hand, then, waiting for her next move.

She smiled at him, dropping her hand into his, and she felt him wrap her fingers up and squeeze. Relief, she thought. She squeezed back, watching his eyes light up. She leaned closer to him, and very softly, she kissed him, acknowledging her error, and willingly facing the consequences.

Dean, however, was determined to make her see that it all really was a mistake, and he was going to need help.

**A/N: This just got a little more complicated. Review? Yes? No?**


	8. Salvation

**A/N: **_**Salvation**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to Tstabler©**

"I guess I'll start moving the furniture," Olivia said, turning to Kathy. "You can get that last box out of the truck, right?"

Kathy smirked. "It can stay there. It's all Elliot's stuff."

Olivia was confused. "You packed a box of…"

"I wanted to see if he'd notice," Kathy said, cutting her off. "He's the one who loaded the boxes into the truck."

There was a moment of awkward silence. Olivia looked around the empty space. The walls were stark white and the windows were curtainless, letting in the city sun. She took a deep breath and turned to Kathy. "So what is this really about? You asking me and Elliot to help you with this. taking us to lunch?"

Kathy tilted her head. "You think I have ulterior motives?" she asked, grinning. "Maybe I do. Maybe I don't." She knelt down and opened a box, pulling out plates. She took off the newspaper and said, "This was the pattern we picked out. Wedding china. Pretty isn't it?"

Olivia sighed, understanding now. "Okay, you don't have to do that."

"My mother spent more money than she had on this, just to get us the whole set," Kathy said. "She said we needed service for eight. We never even used it. Not once. It just stayed in the cabinet."

"Kathy, I get it," Olivia said, moving toward the couch. She pushed it against the wall and looked at it, as if contemplating its placement. As if she really cared.

"I don't think you do," Kathy said, shaking her head. "We had china, Olivia. We had something fragile and delicate, and then you came along, like a raging bull, and it all went crashing to the floor." She dropped one of the dishes, chuckling as it shattered. "What happened the night you left? What did you say to him?"

Olivia folded her arms, she licked and bit her lips. "He told me you knew."

"No, I know you're sleeping with him now," she said, pointing a finger downward. "He refuses to tell me what happened the night you left. What the hell did you say to him, Olivia? He came home and he just…cried. Elliot, the man who was brought up to believe crying made him weak, who didn't cry at his father's funeral…he cried! For two fucking days!"

"I said goodbye," Olivia said, her jaw clenched. "Nothing else was said. I can promise you that, we didn't do much talking that night."

Kathy raised an eyebrow. "Are you…"

"What the hell happened in here?" Elliot asked, coming through the door with luggage. He pointed to the shattered porcelain. "Is anyone hurt?"

"You asshole," Kathy spat, turning to him. "You fucked her!"

Elliot raised an eyebrow. "Kathy, you know we…"

"Seven months ago!" Kathy yelled.

"I never said that!" Olivia shouted defensively. "All I said was that we didn't talk. You're the one who jumped…"

"Yeah." Elliot was glaring at Kathy. "Yeah, I did. There was a possibility I was never gonna see her again, so…yeah. It doesn't matter now, does it? Does that really change anything?"

Olivia slapped a hand to her forehead and dropped into the plastic covered couch. "Smooth, Stabler," she mumbled.

"Oh, come on," he said, facing her. "The papers are signed! It doesn't matter anymore. Then, now. Sooner, later. Seven months ago, last night. Who cares when it happened?"

"I do!" Kathy barked. "Seven months ago, Elliot, this could have…I wouldn't be here if…that night changed…"

Elliot cut her off. "That night was amazing," he said with a vile grin. "But whether or not it happened, we were ending, you know that. We were fighting all the time, we got on each other's nerves, I spent more time on the couch in the last year than I ever have. Kathy, you told me you understood why…"

"I did," Kathy interrupted. "Until I found out you cheated on me, and that's what ignited…" she turned to Olivia. "Who started it?"

"What?" Olivia asked, her gaze shifting from a sealed cardboard box to Kathy's face, seeing that they were almost the same pallid color.

Kathy took a step toward Olivia. "Who started it? Who made the first move?"

Olivia saw the pain in Kathy's eyes, the hope and the fear that usually lived in her own. She took a deep breath and said, "Me. I was heading into a potentially deadly situation and I…I just wanted one night with him, in case I didn't make it back." She bit her lip and looked up.

kathy furrowed her brow. "You…but you were the one who always tried to keep us…"

"She's lying," Elliot said, folding his arms. "She's doing that thing where she tries to save my ass again." He chuckled and said, "She doesn't get that I don't care anymore. I moved first. I asked her to sleep with me, and it took a lot of convincing, and a lot of prodding. I was the one who couldn't let her go without…"

Olivia laughed, an angry and unbelieving chuckle. "Jesus, Elliot! Can you please just stop talking?"

Kathy turned, facing Elliot. "I never thought you would…"

"If I didn't think I was losing her, I doubt I would have," he interrupted, his voice low. "Kathy, please, try to see it from my point of view. If Nick was heading out to some third world country with Doctors Without Borders and you knew that he could die, you wouldn't…"

"How did you know…how do you know how I feel about him?" Kathy asked, stopping his comparison.

He smiled at her. "I see the way you look at him," he said. "The look in your eyes, it's the same one I get in mine when I look at Liv. You've been working with him for years, overnights in the emergency room, all that tension and excitement. If anyone knows how easy it is to fall in love with someone with whom you're facing death every day, it's me."

Kathy swallowed, then she closed her eyes for a moment. "You really thought she was…"

"The man she was after raped and killed thirteen women, four of them were undercover cops," Elliot said. "He was using people in his precinct to get the girls, and he'd sell them to the highest bidder. When he couldn't sell them, he got rid of them. He killed three of the cops who cornered him, without ever letting on he did it. He was slick, he was dangerous, and I was pretty sure she was gonna die. Yeah."

Kathy took another breath and let it out slowly. "I'm gonna find a broom," she said. "Can you, um, help Olivia with the couch?"

Elliot nodded as Kathy walked toward the kitchen, looking in boxes for the head to the broom. He turned, his lip between his teeth, and he looked at Olivia. "Why did you lie to her?"

"Why did you tell her the truth?" she countered, running a hand through her hair.

He walked toward her and the plastic crinkled beneath him as he sat beside her. He took her hand, stroking his thumb over her knuckles. "We're helping her move, Liv. Obviously, she's not bitter. I don't have a reason to lie to her anymore. I think it's better that she knows the truth. It'll prove to her that I'm not trying to keep it from her anymore. Not that I ever was. If she would have asked me, I would have told her."

She tilted her head and she gave his hand a squeeze. "Why?" she whispered. "Why would you give up your whole life…"

"Because I am a mess without you," he interrupted. "And that must mean that you are a much bigger part of my life than either of us had planned on you being. I don't know what to do about work, I don't know what to say to the kids, and I don't know how to keep you from running other than by using excessive amounts of force and my killer smile, but I do know that I love you. That's gotta be enough to work on this." He gripped her hand tighter and said, "I love you."

She pressed her lips together, hearing his words hit her ears. He said he loved her, twice. Saying it was a habit he was letting get the best of him. She took a shallow breath and she moved.

He leaned closer to her, a small smile at his lips, but a clearing throat broke them apart. He smirked at Kathy, then turned back to Olivia. "Kiss me," he demanded softly.

She blinked, but she kissed him, feeling awkward in front of Kathy, but knowing better than to say no to him.

Elliot moaned a bit, and when he pulled away from her he turned his head and saw Kathy, sweeping up the broken dish, looking at them. He smiled at her. "This place is really nice."

She smiled back at him, sweeping the bits into a dustpan. "Yeah. And it's close, so the kids can always…"

"Every other week, right?" he interrupted. "And yeah. They can always come and go between houses whenever they want." He looked back at Olivia, saw her looking at a spot on the wall, and he leaned over to her. "What are you doing?"

"Huh?" she asked, snapping her head toward him.

He furrowed his brow. "Did something happen in Boston? You…you're different."

She scoffed. "A lot happened in Boston. Seven months away from everything that matters changes a person, Elliot. Especially when every time I closed my eyes I'd see…" she stopped talking, then looked at Kathy. "You need us to help you with the bedroom?"

"No," Kathy said, shaking her head. "No, you guys can go. Thanks for this, really. I know it was your day off, and…"

"Anytime, Kathy," Elliot said, standing. "I mean that."

Kathy nodded at him, trying to smile. "I'll have the kids over tomorrow night. It's, uh, your week."

He nodded and took hold of Olivia's hand again, pulling her toward the door as he said a hurried goodbye to Kathy. He tugged her toward the driveway, opened the passenger side door for her, and slammed it shut. When he got into the driver's side of the truck, he leaned over the console and kissed her, both hands holding her face tightly.

She moaned against his lips, her hands pressing against his chest, and despite the partial desire to push him away, she found her fingers curling around the material of his shirt and pulling him closer to her. She was under his spell, and it made her mind foggy.

He pulled away and as he panted, he said, "God, I love kissing you."

She chuckled, breathing rapidly, and loosened her grip on his shirt. "Yeah, well, I'm not complaining."

He gripped her wrists. "You can admit it, you know. That you need me, want me. You can let yourself feel it, Liv. I promise you, I won't…"

"Shit," she hissed, pulling her hands away from him. "You had to go there."

He sighed and ran a hand down his face. "I just think you'll feel better if you say it. It'll be easier for you to…be with me." He took her hand again and said, "You're my safety zone, Liv. Wherever I am, whatever I do…even when I was with Kathy, I was coming home to you. You give me strength, hope, and I need you more than I have ever needed anyone." He shrugged and said, "See, it's not that hard to…"

"Fine, you wanna hear it?" she said loudly. "I love you. I love you, and I want you more than you could possibly understand. I need you like I need air, and you mean more to me than anyone ever has." She folded her arms and slumped back in her seat. "And it's the most horrifying feeling in the world, knowing that if I lose you…"

"Seven months apart," he interjected softly. "You came back and I was still here, still yours. I've always been here, haven't I?"

She took a breath and looked into his eyes, and she saw salvation. She saw home. She saw everything he'd described and more. "Yeah, you have," she said.

He smiled and started the truck, and he kissed her again. "I'm always gonna be here, always with you." He narrowed his eyes and his voice deepened. "Tell me you understand."

She nodded once. "I understand," she said, her heart pounding and a low throb starting between her legs. He was dominant, possessive, demanding, but it was always so deeply connected to love and passion that it never bothered her. "I know."

He gave her a curt nod, then pulled out of the driveway. He headed for her apartment, and he thought of the many ways he'd make sure she knew how serious he was about her when they got there. He turned left, and the car jolted hard as someone hit them from behind.

"Jesus," Olivia spat.

Elliot moaned, then cursed. "You okay?"

She nodded, pulling on the seatbelt that had prevented her from flying through the windshield. "Are you?"

He was silent, looking up into the review mirror, watching the driver behind them peel away. He mumbled the license plate number to himself, memorizing it. If he'd only checked the mirror before the crash, he would have seen the driver's face and headed in another direction. Toward the station.

**A/N: Who hit them? Why? Well, I'd tell you, but it's complicated. Review?**


	9. Capitulation

**A/N: **_**Capitulation**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to TStabler**

"It's a nice car," Olivia said, walking beside Elliot through the precinct doors.

"It's not my car," he snapped, shaking his head. "My car is in the shop, because your psycho ex-boyfriend took out my whole fucking trunk."

She rolled her eyes. "Blame me, go ahead."

"I didn't blame you," he said. "I blamed the asshole you used to date, not you." He punched the call button for the elevator and looked at her with dark, narrow eyes. "Granted, you're the reason he drove into my car…"

"Oh, fuck you," she spat, folding her arms as the doors opened.

He let out a low chuckle as he followed her onto the lift. "You did that already. Twice last night," he said, his teeth scraping over his bottom lip. He leaned in close to her and dropped his head, and he whispered into her ear. "Once this morning." He let his right hand slide down her body, over her thigh, up to the hot juncture between her legs. "You're still wet, aren't you? You still feel me, right here, don't you?"

She shuddered as her head turned toward his. She looked at him, her lips parted just a bit and she said, "Yes." She grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away fast. "Not here, Elliot."

His eyes flickered. Anger, lust, intrigue, love. "You just…you really just said that." He chuckled again and kissed her softly, his hand pulling itself free from hers and slipping back between her legs. He rubbed her hard and slow as his kiss deepened, but he pulled away suddenly when the elevator dinged.

She shot him an irritated look, shook her head, and walked through the sliding doors. "Not here," she repeated , eyeing him over her shoulder.

He sighed and followed her toward the squad room, understanding that she still felt the need to keep it out of work. He, however, was beyond caring. He tossed the keys to his rental car on his desk, dropped his suit jacket over the back of his chair, and sat down with a short huff.

Fin looked at him with a crooked eyebrow and tilted head. "You all right?"

Elliot nodded, running a hand down his face. "Fine," he said. "Just thinking about how I'm supposed to get my kids to soccer games and softball games and dance classes in the little, red piece of shit the dealer gave me."

Olivia turned her head toward him and gave him an annoyed face. "Go back," she said. "Ask for an SUV if you're so…"

"Hey!" Munch yelled. "You two have work to do."

Elliot shot a glare over his shoulder. "Any word on when Cragen's coming back?"

Munch pursed his lips together and folded his arms as Elliot laughed at him. "Funny," he said. "The man had a heart attack, he's gonna be out for a while."

Olivia ran a hand through her hair. "I still haven't gone to see him," she said, her eyes closing.

Fin slapped her on the back once. "No worries, Baby-Girl. He knows you're back, and he knows you're busy. If you want, I can…"

"I'll take you," Elliot offered, cutting Fin off. "Lunch. We'll go."

Fin narrowed his eyes. "You haven't gone to see him at all either, why the…"

"I said I'd take her, Fin," Elliot snapped. "Drop it."

Fin stared at him, wondering why his attitude hadn't changed since Olivia had been home. He always thought Elliot would cheer up, snap out of the funk he'd been in. But lately, he seemed almost worse, even more arrogant and aggressive than he'd ever been, and Olivia didn't seem to mind. He was confused.

Munch cleared his throat, then, and said, "Are you ready to get some actual work done, yet? "What have we got?" Olivia asked, walking toward Munch.

Munch handed her two slips of paper, one pink and one yellow, and he watched her reaction intently. "Sorry, Benson," he said, shaking his head. "I know it's early, but…"

"But it's the job, right?" she said, scraping her teeth over her bottom lip. She looked down at the papers, on with the address and one with the names of the victims. "You ready?" she asked, turning toward Elliot.

Elliot nodded, rising from his seat, and he noticed the look in her eyes that popped through every once in a while. The look that told him she had come home different, changed. He scooped up his keys, grabbed his jacket, and nudged her out of the room. "Hey," he whispered to her, guiding her not to the elevator, but to the stairs. "We need to talk."

She screwed her face up at him, but followed him down the steps. "About what?"

"What happened to you?" he asked. "I know I've been pushy, I've been controlling, demanding, but, Liv…I expected you to fight me on all of it."

She sighed as they walked further down the stairs. "El, that's the thing. I'm tired of fighting. I'm really sick of being so in control of everything, tired of ignoring what I'm really feeling because it's not right, and…"

"Are we talking about me?" he asked, pushing the door to the ground floor open.

She rolled her eyes and heaved another harsh sigh. "Isn't that what you were talking about?" she questioned. She stopped and turned to him. She raised one hand and slid her fingers over his silk tie, tugging lightly. "You. Yes. The night I left…what happened up in the cribs, El, that…you took the last bit of fight I had left in me."

"I did…what?" he asked, swallowing back hard as her fingers trailed over his chest.

She laughed, softly and bitterly. "Every night, when I went to bed, I would feel you. Your hands, your lips, your body…and no matter what I did, no matter what I tried to tell myself, I knew that…" She shook her head and dropped her hands. "You were all I wanted, and I thought that I would never have you again, so I convinced myself that all we would ever have was that one night."

He gave a hard chuckle and asked, "Why would you possibly…"

"Now that I know I still have you," she interrupted, turning from him to walk through the lobby, "I don't wanna waste time fighting. You were in total control of this since the night I left, and I…I just thought it would be easy if…"

He grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him, stopping her words. "This has never been easy," he said. "This, between us, has never been simple. It's always been this massively complicated relationship, and I guess…I didn't want to spend any more time thinking 'what if' or just imagining what it would be like to be with you the way I really wanted."

She blinked and finally met his eyes. "I wanted it, to, El. You know that."

He leaned closer to her and whispered, "I know. But I know what I'm like, and I know that you're not…you're not usually like this. If there's ever a moment you don't want…"

"There won't be," she said, cutting him off.

"If there is," he continued, "Baby, I don't ever want to hurt you. You have to understand that I…"

She kissed him fast, stopping him. "I know," she said. She brushed a finger over his lips and spun around, leading him out of the precinct and into the heart of another harrowing case. She took a deep breath as she got into the car and looked at her watch. In just a few hours, she would come face to face with her captain, and she would have to tell him.

She would have to tell him she broke a promise she'd made to him long ago, and she'd have to tell him she did it willingly.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, they had the crime scene secured and searched, evidence was collected, and they were leaving the morgue, having just talked to Melinda Warner about their two young victims. "Hey," he said softly, getting into the driver's seat. "You ran out of there like a bat outta hell."<p>

"She pissed me off," she spat, her leg bouncing.

He moved his hand to her knee, trying to stop the shaking. "I got that, but why?"

She shook her head and said, "You heard what she was saying in there. The way she talked to me, to you…what she said about the vic…God, it's like she lost every ounce of humanity she had."

He smoothed his hand up her leg, slowly, and he watched her face soften at his touch. "You need to relax. Just let it go."

She scoffed. "She called you incompetent because you were defending the girl," she said. "She told you that the vic probably had it coming! Who the hell does that?" she yelled, her anger growing.

"Shh," he soothed. "Calm down." His hand was on her pants button now. He was twisting his fingers, undoing it.

She grabbed his hand, then, and raised an eyebrow. "What the hell are you…"

"You need this," he told her, his tone serious. "Come here," he said, pulling her toward him a bit and shifting his own body closer to hers.

She felt a chill run up her spine as his hot breath hit her ear, her eyes closed and she moaned lightly, feeling his hand slipping into her unzipped pants. "El, what are you…"

"Making you cum," he whispered, before nipping at her ear lobe. He grunted as he slipped her panties to the side and pushed a finger into her tight heat. "God, baby," he said, "You feel so fucking good."

Her body rolled, a full wave powered through her. "El, why are you…"

"You're pissed off, you're upset, we have work to do," he whispered, still running his tongue around her ear. "You need to calm down, let go off all this tension, let me make it happen." He latched onto her neck, biting and sucking, and he pushed another thick finger into her.

"Fuck, Elliot," she seethed, her back arching sharply. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her hands were gripping him tight, and she moaned. "Shit," she cursed.

He kissed her neck, nipped at the skin behind her ear, and twisted his fingers. "As hot as you are when you're pissed," he mumbled to her, "I need you clear-headed right now. Understand?"

She nodded, digging her nails into his back. "Yes," she said, both an answer and a moan. "Oh, God, El, yes." She rolled her hips into his hand, trying to make him move harder, faster.

He chuckled. "Oh, you like that?" he cooed. He moved his thumb over her clit, biting his lip and moaning as he watched her react. "Yeah, you do," he said.

She moaned and dropped her head, scratching down his back. "More," she demanded. "Oh, El, more."

He grunted as he tried to get closer to her, and with his free hand, he grabbed her right wrist and pulled it off of his back. "Baby," he said, tugging her hand down. He placed her hand over the bulge of his pants, and he moaned when she stroked it. "Fuck, yeah," he hissed, moving his thumb over her clit faster.

She moaned as he slammed his lips into hers, kissing him back madly as her fingers wrapped around his large erection. She stroked him faster through his pants as she felt his fingers thrusting into her. "Oh, God," she whined against his lips. She knew, now, that she would always give into him, let him own her, work her. And she knew, now, that she didn't have a problem with it.

What she didn't realize, what she never even thought, was that Elliot was the submissive one, giving in to her needs and desires, knowing what she wanted, and making sure she got it. She didn't realize their relationship was more complex now.

She also didn't realize that, soon, they would have to face it, and make a decision that would change everything.

**A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates, and for this one being short and kind of awful. Someone very close to me passed away, and I have not felt like writing at all. I don't know when my next update will be, but I promise, as soon as I feel able, I will update. 3 God Bless.**


	10. Absolution

**A/N: **_**Absolution**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. Story belongs to TStabler**

Elliot held his breath and Olivia's hand as he pulled her through the sterile hallway of Mercy General's recovery wing. He stopped in front of Cragen's door, closed his eyes, and turned the knob.

Cragen, in the bed, sat up a bit straighter when he saw Elliot. "What the hell are you…Olivia?"

Olivia swallowed back the urge to cry as she saw her strong, fatherly captain looking so weak and pale. "Hey, Cap," she said, trying to smile.

Cragen gave her the biggest smile he could muster. "Welcome home," he said. "We were all so worried about you, out there with…"

"I'm fine," she said, walking toward him, letting Elliot's hand drop out of hers. She hoped Cragen didn't notice, and she took a breath as she asked, "How did this happen?"

Cragen sighed as he watched Olivia's fingers graze over the thin plastic tube feeding into his arm. "You know," he said with a shrug. "I ate too many burgers, didn't hit the gym enough, and I blew one gasket too many, send my blood pressure skyrocketing…"

"What could have possibly made you that angry?" she asked, shaking her head. Then she narrowed her eyes and turned over her shoulder. "You," she said softly to Elliot.

Elliot raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh, right," he spat. "You have real nerve, just assuming…"

"Elliot," Cragen warned, a stern tone in his voice.

Elliot sighed, then, sitting in a white chair near the window. "I didn't cause this," he defended. "Were we yelling? Yes. Did the man have a heart attack while I was in his office? Yes. But I am not the reason he's here."

Olivia shook her head and let out a small laugh. She knew by his defensive tone, he felt guilty. He felt responsible for this. "What were you fighting about?" she asked, looking from him to Cragen.

Both men were silent as they glared at each other. Olivia waited, still smiling slightly, then her lips flattened out. Realization hit her. "You were…me?"

Elliot scoffed. "Captain Cragen was very unhappy with my performance without you," he said sarcastically. "He wanted an explanation, I gave him one, and his reaction was…pretty fucking severe."

"What did you say?" she asked, almost forgetting that Cragen was right next to her. She was met with more silence, she saw him bite his lip and look away from her. "Elliot, what did you…"

"I told him I couldn't work without you!" he snapped. "Then I told him I couldn't eat, or sleep without you either, and he…and he gave me some advice…and I told him I couldn't take it. Then he yelled at me, I yelled at him, he yelled some more, then he grabbed his arm and now…here he is." He gestured to the bed, earning a tough look form Cragen.

Olivia shook her head, she ran her hand through her hair and looked back at Cragen. She was silent for a moment, sharing an understanding look with him. She let her lips curl just a bit and she said, "You always said he'd be death of you."

Cragen chuckled, shaking his head. "Leave it to you, Benson, to make light of a situation like this," he said.

"Someone has to keep the mood light," she argued with a shrug. "We get enough heavy at work." She straightened her head and tapped his shoulder lightly. "Speaking of work, when are you coming back? They give you a definite date when you can get out of here and get back behind your desk?"

Cragen was quiet. He looked away from her and began to pick at the crust of the bread on his sandwich.

"You are…you are coming back, aren't you?" she asked, sounding almost scared. "Cap?"

"I don't know, Olivia," Cragen finally said, though he wasn't looking at her. "I really don't…I just don't know." He shook his head and let out another sigh. "Probably not."

It felt like being alone in Boston all over again. Her lungs stopped working, her heart was working double-time, she felt half-dead. "What?" was all she could get out.

"Olivia, this just proved what I've been afraid of for years," Cragen said. "I can't do this anymore, my heart can't take it. Literally." He looked at Elliot and said, "And figuratively."

Elliot scoffed. "Things have changed since we talked, Cap," he said, staring at a bright spot on the white tiled floor. "Maybe I ended up taking your advice after all."

Cragen blinked. "Excuse me?"

Elliot forced himself to look at Cragen. His eyes were serious, he smile flat and almost proud. "What you told me I had to do? Maybe I did it."

Cragen looked at Olivia, a slow smile spread across his face, then he looked back at Elliot. "Really? You're not just saying this to get me to come back to the unit?"

"I'm not giving you details," Elliot said, chuckling. "But things with us are more, um, complicated now." He looked at Olivia and said, "In a good way, I think."

Cragen took a bite out of his sandwich, chewed silently, and swallowed. "So you're good, then? You're not…"

"He's still impossible," Olivia said, again trying to lighten things up and get the focus off of her. "Moody, irritable, violent. Same old Stabler."

"No," Elliot said, shaking his head. "I'm different now."

She turned to look at him, they held each other's gaze for a long moment, then she cleared her throat and looked back at Cragen. "Think about coming back," she whispered to him. "I don't know how much more of Captain Munch I can take, and we need you," she told him. She dropped her head a bit and said, "I need you."

Cragen gave her hand a squeeze and nodded. "I'll think about it," he said. "And Elliot?"

Elliot looked up at him. "Yeah?"

"You were right, before," Cragen said. "You didn't do this."

The weight rose off of Elliot's shoulders, then, and he sighed, giving his captain a nod. He got out of the chair and said, "We gotta go."

"Yeah," Cragen said with a soft smile. He watched Olivia get up, he waved to them as they walked out of his room, and he closed his eyes. He had a lot to think about now.

* * *

><p>"What the hell was that about?" Olivia whispered harshly as they walked back down the hallway.<p>

Elliot chuckled as he pushed the doors open. "You were Cragen's favorite topic of conversation when you were gone," he told her. "The day he had his heart attack…he was yelling at me because I wasn't planning on ever telling you that…you know."

She pulled his arm, stopping him from walking. "You told him? About us?" She tugged harder on his wrist and led him into a dark corner just outside the building.

"No, I didn't, he just figured it out," he said, his eyes narrowing as he yanked his arm back. "And he told me if I was smart, I'd do something about it before…before I lost you for good." He leaned closer to her. "Liv, he told me you were thinking of staying there. Not coming back." He ran his hand down her arm, then linked his fingers with hers.

She looked into his eyes and said, "I was."

He shook his head. "That's why…that's why Cragen was yelling at me that day. I told him…I told him it would be easier if you stayed," he admitted. "He knew I didn't mean it."

"You said the same thing to me when I came home," she told him. "Well, after you barged into my apartment and attacked me."

He chuckled. "Yeah," he said. "Well, I was still confused. Not about my feelings for you, I was always sure about that, just…what to do about them." He sighed again and squeezed her hand harder. "I was in the middle of a divorce, I was debating leaving the unit. And you came home. You sent my world spinning in the complete opposite direction twice as fast as it should have."

"Sorry about that," she said, hiding a smirk.

He laughed. "Yeah, like hell you are," he said, dragging his lips lightly over the skin of her cheek. "You're not sorry about a damned thing." His breath hit her neck as he moved downward, and he nipped at her thin, tender flesh.

She gave a soft moan, then realized where they were. She pushed him away and shook her head. "We're still on the clock, El," she whispered.

"I don't care," he mumbled, his teeth scraping along the expanse of skin just above her collar. "You said no to me twice already, don't push your luck," he teased with a soft bite.

Her moan was a bit louder this time; her eyes had fluttered closed and she was letting the feeling of his teeth on her body resonate. "Bastard," she groaned.

He chuckled again, and he couldn't stop the soft moan that escaped as he felt her hands moving up his back, under his jacket and shirt. When her nails scraped along his spine he shivered and rolled his hips into her, pressing her more firmly against the wall. "Christ," he hissed, moving his hands up to her chest. "You really…"

"El," she said, looking at him. "Stop for a second."

He raised an eyebrow, hearing something in her voice that meant she was serious. He stopped. "What is it? What did I do?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, I just…I need to know you forgive me," she told him, "before this gets any more complicated than it already is." She ran a hand down his back again, softly snaking it back up. "Dean's gone completely crazy, Kathy's trying to be my best friend, the kids want me to move in with you. I just…before this all escalates, I need you to forgive me."

"For what?" he asked, confused, as he kissed her forehead.

She closed her eyes and dropped her head further into his kiss. "For leaving," she said. "I should have stayed until…I should have made you talk to me."

He shook his head again. "No, I should have said something," he told her. "If anyone needs to apologize, it's me. I shouldn't have just let you leave like that." He tilted his head and said, "So we were both wrong. I forgive you if you forgive me."

She stared at him for a moment. And when she crashed her lips into his and pulled him flush against her, losing herself in him and the moment as she so often did lately, she gave him what he needed, and she got what she desperately wanted.

Absolution.

**A/N: It gets a bit more complicated when Dean returns with a check and a grudge, and someone comes looking for Elliot, but who? Review?**


	11. Unison

**A/N: **_**Unison**_

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf own SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

It was Olivia's head that popped up first at the sound of his voice, her eyes that widened and then narrowed first, her temper that flared first. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Dean twitched, then smirked as he took a step forward. "My lawyer suggestion I drop this off in person." He waved a check in the air like a small flag, taking another step toward her. "Do you forgive me?"

"For following me home from work, following me to Kathy's house, following me back from there, and slamming into Elliot's car?" she asked, a sarcastic and accusing tone in her voice. "Let me think about it for a second..." she doesn't really wait at all. "No."

"Oh, come on, Olivia!" he barks, rolling his eyes. "You know you would have been just as jealous. Besides, I know now that what was between you to was just..."

"Porter," Elliot interrupts, his voice sounding gravelly, almost like a growl, "You have three seconds to drop the check and get out of here before I so something that I...well, I wouldn't regret it, but we're in the middle of a police station, so it would be a bad idea."

"Is that a threat?" Dean asked, turning around.

Elliot's jaw tightened. "Yeah." He nodded once and took a menacing step forward. "I always follow through on my threats."

Dean tilted his head. "You're still together?"

Elliot chuckled. "Even if we weren't, I wouldn't be nice to you. Give me the check and get out, and the next time you want to talk to her, go through our lawyer."

"Oh," Dean scoffed, "You have a lawyer? Together?" He turned to look back at Olivia with a scowl on his face. "You share a lawyer with this asshole?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "We've had the same lawyer for years," she griped. "And since we were both in the car, it's the same case. We filed the claim together, so you..."

"Right," Dean snapped. "Whatever." He thrust the check into Olivia's palm. "You're running out of time, Olivia. I'm only gonna wait for this to fail for so long, then you're gonna lose your chance to come back to me."

Olivia folded her arms again, the check folded in her left hand. "Oh, darn," she said dryly. "Whatever shall I do, then?"

Dean scoffed, turned and made a face at Elliot, and said, "It might be good for you to know that I saw your wife out with someone last night."

"Ex-wife," Elliot corrected. "And I don't care what she does."

"You should care," Dean said with a newly grown smirk. "She was with Ed."

Elliot's face fell. "Tucker?"

Dean chuckled. "Yeah," he said. Then he turned and said, "Guess he's finally over you, Olivia."

Olivia made a small gagging noise. "Thank God for that," she mumbled. She looked up at Elliot just as Dean began to whistle in victory and leave the squad room. "You okay?" she asked.

Elliot nodded, then asked, "Since when does Tucker have a thing for you?"

She rolled her eyes and chuckled as she handed him the check Dean had given her. "You know," she said. "It wasn't a reciprocated thing, obviously, and he hated you a bit more because I guess he knew...he knew that..."

"Right," he interrupted. "Can we just get back to work?"

Munch, leaning on Fin's desk, made a relived noise. "Thank you! I was just gonna suggest that myself."

The room broke out into soft laughter, and Olivia sat down in her chair. She had a bad feeling that the short visit from Dean Porter, and everything he said, had somehow shifted Elliot's mood and his emotions.

It was a feeling she hated with everything she had, but one she just couldn't shake.

* * *

><p>"Quiet," he mumbled, lifting the icy bottle of beer to his lips. He sipped and glanced at Olivia, quirking an eyebrow up as he looked across the couch.<p>

She shrugged, ran a hand through her hair, and said, "Your kids are with Kathy for the weekend."

"I meant that you're being quiet." He sipped his beer again, put the bottle down, and leaned over her. He dropped his lips to her neck and smirked. "Let's see if I can get you to make some noise," he chuckled.

Olivia, though, backed away from him and raised an eyebrow. "Really? You're just gonna jump right to..."

He sighed loudly, frustrated and exhausted, and said, "Well, I don't really want you to say what I know you're thinking, so...yeah, sex seemed like the better option."

She scoffed. "What do you think I..."

"I don't care, Liv," he snapped, looking at her sternly. "I don't care that she's dating, and I don't care that it's Tucker. Hell, I don't even know if it's true. You know Porter could have just said it, thinking it would bother the fuck out of me. But it doesn't. What bothers me is that you think it bothers me."

She lowered her eyes and shrugged again. "She was your wife, and he's our boss, technically. You have a right to be bothered."

He moved an arm, cupped her chin with his hand, and whispered, "It would only bother me if it was you. What does that tell you?"

She smiled softly and nodded, letting go of the tension that had built itself up in her neck. "I just...I need to know if we're on the same page here, El."

"Mine," he whispered, kissing her lips gently. "You're mine." He wrapped his other hand around her neck and pulled her close to him. "This, you and me, is it. Endgame." He squeezed the back of her neck softly, working away the last vestiges of tension. "Is that the page you're on?"

She kissed him gently and nodded. "Pretty much," she whispered, rolling into his touch, as if begging him to squeeze just a bit harder.

He smirked and gripped her neck a bit tighter, clenching his rough and strong and releasing, a pulse-like rhythm. "Baby," he whispered, looking into her eyes, "Whatever you want, whatever you need, you have to know that I want and need the same things. Always."

She said nothing as her head dropped forward slightly and her lips touched his. She let him take the reins, let him control the kiss, the depth and force, the speed and movement. It became one of the slowest, roughest kisses they'd ever shared in a matter of seconds.

He slipped his hands down her body, wrapped them around her waist, and he left her into his lap. He kept one hand splayed on her back as the other reached for her wrist. Still kissing her, slow and hard, he moved her hand down to his belt buckle, silently demanding she get to work.

She moaned into their kiss as she pulled the strap of black leather through the metal clasp. He was working just as fast on her black slacks, she felt him tugging and pulling, and he nipped at his bottom lip as she rolled her body against his.

He pressed into her as he got his hand into her loosened pants, and he struggled to get them low over her hips without breaking his kiss. "Liv," he moaned. "Fuck, Liv, I need you..."

She nodded as she kissed him deeper, shutting him up. She lifted her hips a bit, and she realized she could feel his heart beat against her chest. It was keeping the same staccato rhythm as hers. Her moment of peace was interrupted, though, when he moved.

Pulling her up with him, he took large steps toward his bedroom. He tossed her onto the bed, breaking apart from her for the first time, and he gave her a predatory look as he pulled his tie and shirt off, throwing them both to the floor.

Her breath hitched. He was is in a forceful and demanding mood, and she was in no mood to fight, so he would get what he wanted tonight. No matter how he wanted it.

He yanked down his black pants and boxers in one hard tug, and moved toward her, naked and fierce-looking. He got onto his knees and pawed over her with his hands, stalking toward her like a panther. "Shirt," he hissed. "Off."

She choked a bit, but moved fast, pulling her shirt over her head and dropping it off to the side. "El?"

He grinned like a hungry fox. With one hand, he pulled her pants down the rest of the way. He chuckled, then, looking down, and he crawled just a bit higher before bending his head and licking, one long swipe, up her exposed slit.

"Jesus," she whispered, her head dropping back. Her hands flew to the back of his head as her eyes drifted shut, but she popped them open when she felt Elliot swat her hands away.

He looked up and shook his head. "Don't touch me," he barked. "Not yet."

She gave him a cockeyed look, but as he suckled over her clit hard, she let out a soft growl and gripped the sheets beneath her instead of his head. "Elliot," she ground out, almost a whine.

He laughed to himself as he worked her over, moving his tongue up and down the wet flesh before him, stopping to poke the tip of it into her waiting opening, and to suck and gnaw at her clit. He knew he was driving her mad, making her crazy, and he knew she loved it as much as he did.

She squeezed her eyes shut tight and was mere moments away from exploding, when he stopped. She opened her eyes, shocked, and stared at him. He looked proud, he looked smug, and he looked almost starved.

"You taste..." he began, moving up her body further, "Amazing." He kissed her, hard and fast, deep and rough, making sure she could taste herself on his lips and tongue, and she moaned in response, gripping his back with her fingers and hands.

He moaned, then, too, and he slowed his kiss. He nudged her legs opened further with his knee, and he sunk into her, slowly pushing inside of her.

Their moans were low and soft, and in perfect sync they began to move. Changing from manic and possessive to slow and romantic, they lost themselves in each other, and they moved and loved as they did everything else.

In perfect unison.

**A/N: The kids come back from Kathy's with some news, and it might not be as easy to handle as Elliot claims. Review? **


	12. Interruption

**A/N:**_**Interruption**_

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf own SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

Her eyes flickered. Jealousy. Anger. Pain. "What?" she asked, staring at the oldest child, who was gripping the handles of a duffle bag tightly.

Maureen took another step, inching into the living room and she took a deep breath. She nodded. "Mom says it's Dad's, but we all know it's been way too long since they've..."

"I don't need the visual, Mo," Dickie snapped from his spot on the couch. He shook his head and said, "I don't get it. They've only been legally seperated for a few weeks. The divorce isn't even final. How could she..."

"You don't think it's really Dad's, do you?" Lizzie, the youngest and most curious Stabler asked, worried.

Olivia, the anger and hurt still shining in her eyes, bit her bottom lip. "No," she said. "I know, legally, it's only been a few weeks, but your father and mother haven't even spoken in months. There's no way..."

"That's what I said," Maureen interrupted. "Mom's insisting, though. She said something about calling the lawyer and..."

"She's not calling anyone." His voice was stern, forceful. He slammed the door behind him and held up a yellow sheet of paper.

Olivia looked at him, noticing his left sleeve rolled up and a small bandage on his upper arm. "What did you do?"

"You think I was really just gonna sit here and let this happen?" he snapped. His nostrils flared as he tossed his keys onto the table. "As soon as Katie called me, I left work and went to see Trevor. He told me a sure fire way to end this shit was to get a paternity test. He called her, and bam. I had a needle in my arm in seconds."

Lizzie scrunched her brows. "But don't you have to wait for..."

"Your mother claims she's four months pregnant," Elliot interjected. "She's down there right now, getting an amneo..."

"You're making her go through that?" Olivia asked, cutting him off, shocked at him.

He scoffed and folded his arms. "What, you'd rather me sit by and wait five months to find out if the kid has blue eyes?" His eyes narrowed, then, and he chuckled bitterly. "I was with you four moths ago. You came back five months ago, and do I have to remind you what happened the very night you came back?"

Olivia felt the red tinge creep up her cheeks and she shook her head. "I just think...the whole process is invasive and she should have been given some time to prepare for..."

"She didn't give me any prep time," he barked. "She could have told me months ago if it was really my child, right? Odds are, she told the father, he doesn't care, and she's feeling rejected and is crawling back to the only person in the world who would take responsibility without asking questions."

Maureen raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly. "But you are asking questions."

"Ya know," Elliot began, taking a breath and calming a bit, "If Liv hadn't come back that night, and this happened, I probably wouldn't be challenging this." He sat down on the couch, scooting closer to Olivia. He wrapped an arm around her and whispered, "I love you. You know that this isn't..."

"I know," she whispered back to him, with a small smile. "I just don't think this is fair. To either of you."

The phone rang, then, interrupting her. Elliot reached for it fast, and answered with a quick, "Stabler residence."

Olivia and the kids watched as his face brightened, then fell, then they heard him sigh.

"Thank you," he said with a nod. "Yes, that's right. Um...soon, Doc, but not too soon. We're not ready for...yeah." He laughed and said goodbye, then hung up the phone.

"Well?" Maureen pestered, bouncing in her seat.

"That was Doctor Vicars," he replied.

Dickie rolled his eyes. "We got that much, Dad. What did he say?"

"Am I gonna be a big sister?" Lizzie asked, though it sounded like a whine.

Elliot took another breath. "Not today," he said with a smirk. "The technician went after her with the prod and she bolted up, said she knew it wasn't mine, and begged him not to do the test."

Olivia's eyes dropped and she folded her arms. "You knew she would do that."

"Of course I did," Elliot said. "She was my wife, if anyone knows how terrified she is of needles it's me. Especially a needle tat big going near her baby. I knew she'd cave before taking that big of a risk."

Dickie laughed. "You're such an..."

"Amazing father," Maureen said, smacking Dickie in the arm. "Come on." She moved toward the stairs and said, "We have to unpack and I have a report due tomorrow that I haven't even started."

The kids groaned, but they knew Maureen was right. They followed her up the stairs to their rooms, and once they were out of view, Olivia fell into Elliot's arms.

"Hey," he whispered, holding her close, "Hey, Liv, don't do this."

She nodded and sat up a bit. "I just...I knew you didn't...that it wasn't...but I was so scared. Why would she..."

"Because I've done it before, ya know? The minute she said she was pregnant with Maureen, I put a ring on her finger and stuck with her through it all. We jumped every hurdle life threw at us."

"Not every one," she said, rolling her eyes.

He laughed and kissed the end of her nose. "No, I jumped you all by myself." He growled and nipped at her neck. When she laughed, he looked at her. "You were not a problem to be overcome, Liv. You were a way out. A way for me to get my life back and be with someone because I wanted to be, not because I had to be."

"You make it sound a lot less wrong than it was," she said, making a face at him.

"It wasn't wrong," he whispered, rising off the sofa. "It wasn't, and it isn't, and it never will be." He kissed her, his lips trailing lightly over hers for a moment before hungrily gripping.

Shocked, she latched onto his arms and kissed him back with equal fervor and passion. She felt him tugging on her shirt, but didn't stop him. She lost herself in him and in the moment, and she moved with him when he turned and twisted.

He chuckled against her lips as he slipped a hand down into her pants, stroking two fingers along the curves of her body, the dips in her thighs, and her mound.

She moaned when she felt his fingers slip between the thin silk of her panties and her skin, and she jumped. "Kids," she hissed.

He groaned and dropped his forehead to hers. "Party pooper," he grumbled, slipping his fingers out from underneath her clothes. "Tonight," he whispered to her, "All night long."

She chuckled. "We have work in the morning."

"Your point?" he asked, kissing her. He sat up and pulled her into his lap, turning her around. "Ya know, if we're quiet, there's no reason for the kids to come down here anyway..." he trailed off as his fingers crept toward their vacated spot.

She moaned and shook her head. "Not here, El."

He laughed and lowered his voice. "You really need to learn...you don't get to do that." He slipped a finger into her and watched her body buck, her eyes close, and her lips part. He grinned and leaned up to kiss her, starting a slow rhythm with his finger.

She rocked into him, matching his beat, and their kiss deepened without losing its tenderness. She moaned when she felt another finger slip into her and she bit his lower lip in response.

He laughed and moved, sliding her down onto her back. He removed his fingers, brought them to his lips, and slowly sucked them clean. He gave her a wicked smile as he unclasped her pants and pulled them over her hips, watching her skin come into view. He bent his head, then, and went to work.

She bit her lip, turning one eye toward the stairs, and when she was sure no children were coming down, she let her eyes roll back and she feel into him again.

His lips felt like satin rolling across her skin. His tongue was rough and slick, sending her into a state of pure bliss. She gripped the small bit of hair on the back of his neck and she moaned softly, wondering how such an erotic act could feel so perfectly romantic.

He moaned, too, as his lips and tongue worked over her soft, wet, hot flesh. He splayed his palms over her toned stomach, caressing her skin with his fingertips. He felt her body rolling and he tasted her juices flowing more freely, he was bringing her closer and closer.

Something jolted him, though, and he bit hard on her clit before popping up.

Hands scrambled to find the throw on the back of the couch, arms flailed in an attempt to look normal and natural, and hearts pounded fiercely while trying to slow.

"What the hell?" he asked, looking up at the door that had slammed and startled him.

Kathy, a smoky glare in her eyes, folded her arms and shook her head. "Well, this is not how we usually spent our Sunday nights."

He struggled to breath and held in the violent urge to punch her. "What are you...how did you..."

"I knocked, but I guess you were too engrossed in...other things...to hear me." Kathy moved toward the middle of the room and glared down at Elliot. "I just came to tell you that your little stunt worked. I told the doctor and your lawyer the truth, and apparently it was cause for an expedited case. Your lawyer is requesting a rush on the paperwork," she explained, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes.

Elliot tilted his head. "You knew what I would do," he said, smirking. "And you knew that what you did was legal grounds for expedition."

She gave him a smirk right back. "Maybe," she said, moving back toward the door. "Goodbye, Elliot." She walked through the doors, and turned to look at him once more. "Lock this, huh?"  
>He smiled and shook his head as he heard the click of Kathy locking the door behind her.<p>

"Am I missing something?" Olivia asked, still breathless.

He kissed her and said, "I guess Kathy's still got a bit of Stabler in her. She knew. She wanted to rush the divorce. Things must be going good for her with Tucker."

"Yeah," Olivia said, kissing him. "They're going good for us."

He laughed and said, "When we aren't being interrupted, that is." He lowered his head and kissed her, long and slow, trying to pick up where they'd left off, and succeeding.

**A/N: Next: A new outlook on life and love for dear Olivia. Hope it doesn't complicate things. Sorry for the long wait. I was busy prepping my second novel, which is now available! I will try to update more now that it's out!**


	13. Revolution

**A/N: **_**Revolution**_

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf own SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

She rubbed her eyes as she poured her fourth cup of coffee. She lifted the mug to her lips with a grimace on her face, looked into the pool of dark, high-octane, sludge, and shrugged as she downed it.

Munch simply stared at her. "You feeling okay, Benson?"

She nodded, pouring yet another cup, and headed back to her desk. "I was up all night," she said. She gave Elliot a slightly evil glare and rolled her eyes when he chuckled and smirked back at her. "Asshole," she teased.

"Hey, I'm exhausted, too," he said with a roll of his neck. "Don't play the victim, here, Liv."

Munch looked at the two detectives, curious and aware. "You were together? What were you doing that's got you so..."

"Playing Scrabble," they answered together, not even looking at the aging man.

"Okay," Munch replied, rolling his head toward Fin. "I don't buy that. What do you think?"

"I think it was more like Twister," Fin cracked, chuckling. "You two gonna get some work done or what?"

Elliot scoffed and looked at him. "We're waiting for a call from Halloran, jackass. This case can't go anywhere without those finger..."

He was interrupted by the phone ringing on Olivia's desk. He watched as she picked it up, expecting it to be someone in the lab. He watched her face fall, though, as she listened. He leaned closer, an attempt to hear the voice on the other end.

"Oh," she said, turning her head from him. "Well, thank you for calling. I'm sure...no it's...it's gonna be fine. Thank you. Goodbye."

"Who the hell was that?" Elliot asked before the phone was back in its cradle.

She looked up at him. "Tucker," she said coldly. "I asked him to call if...when he heard if Cragen was coming back."

"And?" Munch asked, hopeful, though part of him was prepared for the possibility of being the captain for quite a long time.

Olivia simply shook her head. "He, uh, he didn't show up to his final...he's not cleared for active..."

"Oh." Fin shook his head and slunk in his chair. "Oh, wow. I never thought..."

"None of us did," Elliot said. "We all thought...we thought he'd be coming back." He looked at Olivia, knowing her connection to the man, and he said, "We'll go see him later. Try to talk him out of..."

"No," she interrupted, shaking her head. "He made a choice, Elliot. We should just...respect that. He obviously isn't coming back for a reason, and it's...it's gonna be okay. We've got more important things to worry about right now, like whose hands were all over that tire iron."

Elliot watched, puzzled, as she took a gulp of her coffee. Something was different about her, he just couldn't stare at her long enough to decide what it was while they were at work. "Okay," he shrugged, and he picked up his own phone, dialing down to the lab to move their case along.

* * *

><p>"You okay?" Elliot asked, looking at her from over his plate. He watched as she twirled the spaghetti around her fork, not looking up, not looking at her dish, not looking anywhere.<p>

She hummed and nodded slightly. "Fine," she said. "Why?"

He dropped his fork and lifted his napkin, wiping the corners of his mouth before tossing it back to the table. "I know you," he seemed to snap at her without meaning to, "You're upset."

She picked her head up and looked at him. "I'm not upset, El. I'm tired. There's a difference."

He raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "You mean to tell me that you're not sitting there all silent and moody because you're in a funk about the cap..."

"No," she said, tilting her head, as if she is honestly surprised at the question. "El, the man had a heart-attack. I can see why he chose not to return to the place that caused it." She shook her head. "The way things are now, he'd be such a nervous wreck he'd drop dead in less than a week. I'm upset, I'm going to miss him so much, but I understand why he left."

Elliot snickered and moved his chair closer to her. "Then what's wrong? And don't say 'nothing' because..."

"You cooked," she interrupted. "After the fucking shitty night we've had, you drove us both back here, to the apartment you hate, and you made me dinner. I didn't even know I had enough food in here to even make dinner, and you whip up this fabulous meal...I just...it got to me."

"In a good way?" he asked, smirking. "Like, I get some kind of treat for being a good dog, kind of way?"

She laughed and raised her fork to her mouth. "Maybe," she said with a wink.

"No, really," he mumbled with a mouthful of pasta. "Got to you how?"

Putting her fork on her empty plate, she licked her lips. "You're amazing. In the last few months, you've made me...I don't know...change. I'm different."

He shook his head. "You're the same..."

"No, I'm not," she said, stopping him. "I'm not nervous about this, I'm not scared, I'm not trying to find some kind of flaw in you, or a reason to run. I'm not waking up in the morning afraid this is gonna end. For the first time in my life, I'm secure and comfortable with a relationship, and I know now that you...you really would do anything for me."

His silence spoke volumes, and in the quiet moment he leaned toward her and kissed her. His lips slanted over hers, his tongue grazed the thin line separating her lips, and he moaned softly as she cupped his face, encouraging him.

She let him press into her harder, and she didn't fight him when he lifted her off of her seat and pulled her backward toward her bedroom. She took in a sharp breath when he dropped her onto the bed, but his slow movements, so different from his usual roughness, calmed her instantly.

He carefully, almost delicately, unbuttoned her top. He painstakingly lowered the fabric off of her body, dropping soft kisses to each bit of newly revealed skin. His fingertips barely skimmed over her stomach, dropping to her waist to pull off her slacks, and his lips followed their trail.

Her heart pounded hard but slow, there was no reason to rush, no reason to panic. She felt every emotion in the world swim within her as she looked down and watched as he let his lips drag over the elastic of her panties before grabbing them lightly with his teeth and pulling them down.

As he came back up, though, Olivia smirked. She took him by surprise, taking advantage of his relaxed state, and flipped him over. She returned his every touch, stripping him slowly, kissing and grazing every bit of him with her lips and just the barest hint of teeth.

"Jesus, baby," he whispered, his eyes closing for a moment, then he felt her crawling upward, coming back up from the foot of the bed where she had dropped his boxers, and one eye opened to meet her smoky glare.

Her hands reached up to spread over his chest as her head bent lower. She heard him moan, felt him tense and shift, but she simply smiled. She opened her mouth and lowered her warm lips around his thick length. She heard him moan louder, and she sunk lower, taking him deeper.

"Oh, fucking..." his words stopped as his voice broke. He was in complete shock, his eyes glued to her gorgeous face. Her head bobbed slowly up and down, sliding off of him and back on. Her soft, silky hair fell loosely over his sensitive skin. "Oh, my God, Liv...you..."

She opened wider for him, sucking a bit as she pulled upward, and she heard him growl. A sound that ignited a fire low in her belly and made her physically ache for him.

He wound a hand through her hair and tugged, enough to be forceful yet not enough to hurt her, and he spat through gritted teeth, "Oh, fuck yeah." He pulled a bit harder, and it made her suck him harder. When she started humming, though, the vibrations from her mouth ripped through him and weakened him, leaving him weak and at her mercy. He whined a bit, then said a soft, "So fucking incredible."

She took pride in reducing him to mush. It made her feel powerful. She moved faster, her nails scraped down his chest to his pelvis and she teased the creases near his hips. She felt him buck up jerkily, and she almost gagged, but she closed her eyes and swallowed, the force coaxing another moan from Elliot's pressed together lips.

He felt something rush through him, then, and he pushed lightly on Olivia's shoulders. "You have to...honey, please...you can't...holy shit." He squeezed his eyes shut, praying she would stop but not really wanting her to at all.

Prayers were answered as she slipped her lips away, and she caught his surprised eyes as she moved her body over him, straddling him, keeping him just far enough away to keep from being inside of her. "Elliot," she whispered, leaning toward him.

"God, Liv, baby...anything..." he mumbled, lost in her dark eyes.

"Tonight," she said, then dropped a sweet kiss to his lips. "You don't get to say no to me."

His eyes flickered, he smirked, and he said, "No man in his right mind could possibly say no to you. Ever."

She kept her eyes on his, biting her lip and moaning his name as she sank down onto him, finally taking him into her and relieving the pressure that had built within her. "God, El," she groaned.

He was about to move when he felt her buck and roll her hips, she had taken control, she was the dominant one tonight, and he found that he didn't mind at all. He kept his eyes on her eyes for a moment longer, then trailed them down to her chest, bouncing with the slow rhythm of her rocking body. He moved his hands up her legs, her hips, her waist, then cupped each breast and teased each nipple, making her head drop back and her voice creak out a shuddering sound.

She kept her movements slow, deliberate, but she felt the need building, the burn growing. "Oh, my God," she cried as her body acted of its own volition and sped up.

"Oh, Christ," Elliot spat, gripping her body, giving them leverage as best he could. He slammed up into her, then, not wanting her to do all of the work, and he had them both nearing the edge fast.

She was the first to fall, her body tightening, her back arching, her neck rolling back. "Oh, my God, Elliot!"

The cry ripped from her throat was feral, and it kicked him into overdrive. He moved faster, harder, deeper. He heard the slap of flesh meeting flesh with every thrust. Finally he growled out her name and shot hotly up inside of her, staying deep and still until he was completely spent.

She felt his hands on her before she opened her eyes, and she fell willingly into his arms. "Hrmpfh," she said, muffled by his heaving chest.

"What?" he said, breathless and damp. He brushed her hair back and looked down at her.

"Holy shit," she repeated, a sated smile on her face.

He laughed and kissed her again, then yanked the comforter over their sweaty bodies. He held her close as he tried to slow his breathing and beating heart. "That was...I mean not that it isn't always...but you were...fuck, that was..."

"Yeah," she said, agreeing although she wasn't sure what exactly he was getting at.

He took a deep breath and sighed. "Honey," he whispered. "You know...I mean, I know I've been a bit aggressive lately, and I know I can be a domineering son of a bitch..."

"Correct," she teased, interrupting him with a kiss.

He smiled against her lips, keeping the kiss going for a moment too long. He pulled away and looked into her eyes. "You know that if you ever really said no, if I knew you really wanted to stop, I would. Don't you?"

She tilted her head. "Of course I do," she said, almost stunned. "El, I know you would never do anything to hurt me, I get that you're just teasing, and you know damn well if I ever...if there was a single time I didn't want you to touch me, I could stop you. You would stop."

He nodded and kissed her again, looping his arms further around her body. "The way I've been acting...when I get in those moods...when I have to be in control...does that bother you?"

"No," she whispered, nipping at his lips. "It's actually quite a turn-on."

His eyes darkened, his body shifted, and his smirk grew wicked. "Good," he hissed, laughing as he covered her body with his, kissing every inch he could.

She moaned, low and soft, as he slipped easily back inside of her, and she closed her eyes again. She had undergone a true transformation, a revolution of sorts, and she loved what she had become.

Someone else, though, hated it with every fiber of his being, and he would soon make his feelings known.

**A/N: Who! Also, if you are following me on twitter, be advised that I have changed my username. You can still see me, though. I haven't gone anywhere. ;) Thanks for reading!**


	14. Promotion

**A/N: **_**Promotion**_

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf own SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

"How's the arm?" Ed Tucker, head of Internal Affairs, asked Olivia. He smirked when she looked at up at him. "Hurt?"

"Not anymore," she said, narrowing her eyes. "Thanks."

Tucker nodded at sat down. "You know why you're here, right?"

Olivia sighed. "Yeah," she said. "But nothing happened. We got the ass, the kid is safe, we did our jobs, nothing..."

"You two are in a lot of shit for this, Benson," Tucker said, leaning closer to her. "I might not be able to get you out of it."

Olivia tilted her head. "Why would you want to?"

Tucker smiled at her. "It's not you I hate, Benson. No, I think your partner's a dickhead, but you...you're not on my shit-list." He cleared his throat. "Now, we have a claim, an eyewitness report, that when Clivers swiped you with the knife and started running with the kid..."

"We ran after him," Olivia interrupted.

Tucker lowered his gaze, at attempt to look more severe. "Stabler didn't run for you, first? He didn't jeopardize the life of that little girl to see if you were okay, first?"

"Nope," Olivia said, stone faced. "He looked at me for a second, I told him I was fine, he ran after Clivers. I got myself up and followed him."

Tucker sat back and drummed his fingers along the edge of the table. "What reason does Doctor Warner have for lying?"

Olivia shrugged.

"Olivia," Tucker said, using her first name for the first time, "I'm only going to ask this question once." He leaned forward again. "I need an honest answer."

She looked up, bit her lip, and nodded. "What?"

"What, exactly, is your relationship with Stabler?" Tucker asked, the vein in his neck throbbing a bit.

* * *

><p>"Partners," Elliot said, his arms crossed over his chest.<p>

Kevin Bernard, a lower officer in the IAB, paced back and forth in front of the cold, silver table. "You've been partners for how many years?"

Elliot shifted in his seat. "Ten," he said, looking annoyed.

"Ten years, you spent, what, eighteen hours a day with her? Sometimes more?" Bernard mused. "And in all that time, you're just partners?"

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Friends," he said. "There's a level of trust there that...that you don't get with anyone else."

"Just trust?" Bernard said with a grin as he sat across from Elliot. "Nothing else you get from her that you don't get from anyone else?"

"What are you getting at?" Elliot asked, pissed off now.

Bernard kicked his feet up and leaned back. "She's a beautiful woman, Elliot. She is. And you are a hot-blooded male, so..."

"So, what, men and women can't just be friends?" Elliot asked, almost too quickly.

Bernard chuckled. "Not men and women like her, no. Especially not with all you do for each other at work, the trust and the bond you two share...and with your wife leaving you, it must make for some cold and lonely nights."

Elliot growled slightly. "Yeah," he said, "Very cold and very lonely, that doesn't mean I'm the type of guy who's gonna hop into bed with my partner!"

"No," Bernard said, "Just makes you the type of guy who'd rather sacrifice the life of a six year old then leave your partner alone for a few minutes."

"First of all," Elliot said, pointing, "I didn't sacrifice anything, the girl's alive and we got the prick. Second, I just asked if she was okay. I didn't..."

"Melinda Warner told Sergeant Tucker that you ran to her and held your hand to her shoulder for at least five minutes before going after Clivers."

Elliot scoffed. "Melinda Warner doesn't know what she saw, she was in the medical van waiting for us to bring her the girl."

Bernard frowned. "Is that so?"

"Yeah," Elliot said, huffing.

"So you're telling me you just asked her a question," Bernard queried. "Taking at most, what, three seconds, then ran after..."

"That's exactly what I'm telling you, yes." Elliot shook his head. "Why is this so complicated?"

* * *

><p>Olivia ran a hand through her hair. "Complicated," she said. "That's a good word to describe it, but it's never been anything but professional at work."<p>

"And outside of work?" Tucker asked, twirling a pen around in his fingers.

"Friendship," her answer came fast. "Albeit, a strong one. You don't spend the better part of ten years trusting someone with your life without getting close to them."

Tucker held his breath. "How close?"

"Oh, come on," Olivia yelled, frustrated. "I already answered that! The answer is not gonna change, Tucker! I am not sleeping with my partner!" She hit the table with an open palm and asked, "Can I go now?"

Tucker sighed deeply. "Yeah," he said. "I'll have to compare notes with Kevin, though, before you're off the hook, here."

Olivia chuckled bitterly. "You really have to see if our stories match? See if one of us is lying?"

"With an allegation like this, yes," Tucker said. "Your first priority is your victim, Olivia, not your partner. This is serious."

"I get it," she said, walking out of the interrogation room. As soon as the door closed behind her, she nearly collapsed. She was shaking and her heart was pounding. She patted her body and felt the empty space where her badge and gun belonged.

"I feel naked without mine, too," his cool voice told her. He rested a hand on her shoulder and asked softly, "Still hurt?"

She shook her head. "You probably shouldn't touch me right now."

He withdrew his hand, but kept his smoky eyes on hers, letting a slightly seductive smirk cross his lips. "What'd you say in there?"

"Same thing you said," she replied. "I hope."

He laughed. "No worries, there." He walked, leading her, to the chairs against the wall in the waiting room. "What could Warner possibly gain from this?"

"I don't know," Olivia said. "I thought she understood, I thought she..."

"Was our friend?" Elliot assumed. "So did I." He shook his head and looked at her, a question dancing in his eyes, and around his tongue. He took a breath and took the jump. "Liv?"

"Yeah?" she said, staring at the door, behind which, she knew, the two IAB officials were comparing statements. Comparing lies.

He cleared his throat and leaned a bit closer to her. "I know this is a bad time..."

"El," she sighed, closing her eyes as her head hit the back of her chair. "Don't make things worse. Whatever it is, I think it can..."

"It can't wait," he said, his voice dropping and taking on an authoritative tone. "Listen to me."

She looked at him, and she twitched a bit. The wetness began to pool between her legs as she recalled the other times his voice sounded like that, and she stifled a moan. Then she swallowed hard, and she nodded.

"I need to be in court on Saturday," he said. "Finalizing some things with Kathy and the split of things." He took another breath. "I need you to stay with the kids."

She looked puzzled. "Without you? By myself?"

He nodded. "Yes," he said, firmness in his voice. "Please?"

"Of course," she said, smiling at him. Hearing the click of heels behind her, she said, "What are friends for?"

"Friends?" Melinda asked, stepping up to them with a scowl on her face. "You two almost blow a case for each other, you say you're just friends? Please."

Olivia tilted her chin up, looking at the woman standing before her. "What did you hope to accomplish here, tonight? You know damn well..."

"You know I'll always put her first," Elliot said, his eyes narrow. "I thought I got that through your head."

Melinda smirked. "Guess not," she said. "Not like anything happened. They believe you. I just came to retract my statement, because apparently two lies outweigh the truth." She sneered at Olivia and said, "You really should have stayed in Boston."

"Why?" Olivia asked, intrigued.

Melinda simply shook her head. "We'd all be better off," she mumbled as she walked away.

Olivia turned her head. "Explain," she said, crossing her legs.

Elliot bit his lip and grunted as his eyes traveled up her long limbs and tight body. "She came on to me," he told her. "A lot. At first I used my wife as an excuse, but when the divorce was filed, of course she found out, and I needed a new reason to stay away from her."

"Me?" Olivia asked.

He nodded dumbly. "I told her I couldn't...I couldn't sleep with one of your friends while you were gone. You might come back and..." he shook it off. "She said you might not come back, and then we wouldn't have to worry."

She scoffed. "Damn," she said. "I always thought Melinda had a thing for..."

"Fin?" he asked.

She chuckled. "I was gonna say Alex."

Elliot scrunched up his face, then laughed. His laughter was silenced, though, when Tucker came out of the large, oak door.

"Stabler? Benson?" Tucker said, crooking a finger at them.

The two stood and walked toward the sergeant, paling as they grew closer. Elliot took a breath. "Yeah?"

"Good news is your stories click," Tucker assured them. "You've both been cleared of any misconduct during this case, and the family of that little girl...they made a pretty hefty donation to the department in your honor."

"Wow," Olivia said, stunned. "So we can..."

"The bad news..." Tucker interrupted, "Is that your captain is definitely not coming back. Cragen handed in his official resignation this morning. Effective immediately, so that means these forms have to be signed by your new captain before you can return to active duty."

Elliot nodded. "Well, great, I can call Munch down here and..."

"Here," Tucker said, cutting him off yet again. He handed Olivia the files and clicked the end of a pen before holding it out to her as well. "Sign 'em."

Olivia's eyes widened and watered, her head slowly turned toward Elliot. Just when she thought things between them couldn't get any more risky, fate proved her wrong.

**A/N: Well, then...what is Munch gonna say? And when Olivia tries to turn down the offer, she gets a surprise. And they talk to Cragen.**


	15. Confliction

**A/N:**_** Confliction**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

She sat in his chair. She looked down at his desk. She heard the knock on the door but it didn't register.

"Liv?" Elliot's voice called.

She looked up. She tried to smile at him, but it came off more like a painful, pitiful grimace. "Just…don't. Okay?"  
>He put the box of stuff from her desk down on a chair and walked toward her, slowly. He reached for her hand, but thought better of it. He sat on the edge of her desk and folded his arms. "Munch isn't mad at you."<p>

"No?" she scoffed. "He keeps looking at me like I killed his kitten."

"He's worried about you," he told her. "So am I." He watched as she turned away from him and leaned back in the cushioned chair that he knew felt more uncomfortable by the minute. "Talk to me, Liv."

She shook her head and ran both hands through her hair before folding her arms. "I don't…I don't want you to think I wanted this, El."

"I don't think that," he said, tilting his head. "I know you took the test, so did I. We went together, remember? I saw the look in your eyes when Tucker handed you that pen, Liv, and I have never…" He choked back the words. "I never wanna see you look like that again."

"I never wanna feel like that again," she said, breathing deeply. "Why me?"

"Tucker said you were Cragen's reccomendation," he said with a shrug.

She met his hazy expression, and she got out of her seat. She grabbed her jacket and pulled him up by the arm. "Come on."

Elliot let out a startled sound and asked, "Where are we…"

"I wanna know why," she said, giving him a harsh look.

He knew what she meant, he knew where they were going, and he knew he couldn't fight her on it. "Okay," he said. He was all he could say.

* * *

><p>When they got to the front door of Cragen's building, Olivia put her hands in her pockets. "I can't…" and before she could finish her sentence, Elliot was hitting the button to buzz Cragen's apartment. She smiled her thanks at him.<p>

He grinned back and winked at her, fighting the urge to kiss her. "I got it."

The door opened slowly, and Cragen, looking quite disheveled, shot them each a questioning look. "You should be at work. Benson, you have an entire unit to run."

"That's why we're here," Olivia said. She looked him up and down, taking in the untucked shirt and the unshaven face. Then she sighed and closed her eyes as realization hit her. "How long?"

"What?" Cragen asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Are you forgetting who and what my mother was?" she asked, snapping. "I can see it in your eyes, and you're slurring your words. How long? When did this start again?"

Cragen bit his lip. "A few months," he said. "Now, what do you want? I've got a ball game to watch and you have a command post to…"

"Wait," Elliot said, just catching on to what Olivia had noticed. "You're drinking again?"

Cragen lifted a hand, telling Elliot to back off, and looked at Olivia. "You wanna know why, that it?"

"Yeah," she said, pushing by him and into his apartment. She moved through it, searching in drawers and shelves before she realized he lived alone. She laughed at herself. "You don't need to hide it, do you?" She looked around, spotting it, and she headed for it. She grabbed two bottles off of the coffee table and walked into the kitchen.

"Olivia," Cragen yelled. "Just what the hell do you think you're…"

She turned to him, cutting off his words and pointing the neck of a bottle of vodka at him. "I watched my mother slowly kill herself, drinking herself away bit by bit until there was nothing left," she hissed. "You're the one who told me she was dead! Do you remember that? Do you?" She turned and poured the bottle into the kitchen sink. "I'm not letting you do the same fucking thing!" She dropped the empty bottle into the sink, and it shattered.

"Liv," Elliot said, heading toward her and grabbing her hands before she could pour the whiskey down the drain, too. "Liv, baby, stop."

"Baby?" Cragen scoffed. "You two still…"

"Still what?" Olivia yelled. "What do you think this is, exactly?"

Cragen looked at her, the fear and hurt and anger swimming in her eyes was sobering. "Olivia, I…I need you to calm down," he nearly whispered. He closed his eyes and said, "I know what you two are. That's why I did what I did." He made his way over to his couch, he sat, and he lifted a glass of brown liquid to his lips. "I obviously couldn't go back to work." He swallowed back the entire glass in one gulp.

Olivia looked away, finding it physically painful to watch someone drink like that. Like her mother. "What?" she asked, her head buried in Elliot's chest.

Cragen chuckled bitterly. "I'm no good anymore, Benson. I have a weak heart and my nerves are shot. If I let Munch stay in charge, then Tucker…Munch isn't a fighter. He wouldn't go to bat for you two, and the second IAB got wind of this…this…relationship you two have…Munch would split you up without a second thought."

Elliot squinted. "You told Tucker to hand the chair over to Liv…"

"Because she's do everything in her power as captain to hold onto you," Cragen said softly. He nodded a bit, turning the now empty cup around in his hand. "I know her, Elliot. She'd change rules, break traditions, and because she's who she is, no one would question it."

Olivia pulled herself away from Elliot. "How the…you gave me a job I can't handle and never wanted just so I could keep my partner? That doesn't make any sense! How the hell could I possibly…"

"You'll figure it out," Cragen interrupted. "You two always did have all the answers." He looked at Olivia and took a deep breath. "After I got out of the hospital," he said, "Facing the fact that I almost died…high blood pressure, high cholesterol, the doctor told me I had to quit. It was too stressful, he said."

"So you had a drink," Elliot said, nodding once. "One turned into two. Two turned into seven."

"Something like that," Cragen said, shaking slightly. "I've got a meeting tomorrow," he added, looking up at both of them. "AA. Olivia, I have no intention of becoming…"

"Good," she said, sniffing. She had been fighting tears all night. She cleared her throat and looked back at Elliot. "Well, I got my answer. We can go."

Elliot quirked an eyebrow at her. "You sure?"

She nodded and headed for the door, and Elliot looked at Cragen with a question in his eyes.

"Just don't let her do anything stupid," Cragen said, not looking at him. "I know what I did, Elliot. And I think she knows what she has to do."

Elliot nodded, took a breath, and followed after Olivia. He had no idea how she would handle things, but he wanted to be there for her, no matter what.

* * *

><p>They drove back to the station in silence, Olivia stared out the window blankly as Elliot drove fast, swerving through traffic. There was not a sound made between them until he parked, and it was his voice that broke the silence. "You gonna be okay?"<p>

She nodded, firmly, a terrifying look in her eyes. She opened the door, got out, slammed it, and barreled through the parking lot heading for the door.

"Liv!" he shouted, running to catch up to her. "Liv! Hold on!" Bu she didn't slow and he was breathing hard when he finally got to her side. "Jesus, where's the fire?"

"I've gotta go up there and dole out new assignments. Things need to be moved, desks have to…"

"What?" he interrupted, squinting.

She smirked, a wicked half-smile, as they slipped into the elevator. She let him wonder as she was quiet the whole way up. The ding sounded louder than usual and the doors opened faster than she remembered. She ignored the inquisitive and disdainful looks she was getting as she headed down the hall with Elliot on her heels. She turned sharply into the squad room of her unit, and she stopped in the middle of the room. "Fin," she snapped.

Fin looked up at her. "Yeah?"

"Move that empty desk up against the back wall. Munch, make sure the computer and phone get hooked up back there." She moved toward the office that was now hers, but Fin stopped her.

"Hold up," Fin said, folding his arms. "What about Elliot? He needs a new partner."

"No, he doesn't," she said, a gleam in her eyes that no one had ever seen before. "He's a big boy, Fin. He can take care of himself. If I think he needs to ride with someone, then I'll go. Lord knows he has enough marks in his jacket to merit required supervision."

Elliot scoffed and gave her a harsh look. "Excuse me?"

"You work alone," she said flatly. "Did I stutter? I need you on that phone, tracking the van." She pointed to his desk, but he didn't move.

"You're not gonna give him a partner?" Fin asked, angry and a bit confused. "You really think it's a good idea to keep him workin' alone unless you feel like goin' out with him? You can't do that!"

She smiled at him, but it was more condescending than friendly. "I'm the captain now, Fin. I can," she said with a single bob of her head. "And I did. Move that desk and get back to work! All of you!" She turned, walking with purpose toward her office.

Elliot, fuming, was right behind her. "Oh, Captain Benson?" he shouted sarcastically, walking in after her and slamming the door. "What the hell was that? I'm under some sort of…"

"You are," she snapped, turning to him. "Don't you have phone calls to make? I gave you an order, I expect you to…"

"Wow, an hour as captain and you're already bossing me around," he said, his voice low and unamused.

She stepped over to him and gave him a hard shove, forcing him into a leather chair. "Oh, you son of a bitch. You've been barking orders at me for weeks. You're gonna have to handle giving up control. Your boss is a woman, Elliot. You got a problem with that, Stabler?"

He raised an eyebrow, looking up at her. "What if I do?"

She straddled him, then, dropping hard on his lap, facing him. "Then quit."

"Is this how it's gonna be then?" he asked, a sultry smirk playing at his lips. "You're gonna be a bitch at work?"

"Bitch?" she asked, yanking on his tie. "I'll give you 'bitch," she whispered, tossing the silk to the floor over her head.

He groaned, feeling himself harden beneath her, seeing her take on this new role so fully. "Shit," he hissed. "Why am I working alone, exactly?" He skimmed his hands up her back.

She grabbed his hands and threw them off of her, looking into his eyes. "Why do you think?" she asked, pushing his head back and dropping her lips to his neck.

He moaned, long and slow, swallowing hard as he felt her tongue sweeping over the now-throbbing vein in his neck. "Fuck, you know that…that does…"

"I know what it does," she said softly, nipping at his skin.

He closed his eyes and gave a guttural groan when her hand grazed over his hard shaft. "You don't wanna deal with me having a new partner," he said, his fingers trailing up her thighs. "You don't want to give any one any reason to think you're jealous, and if you do get jealous, it'll interfere with your job and you'll give Tucker a reason to…"

"Exactly," she said, giving him a squeeze and bringing her other hand to the zipper of his pants.

He shook slightly, shuddering when he watched her slowly pull the zipper down. He kept his hands running up and down her body. "Shouldn't we…"

"Lock the door?" she finished. She smirked at him. "They think I'm yelling at you, they're not coming in here. And for the last time," she said, slapping at his hands. "Don't fucking touch me."

He eyed her for a moment, before realizing she was serious. "Liv, what are you…"

"Shut up," she ordered, kissing him roughly and looping one hand around his throat gently as the other reached down into his pants and freed his stiff, thick member.

He groaned and his breath quickened. "What's gotten into you?"

"This isn't gonna work if you keep questioning my authority, Stabler," she snapped, pulling a bit harder on him. She grinned like a fox at him as she ran the hand on his throat down his chest.

He took a sharp breath as he watched her pop the button on her pants, and he went completely white. He swallowed hard again, keeping his eyes on her hand.

She chuckled, loving the effect this was having in him. She felt him throbbing in her hand and she stroked faster. "Elliot," she said, her voice low and firm, "You know what I want, don't you?"

He nodded fast, saying nothing. He whimpered when she took his hand and wrapped it around the waistband of her pants while stroking him slowly again.

"Elliot," she whispered, looking into his eyes, "Do it."

He held her gaze as he pushed her pants down just enough to give him free access to her. He shifted his hips, moaning when she let go of him, and he held her hips steady as he lowered her onto his still throbbing, aching, erection.

They moaned together, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as he kissed her. He moved his hips slowly, hitting deep within her.

"God, El, faster," she breathed, pressing her forehead to his. "Faster, baby."

He moved faster, rising off of the chair a bit with each thrust. "You feel so fucking good," he spat, kissing her roughly.

She kissed him back just as hard, just as passionately. She moaned and whined against his lips and rocked her body with his. "I can do this," she said quietly. "Right?"

"Oh, honey." He kissed her eagerly and moved his hips faster. "You just scared the shit out of me, so what does that tell you?" He smiled at her and kissed her once more. "You're gonna be great. As long as this is what you really want. You don't have to take this…"

"I do," she said, nodding. "Oh, God, El…more." She bit his bottom lip and felt him hit into her harder, slapping his pelvis against hers. "Oh, fuck, yeah. Just like that."

He grunted, panted, growled. He moaned her name, nuzzled her neck, pulled her hair. He felt her scratching her nails down his back, and he moaned again. "This isn't…shit, this is so fucking wrong."

She chuckled and nodded. "Just so you know, now that your job is in my hands, I intend on making you fulfill certain duties. And you can't fight me on it."

He pressed his lips together as he drove hard into her, making her yelp. He didn't stop moving, didn't stop thrusting. He slammed up into her and felt her tighten, he felt her shaking as she wrapped her arms around him and cried his name into his ear. He knew she was cumming hard, but he kept going.

She was rolling through her second orgasm, which had come quickly on the heels of her first, and she held onto him as he tightened and stilled, grunting softly as he finally fell over the edge.

They remained in the chair, tangled together, as they calmed down. "I don't think that will be a problem, Captain," he finally said, breathing heavily.

She chuckled as she peeled herself off of him. She adjusted her pants, then bent over and picked up his tie. She threw it at him, smirking as she watched him put it back on. When he looked presentable, she opened her office door and yelled, "Get back to work, Stabler. And if you ever come into this office like that again, you'll have to suffer the consequences."

He winked at her before feigning shame and sulking back to his now-single desk.

She slammed the door, and turned, but instead of walking to her desk to sit, she slid down the wall and dropped her head into her hands. She took a deep breath and did something she hadn't done in years.

She cried.

**A/N: Her first full day as captain, a conversation with Melinda, and how does Olivia handle being alone with the kids? How does Kathy handle it? Coming up! **


	16. Confession

**A/N:**_** Confession**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

"So," Maureen said, sipping from a bottle of water, "Who's watching the squad if you're here with us?"

Olivia sipped her coffee and shifted on the park bench. "Munch," she said. "Even captains need a day off." She smiled at the seventeen year old and winked.

Maureen smiled back and said, "Oh, so…how does my dad feel about you being his boss instead of his partner?"

Olivia looked around, consciously checking on the other kids and making sure she could see them from where she was sitting. It wasn't a big park, but it was crowded and surrounded by busy streets. She leaned back a bit and said, "I don't really know. He says it's okay, but you know your father. It bothers him."

Maureen nodded, took another sip of water, and smirked. "Can I ask you something? Something…woman to woman?"

"Oh, boy," Olivia chuckled. "Yes, I know how to alleviate cramps, and no, you won't gain ten pounds if you eat after ten o'clock…"

"How many men have you slept with?" Maureen asked, interrupting.

With wide eyes, Olivia finished her coffee. She twirled the empty foam cup around in her hands and said, "That's…that's…really…"

"I just wanna know…ya know…what's normal at your age," Maureen said, appearing innocent.

Olivia's eyes narrowed slightly. "My age?" she asked. "How old do you think I am?"

"Old enough to have been around the block a few times, Liv, let's be honest here." Maureen twisted to face her, lifting one leg over the other. "So, what, like, three? Four?"

Olivia sighed. "Why are you asking?"

"My father's too much of a gentleman," Maureen said. "You know he's wondered about it for years. He's also always wondered what number he would be."

Olivia's eyes shot toward the courthouse across the street, and she hoped and prayed that Elliot would walk out before she had to answer to the question. "What's taking so long?" she mumbled under her breath as she ran a hand though her hair. "Um, more than four," she said, looking at Maureen.

"How many more?" Maureen asked, her smile suddenly looking more mischievous. "Liv, if you're gonna be with my father, these are the kinds of things you need to be comfortable talking about. You're dealing with four teenagers now. If you can't handle…"

"Twelve," Olivia said. "I started young, so don't…"

"How young?" Maureen asked. She tilted her head and asked, "Younger than me? Because my father's always told me that I was way too young so if you were…"

"I was fifteen," Olivia answered fast, honestly. "I didn't do it for any of the right reasons, Mo, I was…I didn't care whether or not he loved me. I thought he was my ticket out. Out of the city, away from my mother."

Maureen saw the look on Olivia's face. She suddenly felt horrible about asking, and she clicked the 'end' button on her phone, ending the voice mail she was leaving on her father's phone. "You really hated her, huh?"

"No," Olivia said softly, a sad smile on her face and tears in her eyes. "I loved her, Maureen. Very much. She just…she had a problem. She had a problem with drinking, and a problem with me, and I…I was scared. For most of my life I was terrified of her. See, your parents have problems, but they're amazing. Both of them."

Maureen screwed up her face. "You think my mother's amazing?"

Olivia nodded. "She's never given me a reason not to, ya know, other than the fact that she hated me. I was actually pretty jealous of her for a long time. I still am."

"Why?" Maureen asked, confused. "You're with my father now. Isn't that what you wanted?"

Ignoring the venom in the question, Olivia said, "Part of it was your father, but mostly…mostly it was you. You and your sisters, and your brother. Your mother has you guys, she has a family. Kathy's a mother, and a damn good one. That's all I've ever wanted." She shrugged. "And every day I wake up and think how I'm one day closer to never having that."

Maureen watched as a tear fell down Olivia's cheek. Her heart broke, and she felt selfish and foolish for trying so hard to give her father a reason to leave her. "I didn't…I didn't know that, I…"

"No one does," Olivia whispered. "I don't even think your father knows how important it is to me. In my line of work, it's better to be alone, ya know? This way if you get shot, if you get stabbed, you get in trouble…no one is left behind. No one depends on you to come home. I've always admired your father's ability to have a family and keep his job."

"He barely did that," Maureen said, folding her arms. "Look what's happening with him and Mom now."

"Honey, what's happening with your parents has very little to do with his job," Olivia said, slipping her arm around Maureen's shoulders. "They got married very young, they had kids very young, and they grew up. Grew apart. They're different people than they were seventeen years ago, Mo, and sometimes…sometimes people are better off apart. They weren't happy, honey."

"Yeah, they would have been if…" Her voice trailed off and she shook her head. "Never mind. It's…it's wrong of me to think that."

Olivia smiled at her. "You think they'd be happy if I stayed in Boston, is that it?"

"You couldn't be more wrong," Elliot said, standing in front of the bench. He held up his phone and looked at his daughter. "You wanna tell me what, exactly, you were trying to pull?" He sat beside her and said, "You don't think Liv and I already talked about all of that? We're adults, Maureen. I know things about Olivia and her past that would make your head spin, so please, stop trying to protect me."

Maureen dropped her head a bit. "I wasn't trying to protect you," she spat.

Dickie ran over, then, and pulled on Olivia's hand. "Come on," he said. "Get up. We gotta go."

Olivia got up with the teenaged boy and laughed, "Go where?"

"Look!" he yelled, pointing. And if it wasn't for Olivia's quick reflexes and Elliot's parental instincts, the shots would have hit them.

Elliot was on the ground, covering his kids. "What the hell?"

Liv was kneeling close to the bench, in front of Dickie, her hand on her gun, firing off at the man who had come running down the courthouse steps. She aimed, keeping both hands steady, and she fired again. She hit her target, the man's leg, and he went down. She watched the guards who had been after him fire their own weapons, and she flinched when she heart one last pop. "Stay here," she barked, getting to her feet and running toward the courthouse.

"Are you guys okay?" Elliot asked, turning to each of his kids, examining them.

"We're okay," Kathleen said, nodding. "What about that man, Dad?"

Elliot looked over at Olivia, and though she was too far away to see her face, her body language said it all. "He's…" He cleared his throat. "He's not gonna hurt anyone anymore."

Kathy, having ducked the firing herself, ran over with panic-stricken eyes. She wrapped her arms around each child, then got to her feet and pulled Elliot in for a hug, more out of habit and comfort than anything else. "What happened?" she asked.

He shrugged, looking toward Olivia. "Take them home." He kissed each young cheek, then walked over to the rapidly forming crowd. He pushed through a few people to get to Olivia's side, seeing her on her cell phone with her hand on her hip. He looked down at the man on the steps, bleeding and unmoving. "Oh, shit," he mumbled, dropping to his knees to check for a pulse.

Olivia snapped her phone shut and looked at him. "So, what, this little court hearing was some kind of reconciliation?" she snapped at him, her eyes narrow.

"What?" he asked, looking up at her, confused. "You…Liv, she hugged me in a moment of panic! We were dodging bullets!"

"Not what I'm talking about," she said, handing him her phone. "Someone texted this to me right before I called the station. Care to explain?"

Elliot looked down at a photo of him and Kathy, kissing. "Honey, this…"

"Captain," she snapped, interrupting.

He looked up, raising an eyebrow, then noticed the cops and lawyers surrounding them. He understood. "Captain," he said with an eye-roll. "This was taken a long time ago. I don't know…hold on." He squinted and pushed a button. "This was sent from Kathy's phone."

"Why the hell would Kathy…"

"Maureen's phone broke, she's been using Kathy's," he said, handing her phone back to her. "Liv, trust me. Okay? I would never do that to you."

She brushed her hair behind her ear, then squatted beside. "Later," she said. "Right now, I wanna know why Ed Tucker was firing off live rounds in front of the courthouse, and why he's lying here dead now."

Elliot scratched his head. "I can think of at least twenty people who wanted him dead," he said. "Thirteen of them are cops, and two of them are us."

Olivia let out a soft "hmpf." She looked up at one of the security guards and said, "Can you find out what's taking Warner so long? And can you please get these looky-loos away from this? He's not some sideshow attraction."

"Yes, Ma'am," the uniformed man said, running up the steps.

She chuckled. "He called me 'Ma'am," she said. Then her face fell. "I'm gonna punch him."

Elliot laughed at her and said, "Well, you gave him an order, Ma…"

"If you call me 'Ma'am,' you will be sleeping on the couch for the next month." She eyed him carefully.

He swallowed hard. "Captain Benson," he said with a nod. "Just wait until we get home," he added, under his breath. Then he turned back to Tucker, his face frozen. So many unanswered questions, and so little time to answer them.

* * *

><p>She was the first one to walk into the apartment, her shoes flew off, her jacket dropped to the floor, and she plodded toward the bedroom.<p>

"Someone's exhausted," he laughed, following her as he pulled off his tie. He watched, his eyes widening just a bit, as she peeled off her pants and tossed them into the hamper. "And someone's been hitting the gym."

She looked up at him, tilting her head as she unbuttoned her shirt. "What?" she asked. "El, I don't look any different than I did last night."

He took a breath and toed off his shoes. "Tucker…I cannot believe…"

"We didn't know him," she said with a shrug. "Not enough to know what he was really involved in. It makes sense, though. He was using his status in the bureau to get the heads up on the biggest drug dealers in the city, and then letting them off if they gave him a cut of the profit."

"And people thought he was doing his best to rid the city of scum," he mumbled. "Well, tomorrow we get a new sergeant, who will probably pin us up even…me. Pin me up. By myself. Since my new captain doesn't think I need a new partner." He smirked as he threw his tie on top of her pants in the hamper. He worked the buttons of his shirt open and said, "Oh. Uh, I called and talked to Maureen while you were in with Warner. She said she was sorry."

"What was that all about, anyway?" she asked. "What did I do to her?" she questioned, finally taking off her shirt. She saw Elliot's eyes travel, following her fingers, and she chuckled.

He cleared his throat and tried to move his eyes up to hers. "She's getting a lot of flack from the other kids at school. My kids are already getting things handed to them because I'm a cop, but now their teachers are going easier on them because of the divorce." He sighed and said, "They're getting extensions on projects, and they're not being excused from missing assignments. Maureen's age...the kids in her class don't get it. She's getting special treatment and the other girls are giving her hell for it." He shrugged and dropped his pants. "She thought if she split us up, I would go back home, and the divorce would be off. She thought everything would go back to the way it was. She was…"

"Trying to be a normal teenager," Olivia said. "I remember what that's like. I got a lot of special attention in school, too, but for…very different reasons. It isn't easy hiding bruises and hospital bracelets in a gym uniform."

"Oh, Liv, I…" he sighed, throwing his pants into the white basket. "I know she's going through a lot, I do. All of my kids are. Honey, I know that you know better than anyone that kids are cruel. But don't pity her, okay? What she did…what she tried to do…"

"Forget it," she said, holding up a hand as she walked toward her dresser. "It didn't work did it?"

"Only because I showed you the ring on my finger in that picture and you knew I wasn't wearing it today!" he laughed. "Liv, you bought it! For a minute there, you actually thought…"

"I'm always going to be afraid of that," she said, slamming the drawer shut. She unfolded the silk nightgown in her hand and said, "Don't you get that? Part of me will always feel like…"

He moved fast, pulling the nightgown out of her grip and tossing it over her head. "Well, that part of you needs to learn that it's wrong. Now." He wrapped one hand around her neck and pulled, kissing her with such force it made her gasp. "You're so wrong." He pulled her tighter and kissed her again. "I love you, just you. Am I making myself clear? Captain?"

She smirked and kissed him again as she felt his hands move toward her back to unclasp her bra. When the straps slipped down, her arms dropped, and the garment fell to the floor. "Crystal," she moaned.

He kissed her once more, it was fiery and passionate, and moved one hand down her back to cup her ass. The other gently moved to the top of her head. He pushed lightly, silently asking her to move.

Taking the hint, she kissed down his neck, down his chest, and pulled his cotton boxers down as she kissed his stomach and the top of his waist.

He groaned and dropped his head back when she took him into her mouth, the wet heat engulfing him. He tugged lightly on her hair as she moved her head. "Fuck, Liv, that mouth is..." the rest of his words were swallowed by a grunt.

She sucked harder, taking as much of him in as she could before sliding off of him, her eyes stayed glued to his face, and the real power she had over him began to surface. She moved her hands to his hips, gripping him and bobbing, and when he finally looked down at her, her nails dug into his flesh.

"You…God, you're so fucking…" he clenched his jaw and shook his head, then rocked his hips slightly. He was getting too close too fast, and he had so much more planned for her. He tugged her hair lightly, upward, and looped his other hand under her arm. He pulled her up and without saying anything, he moved her onto the bed, easing her down on her stomach.

She moaned, her eyes closed, and she felt him holding her down with one hand and pulling on her panties with the other. "El," she breathed. "El, baby, what…"

"Quiet," he said, a hint of demand in his voice. "I'm workin' here." He bent down and kissed her ankles, up her legs, her thighs, and he licked up her folds just once before settling on his knees at the juncture of her thighs. He grabbed a pillow and lifted her hips, making sure she was on an angle and comfortable before looping a hand around her wrist. "You're gettin' good at this whole boss lady thing," he said. "But control is a complicated thing."

She tried to look over her shoulder, but he grabbed her other hand and twisted, pulling both hands together behind her back. She heard him chuckle and moaned again.

"You gotta take what you give," he said, pushing into her slowly keeping her hands together. "And, God, what you give is…so…fucking…" he grunted again, "Amazing."

"El, please…" she whimpered, pulling on her hands. "Baby, I…"

He moved her hands, careful not to hurt her, and pulled them over her head. He leaned over and brought his lips close to her ear. He moved in and out of her slowly and panted, his breath hot on her skin. "I have a confession to make," he whispered.

"Oh, God," she moaned, gripping the sheets under her fingers. "What?"

He slammed into her hard, making her cry out his name, and stayed deep within her for a moment. "With you," he said, "I am never really in control. You make me weak, Liv. You make me so fucking weak. I would do anything you asked, anything that you told me to. No matter what, or when, or why. So I need you to put any thought of me leaving you out of your mind, because unless you tell me to go, I'm not going anywhere." He dropped his lips to her neck and began to move again, his hands enclosing around hers.

Her eyes closed, her hands stretched out under his, her fingers entangled with his. And just as she was on the brink of her first blessed release of the night, because she was certain he was gearing up for more than one, she smiled. She had no intention of asking him to leave.

She just hoped what happened in the morning wouldn't be enough to make him leave, anyway.

**A/N: What does she tell him? It's complicated!**


	17. Distraction

**A/N:**_** Distraction**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

"So what happens now?" Munch asked, flipping a pencil like a baton is his hand. "Who's running IAB?"

Elliot washed a hand over his face and shook his head. "No idea."

"It ain't you is it?" Fin chuckled. "That's all we need."

Olivia, coming out of the office that now belonged to her, held up a file. "It's not Stabler." She brushed the hair out of her face and said, "He, um, he should be here soon. He's making the rounds, introducing…"

"Wait, you already know?" Munch asked.

Olivia nodded. "I, uh, I got a call." She handed Fin the file in her hand. "You and Munch have…"

"So, who is it?" Elliot asked, interrupting her.

She looked at him, but said nothing. She turned back to Fin and said, "A vic at Mercy General. Go easy on her. She's only thirteen."

"Why won't you tell us who it is?" Elliot asked, sitting up straighter.

"You have someone coming in for questioning in ten minutes," she said pointing to him. "Get in there and…"

"Captain Benson," a voice called from the doorway, interrupting her.

Heads turned to see a suave-looking man in a suit, his arms folded, leaning against the metal doorframe. "How ya doin?"

Elliot almost choked, Fin stood up, and Munch laughed to himself. "What the hell are you doing here?" Elliot asked.

The man walked into the room smugly, smirking. "Is that any way to talk to your new sergeant, Stabler?"  
>"Hold on," Elliot said, looking at Olivia. "Are you kidding me? Eckerson?"<p>

Olivia shot him a look. "I didn't know until he called me this morning, so don't even…"

"Pardon me," Eckerson interrupted, "But I really have to go, so can I just have a copy of your roster and jackets?"

Olivia nodded and headed toward her office. "Yeah. Sure, Andy."

Elliot grumbled something under his breath as they walked by him, and he marched into the interrogation room to wait for his suspect. Now, he was really in the mood to yell at someone.

Munch and Fin looked at each other knowingly, and they headed out of the squad room for Mercy General Hospital.

* * *

><p>"This is it?" Eckerson asked, taking files form Olivia.<p>

Olivia nodded. "Three detectives, eight officers, and mine." She handed him her own, the last one he needed.

He laughed and said, "I meant…Stabler's jacket looks a little thin, here, Olivia. You're not short shooting me, are you? You didn't pull out some of his write-ups and…"

"Are you accusing me of covering up for one of my detectives, Andy?" she asked, folding her arms.

"Of course not," he said, opening Elliot's file. "I'm accusing you of covering up for Elliot. There's a big difference there. He was your partner for years, Olivia. He practically ran me outta town when we…"

"He was my partner," she interjected. "Now, he's not. I have no reason to protect him, or cover anything up, Andy. Everything he has ever done, been charged with, or confessed to, is in that file."

He flipped through the pages and made a face. "Does he have some kind of anger management issue? Is he seeing a therapist?"

Olivia ran a hand down her face. "Yes and no," she said.

"He should." Eckerson closed the file and stood up, grabbing the rest of the yellow folders. "In fact, he has to. Or he'll be in my office, with a much thicker file than this." He looked up at Olivia. "Unless you can think of some other way to…"

"Nice try, Andy," she said with a smirk, folding her arms. "I'm not pulling anything over your head. You want him to see a therapist, he will. And if you want to ask me out, just do it. You don't have to threaten Elliot."

Eckerson smiled. "Come to dinner with me, tonight."

"I can't," she said, feigning disappointment. "I'm seeing someone."

Eckerson scoffed. "But you just said…"

"I said you just needed to ask," she interrupted with a laugh. "I didn't say I would say yes. Do you have everything you need?"

"With the exception of date to dinner tonight," Eckerson said, moving toward the door, "Yes. I'm keeping an eye on you, Olivia. For more reasons than one." He winked at her and left.

Olivia shook her head a bit, then walked out into the bullpen. She turned left and headed into the interrogation room, spotting Elliot through the double-paned glass.

He was leering over his suspect, his face was smoldering and heat was nearly rolling off of him.

"Has he hit the guy yet?" Olivia asked, leaning over toward the blonde in the room.

The woman shook her head. "He's close though. He kicked the chair. Twice."

Olivia chuckled. "It's so weird," she said. "Not being in there with him, Alex. It's weird."

"Like it's perfectly normal to see you behind that big ol' desk?" the lawyer chuckled. "Things have certainly changed around here, but I think…I think some change is good." She looked at Olivia and said, "You aren't his partner anymore. That could lead to things. Things I know you want."

Olivia smiled. "Alex, if you're even suggesting that Elliot and I…" she paused. "You're behind. Way behind."

"What?" Alex spat. "Are you…so…I mean, this is something we've been talking about for years. How is he?"

"Beyond…" Olivia began, but her attention was turned toward the glass at the sound of a falling chair. Her eyes widened and she ran into the room in time to shove Elliot off of the suspect. "Elliot, stop it!" she yelled.

Elliot stood still, huffing, as he dragged two fingers over his now bleeding lip. "I didn't…"

"I know you didn't," she said, holding her arms our between him and their perp. She turned her head toward the door and nodded at the guard. "Get him out of here. We got what we need." The officer grabbed the grimy man and nodded. "Book him for assaulting an officer on the way down to holding!" she yelled as they left. She turned back to Elliot. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, touching the cut on his lip and seething. "Mother fucker," he hissed. "I was already in a bad…"

"El," she said, stopping him. "Andy…"

"You should have told me," he snapped. "The second you found out!" He turned and punched the wall, grunting at the pain. "Damn it, Liv, this is…"

"I told you I didn't know!" she yelled back. "I found out less than an hour before he came down here." She took two steps toward him and held his face in her hands. "You told me last night that you weren't going anywhere, and that I didn't have to feel threatened by your ex-wife. You think…"

"I know you," he said, his eyes closed. His head hit the wall behind him as he reached up to take her hands in his. "We both suck at relationships, obviously. I've only had one and you've had more than you'll admit. With him here, you've got someone else to run to, and…"

"Jesus, Elliot," she snapped, ripping her hands from him. "You don't really know me at all, do you?" She narrowed her eyes and pointed at him. "You. I want you. If I wanted Andy, I would still be with him!"

He chuckled, laughing at himself for getting jealous so quickly, and laughing in relief. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She nodded once and tilted her head. "You honestly think I'd put up with half your shit if I didn't love…"

"Olivia!" Eckerson's voice bellowed through the room.

Olivia backed away from Elliot just in time, Andy walked in seconds later. "Yeah?"

"Your ADA informed me that we had an incident down here? And it, shockingly, wasn't Stabler's fault," Eckerson said, his hands on his hips. "What happened?"

"Suspect got a little feisty," Elliot said, licking at the now dried-blood on his lip. "Nothing I couldn't handle."

Andy nodded at him. "I still need your statement. You are pressing charges, aren't you?"

Elliot shook his head. "No," he said. "I've taken harder hits in bed." He turned to Olivia and winked. "Thanks, though."

Eckerson nodded. "Just doing my job," he said. "Oh, and, uh, I have tickets to this dinner thing tonight that I'm not…I'm not using." He looked at Elliot. "I left them on your desk. Take your wife. Have fun." He walked out of the room with a long glance at Olivia.

"Hey," Elliot called after him. "I'm not…"

"El," Olivia said, her lips pressed together, as she shook her head.

He looked at her and grinned. "He asked you, didn't he?"

She nodded, patted his shoulder, and said, "Get back to work, Stabler."

He laughed and grabbed her arm, pulling her to him for a quick kiss. "I love you," he whispered. He pressed his forehead to hers and took a breath. "I'm sorry I'm making this so difficult."

She rubbed her forehead against his for a moment, then kissed him again. "You're not," she said. She pulled away and said, "Work."

He laughed and followed her out of the interrogation room, into the squad room. As he sat at his desk, he looked down and saw the envelope from Eckerson. He hummed as he opened it, sliding out two tickets to a Governor's dinner. His eyes narrowed, though, as he found a note in the envelope as well. He slipped it out and unfolded it.

_Stabler, Take care of her. Andy._

He smiled slightly as he slipped the tickets and note back into the envelope and turned to look at Olivia's closed door. "I will, man," he whispered to no one. And with that, his decision was made.

No more distractions.

It was time.

**A/N: Time for what? **


	18. Precision

**A/N: **_**Precision**_

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf own SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

"How's your lip?" Olivia asked, taking two cans of soda out of a paper bag. She handed one to Elliot and sat beside him.

He took the cold can and held it to his lip as he playfully gave her the finger.

"I can fire you for that, now," she teased, grabbing a sandwich off of a platter in front of her.

"You wouldn't," he said. "You love me too much." He popped the top on his soda can and took a sip of the foam. "Can't believe we're missing dinner with the Governor for this."

She rolled her eyes as she chewed. She swallowed and asked, "What did Melinda do when you gave her the tickets?"

"She was thrilled," Elliot said with a laugh. "That is, until she realized I wasn't asking her to go with me." He took a sandwich off the platter and checked his watch. "Damn, Liv, it's midnight."

She bit again. "Yeah," she said, licking a bit of mayonnaise off of her lips. "I'm sorry we missed..."

"Stop it," he said wit a mouthful. "We got handed this case, you're the captain. I'm taking lead on it," he said, and then he swallowed. "It's not like we missed our wedding reception or something. It was a dinner that we didn't even plan on going to."

She rolled her eyes and wiped the corners of her lips. "Yeah, but you wanted to go."

"It woulda been nice," he shrugged. "Spending time with you, out, like a dat. But," he lowered his voice, "I have plans for you, Benson."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

He leaned closer to her, took a big sip of his soda, sighed, and said, "You don't even have to get dressed up. In fact," he licked his lips, "You don't have to wear anything at all."

She choked on her drink and her eyes widened.

Elliot chuckled and patted her back gently. "Sorry, Cap."

Once she could breathe, Olivia glared at him and got up. She threw her trash on the bin and said, "All right, people! Back to work!"

Elliot laughed again and got up, then followed her out of the conference room. He smiled and said to himself, "That's my girl."

* * *

><p>Ten hours later, they were all hungry again, and tired. It was thirteen hours into the investigation, the sun was up, patience was wearing thin, tension was high, and tempers were hot.<p>

Olivia had briefed the unit on new evidence and suspects, doled out orders, and shut herself in her office.

Fin slammed down his phone as Olivia slammed the door, and he looked at Elliot. "Man," he scoffed, "This shit ain't cool. You can't tell me you're okay with this."

"Okay with what?" Elliot asked, flipping over a phoned in sighting sheet. He rubbed his eyes and picked up the next one. "Does our guy have a mohawk?"

"No," Fin said. "And you can't be okay with this Captain Benson shit. She's breakin' protocol, barkin' orders. I mean...she went down to the hospital and personally interviewed the parents! Cragen never did that. She gets too close, and she gets too invested. She makes shit personal, and she..."

"Is the captain," Elliot said, flipping over another sheet of paper. "Before, she couldn't do everything she thought necessary to solve a case, she couldn't handle things the way she wanted to, the way she thought she needed to. Now she can, and she is, "He told Fin. "Just because you've got issues taking orders from a woman..."

"Now, I didn't say that!" Fin said.

Elliot looked at him, then. "Oh, so you're just pissed that Cragen passed you over for the job, that it?" he asked, folding his arms. He grinned and said, "Don't tell me. You're also not too thrilled that Liv has a solid 'in' with IAB now. Well, man, she had Tucker wrapped around her finger, too."

Fin scoffed. "I told you, it ain't..." He paused and shook his head. "No, ya know what, I'll say it. This whole fuckin' thing annoys me. Benson is way too sensitive to be handlin' this unit. Women like her shouldn't run the show with these kinds of crimes."

"Women like her?" Elliot said, standing.

Fin stood, too, taking Elliot's challenge. "You know," he said, stepping forward. "Bleedin' heart sympathetic, the kinda girl who cries with the vic instead of gettin' the facts, the kinda girl who's fuckin' great in bed but you just can't..."

Elliot's fist collided with Fin's mouth before that last thought was finished.

"Hey!" Olivia yelled, running over to get between them. She checked Fin first, then looked up at Elliot. "One fight a day isn't enough for you?"

"Technically, the last one was yesterday," Elliot spat. He shook out his hand, opening and closing it.

"I don't know what the hell happened out here," she said, standing up straight, "But right now, I don't care. We gotta go."

Fin glared at Elliot, then at her. "You ain't gonna do anything about this? He just..."

"I'll write him up later, FIn!" she yelled. "Right now, we have to go, so just move your asses! Both of you!"

Fin grumbled, grabbing his keys. "Where?"

"Forty-Third Street," Olivia said. "Another girl, another alley, but we gotta pick up Andy on the way." She pulled her gun out of the leather on her hip and checked the cartridge, making sure it was loaded.

"Officer involved?" Elliot asked, pulling on his jacket. "The perp or the vic?"

Olivia sighed, rubbing her eyes. "Both." She slapped her gun back into the holster and led the men out of the bullpen. The night was far from over.

* * *

><p>"Take a break," Elliot said, looking up as Olivia paced back and forth in front of the white board.<p>

Olivia shook her head, biting her lip.

"Liv," he said, standing and walking toward her. "Come on, neither of us has slept, I think you really..."

"I want him caught," she interrupted.

"Let me handle things for a while, then," Andy said, standing in the doorway behind them. "You need a break, Olivia. I admire your passion and your dedication, but even captains need to sleep."

Olivia turned to Andy. "You can't handle this all by..."

"And you can?" Andy interrupted. "Olivia, you've been captain for four days. You don't need to run it like Captain Kirk. It's okay to still need to be part of a team for a while, a team I am proud to be part of, too. Go upstairs, get some shut-eye." He nodded at Elliot. "Both of you."

Olivia shook her head. "Thank you, but you really don't have to..."

"I'm the head of IAB, so technically it's my case anyway," Andy said. "It's late, no one's calling now. If anything happens, I'll yell for you."

Elliot took her hand before she could protest, and he pulled her up the steps. "Come on," he spat over his shoulder.

She rolled her eyes and walked faster. She followed him into the bunkroom, made her way to a bed in the far back, and plopped on it. "I suck."

He chuckled. "Oh, I know you do. You're very good at it," he teased, kissing her as he sat beside her. He ran his hands up her arms and squeezed her shoulders. "In all seriousness, baby, you're doing fine. Better than anyone expected. Just because we haven't found this guy in twenty-four hours..."

"Thirty," she hissed.

"Whatever," he mumbled, rubbing her neck. "Relax, honey."

She moaned as his fingers massaged away the knots in her back. Her head dropped back and she whispered, "I love you."

"I love you, too," he said, kissing her forehead.

She moved her head up, kissing his lips, and her arms slipped around his waist.

He twisted his body into her, deepening the kiss, and he pulled her with him as he leaned back,. laying down. They stayed, pressed together, just kissing. His hands trailed down her back, over her waist, and one finger dipped into her pants and traced the lines of her tattoo. "I love that thing, too," he said, smiling, kissing her again.

"You would," she said, chuckling. Her own fingers danced up his arms, and her right pulled the fabric of his sleeve with it. "this one," she whispered, running a long digit over his tattoo of Jesus, "I understand."

"Yeah," he whispered back, stilling as she touched him.

Her left hand traced over his right wrist. "And I know why you got this one," she said. "But," she began, sliding her hand over his shirt and resting it on his shoulder," What's with the S, Stabler?"

He smirked. "It's the symbol of..."

"I know what it is," she interrupted with a kiss to his chin. "I wanna know why. You're not a comic book fan, and you don't like Dean Cain, or anyone else who's ever played..."

"I wanna be a hero," he said, pulling her tighter to him. "I've always wanted to be someone's hero. Save a life, save the world, or at least make it safer and more bearable." He kissed the end of her nose. "I wanna be a hero to my kids, and someday, Liv, I wanna be your hero."

She kissed his gently as she unbuttoned his shirt. "You already are," she whispered. The cotton fell open he raked her fingers lightly down his now-bare chest.

He moaned and closed his eyes, loving it. He wanted her, he always wanted her, but he was too exhausted to treat her right at the moment.

She must have read his mind, and felt the same, because she stopped moving over him.

He smiled when he felt her nuzzle into his chest.

She sighed as she listened to the rhythm of his heartbeat, slowly stoking his side with her fingertips. "El?"

"Yeah, baby?" He kissed the top of her head.

"I thought about what you asked me," she said. "Before we got involved in this case. I told you I had to think about it...and...I did."

He took a deep breath. "Okay," he said. "And?"

She kissed his chest, right over his heart, over the tattoo he'd gotten of her badge number, and said, "You really want me to?"

He nodded, running his fingers through his hair. "I wouldn't have asked. I...I have this...need, I guess, to take care of you, and I can do that if...you..."

"Okay," she said, kissing him softly. "I'll tell my landlord in the morning. But...I'm not finalizing anything until everything with Kathy is settled." She yawned. "And it's gonna be a bitch keeping this quiet, if we're living together. Alex knows, but..."

"They're all gonna find out eventually," he said, closing his eyes and curling his body around her.

She fell asleep to the beating drum of his heart, and he drifted off as he breathed in her scent.

Neither had any clue that they weren't alone in the room, and the man watching them had precision. He'd do what he needed to do, get what he needed to get, and get out, without anyone noticing.

**A/N: o..O Who's gonna do what now?**


	19. Acclimation

**A/N: **_**Acclimation**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU belongs to Dick Wolf. This story is all mine. TStabler**

"We're up to four," Olivia said, pasting up photos of the third and fourth victims. "This asshole is on a rampage, he's not taking breaks, and he's keeping us on our toes. The only things we have to go on are a partial license plate and the two surviving girls say he spoke with a thick accent." She turned to face her squad. "If you don't bring him in when you come back tonight," she said, pointing. "Then don't come back her at all."

There was a chorus of "Yes, Captain," and "Yes, Ma'am," as the men in suits and uniforms took off to patrol the streets for their target.

Andy stood by, behind the empty desk, and smiled at her. "Impressive, Olivia," he said, nodding.

Olivia looked at him. "What is?"

"You're charge of this whole thing," he said. "You've stepped up to the plate, and you hit it out of the ball park. I'm also impressed that you wrote up that incident with Fin and…"

"This again?" she scoffed, folding her arms. "Elliot punched Fin, it's a violation, I wrote him up. Isn't that my job?"

Andy chuckled. "Olivia, I'm going to be honest with you. No one in the entire department expected you to…well, we all just assumed that…"

"Elliot and I used to be partners," she interrupted again. "We're close, but that doesn't mean we aren't capable of putting that aside and having a professional relationship. He understands that, as his supervisor, I am going to…"

"Does he?" Andy asked. "Does he understand, Olivia?" He took two steps forward and looked into her eyes. "Or is it too complicated for him to grasp? I would…"

"Before you even finish that thought," she said, narrowing her eyes, "Nothing is going on between me and Elliot. I told you I was seeing someone. I never said it was him."

Andy turned his head to look at Elliot, who was engrossed in a conversation with two witnesses. "I was wrong?" he mumbled to himself. He hummed and looked back at her. "Well, whoever he is, he's lucky. I had you once, so I know. I was stupid, Olivia. I couldn't be what you needed." He leaned in and gave her a small kiss on the cheek. "I hope he's smarter than me."

Olivia backed away. "He is," she said, glaring at him. "I'll be in my office," she said louder, to the people remaining in the room."

Munch, puzzled, looked over at Fin. "Hey. Eckerson and Benson…."

"Used to date," Fin said. "Stabler told Cragen once, Cragen let it slip."

"You don't think they're…" Munch began. "You know."

"No," Fin said quickly. "Grab your keys, old man." He slapped Munch on the shoulder. "You're drivin.'"

Munch sighed and followed Fin out of the squad room, shaking his head.

* * *

><p>Olivia, searching through her desk for something, heard the knock on the door and shouted, "Yeah?"<p>

The door opened, Elliot walked in. "You got a second?"

She looked up. "Yeah," she said. "Sit. Is this about me writing you up for..."

"What are you looking for?" he asked as he sat in a cushioned chair in front of her desk. "Your file."

"You gave it to Eckerson," he said, his eyes narrow. "Right?"

She smirked at him. "I gave him half of it." She slammed a drawer shut. "If he knew all of the shit you've pulled in the last ten years, he'd have you in Huang's office every day for the next ten."

He chuckled. "I'm not that bad," he said.

"You punched Fin!" she yelled, the smile on her face betraying the fact she was not truly angry. "Admit it, you have control issues."

He lowered his voice and stared at her. "You know I do," he said, his voice husky and dark.

The shiver ran up her spine but she held back the moan. "What do you want, Stabler?"

"Besides you?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow. "I saw you and Eckerson."

Olivia looked at him. "El, that was…you know nothing happened."

"I heard you lie, right to his face," he said, leaning forward. "Liv, when is it gonna be enough? He thought we were together and he didn't do anything. I mean, fuck, the man told me to take care of you, so what is the…"

She sat, letting out a frustrated noise. "I don't know," she said. "I just feel like…if I say it out loud, if people know…then it's all just gonna fall apart. I'm your boss, now, El. This is even more inappropriate than when…"

"It's not gonna end because you tell people," he whispered. "It'll…God, Liv, I am so sick of hiding this. Did you ever think that letting people know would make this easier? Bring us closer?"

She bit her lip. "Who did you tell?"

"I didn't tell…" he stopped, he shook his head. "Maybe...fine. Fin knows." He ran a hand down his face. "We were out this morning, looking for Mathers, and he asked why I got so mad at him for talking about you so…I told him."

Olivia folded her arms. "But he already…"

"He just thought," Elliot said. "He noticed little things like the way we looked at each other, and he gave me a lot of shit about it, but he hoped he was wrong. I told him he wasn't." He got out of his seat. "If I can tell Fin, then you can tell someone other than Alex."

"Andy?" she asked, knowing what he meant.

Elliot smirked. He leaned over and kissed her softly. "By the way," he whispered, "Munch just called. He and Fin are bringing Mathers in. Can I…"

She gasped, stopping him. "What? We got him?"

Elliot nodded. "We got him. So can I…"

"You," she said, getting out of her chair. "And me." She pushed him out of her way and walked into the squad room.

Elliot grinned as he straightened his tie. He loved interrogations, especially when he got to conduct them with Olivia.

* * *

><p>Olivia turned the key and pushed the door opened, looking around as if seeing the place for the first time. She sighed and ran a hand down her face.<p>

"Welcome home," Elliot whispered next to her, carrying a cardboard box. He chuckled a bit and walked into the living room, placing the box on the coffee table. "There it is," he said, pointing to it. "Your first step towards actually living here. With me."

She smiled at him and closed the door. "Yeah," she sighed. She took off her jacket and hung it on the rack. She yawned and walked into the kitchen.

Elliot followed her, confused. "You have to try to control your enthusiasm," he said, walking into the room and finding her at the fridge.

"I'm happy, El, trust me," she said. She pulled out a bottle of beer and popped the top off as she closed the refrigerator door. She took a long, slow sip, dropping her head back, oblivious to Elliot staring.

He gulped as he moved toward her. "You okay?"

She nodded, swallowing. "Rough couple of days," she said, dropping her beer onto the counter. She turned and jumped a bit, finding him right in front of her. "Hi."

His answer was a slow kiss. Sweet and gentle, as he cupped her face. He moaned when he felt her relax into the kiss, aware that her hands were moving up and down his back, giving into what they both craved. "I missed you," he whispered, nuzzling her nose.

She hummed in agreement, nodding as she kissed him again. She felt his hands sliding down her back and land, cupping her ass.

He gave her body a gentle squeeze as he moaned again, his tongue running along her teeth, his lips covering hers, consuming her.

She kissed him back with eager lips, her hands gripped his shirt and in one, swift tug, she turned them around.

The fridge shook with the impact of his body against it. "What the…"

She cut off his protest with a kiss as her fingers pried his shirt buttons apart. Her nails scraped his skin as she pushed the cotton over his shoulders, letting it and his suit jacket fall to the kitchen floor.

He moaned, pulling her against him as they kissed, and he whined when she peeled her lips off of his.

She kissed down his chest, licking and lapping at his skin as she unzipped his pants. She lowered herself more, looking up at him with smoke-filled eyes. She smirked.

He knew. He knew, and his heart thudded against his chest in anticipation. He licked his lips, and scraped his teeth along them, running a hand through her hair as he watched her wrap a hand around his thick length and stroke.

She poked out her tongue, licking his tip, flicking over the tiny slit at the head.

He groaned as his head fell back into the shiny silver of the fridge. His eyes closed and he pressed his lips together. He felt her mouth and throat on him and he slammed his balled up fist into the cabinet at his side, the other hand still guiding his lover's head.

She narrowed her eyes as she sucked him, then reached up and gently cupped his balls, tugging just enough to drive him crazy.

"Oh, God," he said with a shaky voice, his entire body shivering. He made several breathy, gasping noises, and opened his eyes. He looked down at her, saw her eyes peering up at him, and he grunted again. His hips began to move, easing himself further down her throat. "Baby," he whispered.

She hummed around him, sending vibrations through his body, bringing him closer to the edge. She felt him twitch in her mouth and her eyes fluttered shut.

"Sono molto vicino," he mumbled, his hand pushing her head a little more firmly.

Her eyes opened and she hummed again. She didn't know he knew Italian, and what he said, that he was so close, made her work harder to bring him to the breaking point.

"Fuck," he hissed, slamming his hand on the counter again, as his body stiffened. He watched her face, the surprise and the lust in her eyes, as she kept him in her mouth and swallowed everything he gave. "Liv," he moaned. "Sei così perfetto."

"I'm perfect, huh?" She licked her lips and made her way back up, keeping her eyes on his. "I didn't know you…"

"Now you do," he said, panting. He kissed her slowly as he caught his breath, as his body tingled and the feeling slowly came back to his legs. "Mi amore," he whispered against her lips.

That same shiver crept up her spine. Trembling a bit, she kissed him, moaning when his hands undid the buttons on her shirt, treating it much like she had his.

He smiled when her form came into view and the white shirt fell at his feet, and he flicked his fingers over her bra clasp, letting it fall away, too. "Beautiful," he said, feeling himself stirring, no longer limp.

She wanted to blush, but she simply kissed him, her hand falling to his thigh, one finger slipping over the tip of his half-hard member. She dipped a fingernail into the slit that, moments ago, had been in her mouth, and she heard him gasp.

He kissed her roughly, then, grabbing her arms tightly. He lifted her as he pivoted. He held her up as he shoved her pants down, ripping the button but not caring. He dropped her on the counter, his eyes boring into hers, and he twisted one hand around her cotton panties before tugging hard.

She moaned as she watched him toss the ripped fabric over his head and she whimpered just a bit when both of his hands smacked down on her thighs.

He pulled her legs apart, his jaw tight, and he thrust into her hard, one motion, making her let out something that sounded like a growl. "You were ready," he whispered with a chuckle as he slid out of her. "So fucking ready."

"El," she moaned. "Elliot, I…"

He stopped her with a kiss. "You walk around in that suit all day," he said, breathing hard, "Acting like you own the place. I'm just reminding you, that you're mine."

She nodded slowly, a smirk playing at her lips as she felt him hit deep within her. "Oh, God, El."

"You feel that?" he spat. "You fucking love that, don't you? When I give you every fucking inch."

She moaned, her arms tightened around his neck, and she cried his name.

He lifted her up again, then moved her with a hard turn, pressing her into the cold steel refrigerator door. He stepped behind her, running a dingle finger down her spine. "You," he said, sliding the digit back up, "Are mine."

"Yes," she whispered, nodding.

He hooked an arm under her right knee, lifting it, and he pushed slowly into her again, inch by inch. He groaned at the tightness their new position offered, and he gave himself a minute to take it in before slamming hard, making their flesh meet with a loud slap with each thrust.

Her eyes were closed as she felt him pull her hair, and she opened them and looked over her shoulder, into his fierce eyes. She bit her lip and leaned backward into him.

"You," he said, still roughly pounding, "Don't cum yet." He moved his left hand up her side and around to her chest. He squeezed her left breast, tweaked her nipple, and heard the delicious moan from her voice. "God, you're so fucking good."

Her back arched and she saw him move closer to her, she felt his teeth tease the flesh of her shoulder before he bit her and sucked, making soft slurping noises. "Elliot," she whispered, her word was a warning.

"Not yet," he spat, grabbing her around her waist again. He turned her around again and put her back up on the counter, never leaving her, his thrusts still hard. "I wanna look at you."

She kissed him and moaned, her nails scratched down his back. "Baby," she panted. "Please?"

He smirked. "I wanna look into your eyes, I wanna watch you cum," he whispered huskily to her. "I want to see your face when I cum," he said, looming right against her lips, "For you."

At his words, as he thrust slow, hard, and deep, she fell apart. Her eyes widened rather than closed, her mouth dropped open, her body clung to his as it went rigid and the tiniest noise escaped her, the only breath she had leaving with it.

"God, damn!" he shouted, shooting off again, faster than he expected. His eyes stayed on hers, as promised, and he saw the fire ignite in them. He knew, then, she could feel him, and she loved it. Breathing hard, he leaned into her. He whispered, low, into her ear, "Solo per te, mio cuore." He took a breath. "Only for you…"

"Your heart," she breathed, looking up at him softly.

He ran one finger down the length of her heaving chest, as he did to her back, and they smiled at each other.

She bit her lip as she grinned with upturned eyes, coyly laughing as he lightly grazed her stomach. She took a breath and said, "You always know. You always know what I need, when I need it."

"I know that you're just like me," he said to her, kissing the end of her nose. "No one can be the boss all the time, and no one can take orders all the time." He kissed her lips. "Balance, baby."

She chuckled and kissed his neck, loving the feeling of being pressed against him.

He held her, still and close, and his eyes closed as he took in what happened, what was happening.

Their silent embrace was cut short, though, when Olivia's cell phone rang. "Damn," she hissed, peeling away from him. "What'd you do with my pants?"

He laughed, slipping out of her and bending down to get her phone out of her pocket. "Here," he said as he handed it to her.

She tapped the button. "Benson," she said, answering. Her face fell. Color drained from her flushed cheeks, leaving her pale and she trembled with both fear and the aftershocks of her tryst with Elliot. "Oh, my God! When did…what? Shit. Yeah," she said. "No, thanks for calling. We're on the way." She hung up and hopped off the counter, landing on wobbly legs.

"What was that about?" he asked. "I assume I have to put this back on?" he joked, holding up his tie.

She blinked and nodded. "El, Maureen was in an accident. She's okay, but…"

"What?" he shouted, dressing faster. "Oh, my God. What kind of accident? How do you know she's okay?"

Olivia rested a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him. "That was Kathy on the phone, El. Maureen's fine. She's got a bump on her head. They were hit by a drunk driver."

Elliot's nostril's flared as he pulled up his pants. "We're going. Now. And when I find out who…"

"They already got him," she interrupted. "El, they…at the scene, he…he didn't run."

Elliot saw the tears in her eyes. He took a step forward. "What's wrong? Baby, what…"

She shook her head and sniffled, and then she looked up at him. "It was Cragen."

**A/N: O_O Review? Maybe? I shall tell you what happened, if Olivia tells Andy the truth, and who took Elliot's file?**


	20. Instigation

**A/N: **_**Instigation**_

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf own SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

"I cannot believe this shit," Elliot spat, pacing back and forth in the police station.

Maureen, sitting in a chair near an empty desk, sniffled. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

"I'm...no, honey, I'm not mad at you, okay, stop looking at me like that." Elliot kneeled in front of his daughter. "You didn't do anything wrong. I don't care about the car, okay? I'm just relieved you're okay." He kissed her forehead. "How's the wrist?"

"Hurts," Maureen shrugged. "Are they really arresting your old captain for this?"

Elliot sighed and nodded. "He was driving under the influence, with a suspended license, and he hit you guys, so...yeah." He got to his feet. "That's what I can't believe."

Olivia came walking toward them, her hands in her pockets. "We can go," she said, "But they wanna talk to you first. You have to tell them if you want to press charges and sign some..."

Elliot narrowed his eyes. "What?"

She pulled him into a corner and lowered her voice. "I talked to Riggs," she said, looking carefully at Elliot. "Out of respect for Cragen, and us, he's letting you decide. They'll keep him here for a few days in the cooler, but any formal charges..."

"So, I have to choose between punishing the man that could have killed my daughter and her friends, and ruining the life of a man I thought of as..."

"A father," she said, nodding. "I don't wanna make you choose, El, believe me, but you know how things work when the perp and the vic are cops. It's never easy, and the department tries to just...make it go away."

He shook his head and bit his lip. Then he turned and punched the wall, hard, and hit his head against it, closing his eyes. "Liv," he whispered, "I need to know...I need you to promise me, that...whatever I say when I go in there..."

"I won't be mad at you, El," she told him, resting her hand on his shoulder. She squeezed lightly. "Your kids come first," she said, leaning into him. "I have always loved that about you, El, you are an amazing father, and I know...I know what can happen if they just let him go."

He took a deep breath and nodded, then looked up at her. He smiled and kissed her, then walked into the captain's office.

Olivia watched him go, then held in the urge to cry as she sat in the empty chair between Maureen and Kathy.

Kathy turned her head. "You okay?"

Olivia nodded. "Getting there," she said. "I just can't help feeling this horrifying sense of deja vu."

"Your mother?" Kathy asked gently.

Again, Olivia nodded. "I sat right here a hundred times," she said. "Whether it was because I was in the car with her, had to come pick her up, or bail her out...I just...this was not something I expected to relive."

"Just be glad it's Cragen," Kathy said, "And not someone else." She raised an eyebrow and said, "You and I both now he gets when he's drunk."

Olivia turned her head. "He's always called someone to pick him up," she said. "Elliot would never..."

"I know that," Kathy interrupted, "Which is why you should be thankful that it's only a man you've looked up to for a few years rather than the man you love that's in this situation." She placed her hand on her knee. "I know it's making you think of the pain and the hell your mother caused you, but if it was Elliot...well, I know you, Olivia, and I don't have the money to bail you out for murder. Again."

Olivia laughed and said, "You still hold that over my head?"

"No," Kathy said with a small smile. "Granted, I wish he would have told me, but you don't mortgage your house to post bail for someone unless you're in love with them."

"True," Olivia said, folding her arms. "Hey, I just noticed something."

"What?" Kathy asked, smiling.

Olivia looked at the blonde. "We're actually having a civil conversation, no yelling, no accusations, no..."

"No need," Kathy shrugged. "He's not my husband anymore, I'm not holding you responsible for anything, and when it comes down to it, Olivia, I kind of...sort of...like you."

"Gee, thanks," Olivia teased, chuckling.

Kathy laughed, too. "Besides, I figure we have to get along for the sake of the kids. The last thing they need is me treating you like the wicked stepmother, when they already worship the ground you..."

"What?" Olivia interrupted.

Kathy's eyes widened. "You have to know by now that the kids adore you, Olivia, they..."

"No, not...not that, I love them, too," Olivia cut in. "And I know they're okay with things now, but you said..."

"Oh," Kathy said, backing away. "You didn't...you mean, he didn't ask you...oh, shit."

Maureen, from the other side of Olivia, said, "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you let a cat out of a bag. Bravo, Kathy Malone!"

Olivia looked at Maureen, her brown eyes wide and her hands slightly shaking. "What are you talking...he's gonna...how do you know he's..."

"Please," Maureen said, rolling her eyes. "He talked to all of us about it to make sure we'd be okay with it. Then he said, his exact words, 'Good, because I already got the ring."

"Maureen!" Elliot yelled, suddenly pale and scared looking, standing a few feet in front of them.

"Don't look at me," Maureen said. "Mom told her, I was just clarifying..."

Elliot turned to Kathy. "Jesus, Kathy! You had to keep one secret for me. I have never, in eighteen years of marriage, asked you to do that!"

Kathy folded her arms. "No, but that's because you were the one keeping them from me. Olivia knew all your secrets, she still does! Besides, it just slipped out because I thought you already asked!" She jutted a thumb at Olivia. "I thought that's why she was keeping her hands in her pockets!"

Elliot ran a hand down his face. "So, yeah, then." he said, looking at Olivia. He lifted his arms and opened his mouth, but dropped his hands to his side, saying nothing. "I guess you...no. Right? No?"

She gave him a small smile. "I can't say no, El, you didn't ask me anything."

He walked over and held out a hand. "Yeah, well, I'm not gonna do it here, so..." he bent over and kissed Maureen on the cheek, then looked at Kathy. "I already signed for her," he said. "You can take her home."

"I'll drop them off after school tomorrow," Kathy returned. "Dickie's got some sort of rash from shaving cream, so you have to..."

"I'll get him gel," he said, cutting her off. He looked at Olivia and said, "Come on." He pulled her through the doors of the foreign police station and walked, holding her hand, toward their car.

He opened the door for her, helped her in, closed it, and walked around to get in on his side. Once settled, he started the car, then turned to look at her. "I couldn't do it," he said.

"What?" she replied, confused.

"I told them to plea him out," Elliot continued. "Mandatory rehab for eight months, in a secure facility. No jail time, and he keeps his pension." He nodded. "I got him to serve some kind of sentence for almost killing my daughter, and he keeps his dignity and his pride."

She leaned over and whispered, "I love you," as she kissed his lips softly.

He cupped her face and kissed her back. "I love you, more," he said, rubbing her nose gently with his.

"Doubtful," she teased, backing up. "Drive, Stabler."

"Oh, hi, Captain Benson," he laughed, pulling out of the parking space. He took her hand and held it over the gear shift, using her palm to push the car into drive.

She smiled at him and said, "So when are you gonna ask me?"

He rolled his eyes. "Hey, it's bad enough you know I'm going to," he said. "So now, ya know, maybe I won't ask. Maybe one day you'll just wake up with a ring on your finger and I'll yell 'surprise."

She chuckled and said, "That's something you would do, actually."

"Kathy was right, Liv," he said, turning serious as he turned down a street. "You're the one who always knew all of my secrets. Things I couldn't tell her, things that would have..." he paused. "I just want you to know that doesn't change. Okay? I'm not gonna stop talking to you if we get..."

"I know," she said over him, "El, I know. I have always trusted in that." She kissed his cheek and asked, "And what do you mean if?"

"Well," he said with a smirk, "You could always say no."

They laughed together, but something was plaguing the back of Elliot's mind. Something deep, dark. A secret he had never told Olivia, and one that would have to be revealed before he could ask her what he needed to ask.

It might changed her answer.

It might change everything.

**A/N: Thoughts? Guesses? Cookies? I'll take 'em**.


	21. Discretion

**A/N: **_**Discretion**_

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf own SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

"How was court?" Olivia asked, looking up as Elliot walked in, obviously irritated.

He let out a soft growl. "You would know if you were in there with me, where you belong, instead of in here playing 'Police Chief Barbie," he snarled. He plopped in his chair with a huff.

Folding her arms, with wide eyes, Olivia said, "Not too good, I take it?"

He looked at her then, and he sighed as his face fell. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean that. Really, I just...I hate...fucking Langan is a piece of...I can't..."

"Stop it," she interrupted, her voice firm, a domineering look in her eyes.

He sat up a bit straighter and his lips twitched, trying to form a smirk but failing. He cleared his throat and ran a hand down his tie. "How was your day, Captain Benson? Do anything exciting while I was testifying?"

She shrugged. "Woke up early, went for a run, took a shower, came here, talked to Doctor Hendrix, sent Fin and Munch out to..."

"Back up," he interjected. "You talked to...when did you talk to..."

"She came by," Olivia said, cutting him off. "She wanted to talk to you, but when I told her you weren't here, she gave me this," she said, holding up a file from the desk on which she was sitting.

Elliot ran a hand down his face and shot a worried look at her. "What is that?"

"Work release forms," she said, tilting her head. "I had to sign them, copy them, and send them up to Andy." She handed him the folder. "So much for not keeping secrets."

"I was gonna tell you," he whined, taking the file. "Tonight, actually. I had it all planned out, in my head. Liv...I didn't want to sound crazy, and I...I didn't want you to think...to think what we did...what we've been doing..."

"How could you think that I would?" she asked, interrupting him again. "You know me. I know you better than you think, and I know the kinds of thoughts this job can put in your head, El, trust me, but I also know who you are, and how you work, so..."

"It bothered me, okay?" he snapped between her phrases. "I couldn't deal with having those fucking nightmares, not with you and I...being the way we are. I never want to be in a position where you think I'm..."

She narrowed her eyes and held up a hand. "Hold it," she said, standing and walking toward him. She lowered her voice as she sat on the corner of his desk. "Is that why you asked me if I knew you would never..."

"Yeah," he said with a nod, not letting her finish. "I'm not a monster, Liv. I know you know that, but...I needed to know that. I needed someone else, someone who studies monsters for a living, to tell me that." He closed his eyes. "Please, don't be mad at me for that."

Her look softened, her hand fell to his, covering it. "I'm not mad at you," she whispered. "I'm hurt that you didn't tell me about this before going to see...her."

He let himself smirk, then. "You're pissed because I went to Hendrix?"

"You could have gone to Huang," she said, looking away from him.

He chuckled. "I didn't want it on the company books if it didn't have to be," he told her. "I didn't even know she needed release papers from you, I thought..."

"She told me that your, um, problem was a direct result of work," she said, "So yeah, you needed her clearance." She smiled at him. "She also told me you told her what made you feel better about everything, what made you realize it was just a stupid dream."

He bit his lip. "Doctor-patient confidentiality my ass," he grumbled.

She chuckled. "She didn't think it applied with me," she said. "And El, I'm happy it was me. Relieved, actually."

"Yeah?" he asked, slightly nervous.

"Yeah," she said, nodding. "What woman doesn't want to be the only thing keeping the man she loves sane and happy?"

He smiled at her and licked his lips. "You love me, huh?"

"You know I do," she said, standing. "But right now I'm also pissed off to all hell you let Langan get the best of you. I want you on that computer, reviewing every scrap of evidence in that case, before you go back there tomorrow. Don't give him a window, El."

He mock-saluted at her. "Yes, Captain Benson, Ma'am."

"Oh," she said, shaking her head, "You're getting closer and closer to a nice night on the couch." She turned and headed for her office.

He leaned back in his chair, watching her backside appreciatively as she walked, and he laughed to himself. Tonight, the couch would be the last place he'd be sleeping.

* * *

><p>The day was long, the night was infuriating, and it was one of those instances that made Olivia regret taking the job she'd been given. She watched Fin and Munch close a case and open three more, and she couldn't fathom how she never noticed how bust Cragen was when she was working a case of her own. With Elliot.<p>

Her mind drifted briefly to the case in Boston, the one that took her away from everything she knew, and she felt sad, for a moment, when she realized she never got any of it back.

She would never have any of it back. Things had changed, she came home to a different squad, to a different Elliot. She came home to a passionate affair and sweet romance rolled into one, she came home to a dominant and submissive give-and-take she had never known, never imagined, and as she picked up yet another case-file, she smiled. She was happy for it.

She didn't realize how much more paperwork she had to do now, and she didn't feel right keeping Elliot away from his kids any longer than necessary, so she let him go home while she stayed to work. It didn't keep her from eyeing his desk every five minutes, though. She missed him, more than she should.

It was well after midnight when she finally turned the key to the front door, and it was eerily quiet. Looking around, she saw no sign of Elliot. "Probably already asleep," she mumbled.

She yawned as she hung up her jacket, and opened her eyes just in time to see the red ribbon tied to the key hook before she walked into it. "What the hell?"

She reached for a slip of paper clipped to the ribbon with a clothespin, and peeled it off. She furrowed her brow as she read, "March seventeenth, ten years ago, you wore a blue sweater and grey boots. We solved our first case together."

She chuckled, remembering, then noticed the ribbon dragged through the living room like a clothes line. She walked beside it, coming to another slip of paper. "June fourth, eight years ago, you went out in the middle of the night to get a birthday gift for Maureen, because I'd forgotten to. She said it was the best card she'd ever gotten."

She tilted her head and kept walking along the length of the ribbon. She plucked off another paper. "Three years ago, Christmas, you were sick. I took you home though you protested, and I stayed with you until you fell asleep. On my shoulder. I moved you, tucked you in, and kissed your cheek. It was truly one of the best Christmases ever."

By now, she knew what was going on, and she was sniffling to delay tears. She moved to the last piece of paper, clipped to the very end of the ribbon, tied to the bedroom doorknob.

Taking a shaky breath, she lifted it off the ribbon, and read, "Two years ago, today, you left me. But not before giving me what was, up until recently, the best night of my life. You came home to a broken, wounded man, a man who took from you without giving, who demanded from you what he needed without caring that you needed more. For that, I am sorry, but now, you've got all of him. Whole. Fulfilled. Complete. A man who promises to only take what you give, to need everything you are, to demand nothing but your happiness, to love you unconditionally, forever."

The door opened.

The ribbon fell to the floor.

He was standing before her holding a single rose and a black box. Saying nothing, looking into her tear-filled eyes, he knelt down, handed her the flower, and flipped open the box.

She looked from his worried face to the box, where a folded piece of paper lay. She lifted it with shaking fingers, unfolded it, and read, "Tonight, one question will be asked, one answer hoped for, and two lives altered beyond recognition. Look down."

She looked down, and her hand was in his, a princess-cut diamond on a simple silver bad now decorated her ring finger. "El?" she breathed.

"Surprise," he whispered, his own voice failing him. "Liv, will you..." he stopped to swallow the lump in his throat. "Will you marry me?"

Her right hand opened, dropping the hand-written notes to the carpet below. She dropped to the floor in front of him, both hands clutching his face, and she kissed him with everything she had, hoping it would be answer enough.

It was the smattering of applause and small sniffles coming from the hallway that broke their emotional kiss, and Olivia turned around to see four brightly smiling teenagers staring at her and Elliot.

She took another weak breath and asked, "Are you guys sure you're..."

"Yeah," Dickie said, nodding and wiping his eyes. "We're cool with it."

"More than cool," said Lizzie, sniffling.

Maureen and Kathleen nodded, afraid words would fail them or they'd say the wrong thing.

"Answer him," Lizzie prodded in a whisper.

Olivia laughed, turned to Elliot, and said a very soft, very sure, "Yes."

It was a simple proposal, with a simple question and a simple answer, but no one realized just how much more complex life would become.

**A/N: Final chapter coming soon. Two left! Have we seen the last of dominant Elliot? Will Andy try to pull something before it's too late? Answers. Soon.**


	22. Conception

**A/N: _Conception_**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

Elliot slammed down another shot, then dropped the empty glass with a sigh. "It wasn't like that, Fin," he said with a shake of his head.

Fin, next to him at the bar, chuckled. "Come on, man, she owns you. She followed you out of the interrogation room, yelled louder than…"

"I deserved it!" Elliot shouted. "Cragen would have done the same thing!"

"Yeah," Fin scoffed, "But you weren't fuckin' Cragen." He threw back another shot.

Elliot narrowed his eyes, holding a full shot glass in his hand. "I'm not fucking Liv, either."

"Come off it, man," Fin said, smirking. "Like hell you're not. And don't give me any of that 'it's more than that' shit, because it's not. You and I both know that with her, fuckin' is all it's ever gonna be."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Elliot barked.

Fin laughed. "You think she's gonna marry you," he said, taking another shot, "She's married to the job. She proved that tonight, man. She has her priorities in line, and her job comes before you, before your kids, before…"

"She missed a meeting with Eckerson and the chief to take my son to his soccer game," Elliot said, his eyes boring into Fin's skull. "She leaves earlier and comes home later, but God damn it, she's fully committed to me and the…"

"She should be committed," Fin interrupted. "But she's not. Who does what she did, Stabler? Takin' a job she can't handle, steppin' up to people the way she does, gets involved with you and…" he looked at Elliot. "Where are you goin?"

"Home," Elliot said, throwing money down on the bar. "I'm two seconds away from punching you. Again. I promised Liv I wouldn't do that." He shook his head and walked away, leaving Fin to finish his drink alone.

* * *

><p>He heard the door open at half-past midnight, and he pulled off his shirt as he sat up on the bed.<p>

She walked into the bedroom, smiling, and threw her suit jacket into the hamper. She took another step before he stopped her.

"You're late," he spat, stern and dark. He shifted his weight and shoved down his sweatpants, threw them off to the side, and folded his arms behind his head.

"I had a lot of paperwork," she said, taking in the sight of him, naked and outstretched on the bed. She licked her lips. "Eckerson had me in his office for two hours, cleaning up the mess you…"

"Strip, and get on the bed," he demanded gently, hiding the smirk on his face. "Now."

She raised an eyebrow, and she had to fight the urge to grin. Without saying anything, she complied. Her fingers moved slowly over her blouse buttons as she stepped closer to the bed.

He grew impatient, then, and wrapped an arm around her waist. He pulled her down to the mattress roughly. "You're taking too long," he hissed, grabbing the zipper on her pants and pulling down hard.

Confused, she questioned him. "El, what are you…"

"Quiet," he commanded, shoving her black slacks over her hips. He smiled only slightly, using his legs and feet to urge the fabric down and off of her completely. He slid his left hand into her cotton panties, finding her slit slick with wetness. He dragged two fingers through her folds and watched her face contort with pleasure and surprise.

Her hands gripped the sheets tightly, her hips bucked upward, her eyes shut tight. "Elliot, the kids are…"

"At their grandmother's with their mother," he said, his voice firm. He pushed one finger into her and said, "You know I have a problem with authority. You know it makes me a bit…volatile…don't you?"

"Yeah," she breathed, trying to match the rhythm of his thrusting finger with her hips.

"Tonight, Captain Benson," he said, a wicked gleam in his eyes, "You are in serious trouble." He added another finger and watched her bite her lip. His eyes softened when he looked at her, betraying his emotions, but he kept up the dominating tone. "Very serious."

She felt him move his fingers faster, thrusting them harder. "God, El, I…"

"Shut up, Liv," he ordered. "You did enough talking tonight."

She held in the laugh and bit her lip. She knew he deserved the suspension, and she was just doing her job. She knew that he knew, too, and didn't take it personally, but she also knew that this was what he needed to prove to himself that he held some authority where it mattered.

His touch was soft despite his roughness, his words were harsh but his kiss was light, sweet. He loved her, he loved loving her, and he knew after a night like she had, she had to let go of the reins and lose control. This was just as much for her as it was for him. His left hand came back to meet his right, and he tore the cotton away from her body as he moved his fingers faster and harder still.

"Oh my God, Elliot," she sang. His name fell off of her lips in a low groan as he twisted his fingers again. She loved the nights like this, when he was both rough and gentle, domineering and passionate, taking control but giving her everything she needed and wanted, as he promised he would do when he proposed to her. Thinking back to that night made her wetter, made her moan louder.

"Don't come yet," he told her. He kissed her hard, deep, and pulled back slowly. He chuckled evilly and thumbed over her clit twice slowly then flicked at it for a full minute, loving the way it makes her whine and keen.

"Elliot," she moaned, her knuckles turning white as they gripped the sheets beneath her tighter. She clenched around him despite her best efforts to hold off her spasms.

"Not yet, Liv," he said threateningly, pulling his hand away from her body. He lifted his two wet, glistening fingers to her lips and brushed them gently over her mouth. "You have to wait for me tonight," he said just before slamming his mouth over hers, kissing her deeply. Tasting her. Loving it.

Her deeply rooted moaning was muffled by his kiss. She was held down, bound by his strong body, as he skimmed his palms over her beaded nipples and up her neck. She trembled beneath him, her body rising and falling with every shallow breath.

He pressed into her with a soft grunt, stopping with only his tip inside of her, and stopped kissing her only long enough to say, "You don't move, don't speak, got it, baby?"

She nodded, her lips pressed together, her eyes wide open.

He thrust in harder, moaning her name. "God, yes, baby. Look at me," he said to her with a hard breath. "I wanna watch you. Keep your eyes open"

She nodded again, her eyes fixed on his as her body bent to his will. Her hands fell away from the knotted sheets and looped around his back. Her fingertips ran up and down his back, feeling every muscle ripple beneath his skin as he hit into her.

He dropped his head, kissing her again, as he worked harder for her, thrusting into her deeper.

She dug her nails into his back, earning a growl from him, and she pulled up, marking him from his lower back to his neck. "Fuck, El…"

"Shh," he said, a harsh hush. "Don't talk," he reminded her, lifting his head and looking down into her eyes. He was silent, staring at her as he moved. Their breaths grew rapid but stayed in sync, both bodies writhed and met with a loud slap with every thrust.

Intense. The only word to describe it. She watched his eyes darken, his pupils dilate, his lip curl. She felt his body stiffen as he moved faster, she moaned and arched her back as he hot spots deep inside of her that made her completely weak.

"Look at me," he said with a clenched jaw as he watched her eyes slide closed. He pecked her chin with small kisses until she opened her eyes, and as soon as they met his, he moved one hand between their bodies and flicked at her clit the way he had before.

"Oh, my God, El," she whined, her head falling back.

"Look at me," he repeated, watching her intently as she lifted her head. He moved his thumb in rapid circles as he slammed into her hard and stilled. His head dropped, he shot into her, hot and fast.

She clamped over him only a few moments later, feral growl ripped from her throat and her nails burrowing deeply into his shoulder blades. The silence allowed her to feel everything, concentrating only on her physical state, it was pure and consuming.

He tried to hold himself up for a bit longer, but he was spent. He dropped to the side of her, pulling her on top of him and sighing as she flopped over him like an expensive blanket.

She was staring at nothing, listening to his heartbeat. "That was…"

"Yeah," he said softly, kissing her forehead. "Yeah. Baby."

She smiled and took a deep breath, running her nails up and down the side of his body, calming them both.

It was quiet. A comfortable quiet as they settled around each other. He lifted a leg and wrapped it around her. She chuckled as she looped her other arm under him and nuzzled his chest. Two words. That's all it took to turn the mood around.

"I'm quitting."

**A/N: Who said it? What do they mean? Why were they spoken?**


	23. Revelation

**A/N: _Revelation_**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

"What?" Elliot spat, sitting up so fast and with such force that Olivia was thrown off of him. "What are you...are you crazy?"

She looked at him, stunned, not having expected that reaction. "I just...El, I thought that..."

"We've got four kids! A wedding to plan and pay for! You wanna quit, because...what, you can't take the jibes and nasty looks from Fin? You're the fucking boss, fire his ass!"

"This isn't about Fin, Elliot!" she yelled back.

He scoffed at her and said, "Then what is it? You think you're not doing good enough? You think Andy's after something more than just...is that it? You're working too close to him, you still have feelings for him, Liv?"

"Give me a break," she moaned, rolling her eyes. "If I had feelings for Andy, I wouldn't be lying naked in this bed with you right now!"

His eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"If I wanted him, Elliot, I'd be with him!" she shouted. "I'm with you! I want you! And my decision has noting to do with Andy Eckerson!"

"Then enlighten me, Olivia!" he boomed. "Why are you leaving a job you love more than anything out of fucking nowhere?"

She ran both hands through her hair and squeezed her eyes shut. "Because I don't love it more than anything anymore! I love you and...I want to be a mother, Elliot!"

Silence filled the space between them. Elliot went from red to white.

"Are you..." he began to ask, slowly reaching for the sheet around her body.

"No," she whispered, wiping a tear that had somehow been born form anger and frustration. "Not...not yet. But I wanna be, El. I want...I mean I think I could be...but...I don't want to be behind that desk for sixteen hours a day when I'm pregnant."

"So...you're just gonna quit?" he asked, seeming more hurt than angry now. "Just like that? You can work and be a mother, Liv, you always said you..."

She laughed softly and shook her head. "I thought about it, El," she whispered. "A lot. And this is gonna sound ridiculous, but I..."

"You do sound ridiculous," he snapped, interrupting her. He moved closer to her and stared into her eyes. "You're not quitting," he told her. "Not until you really are pregnant, because if it hasn't happened yet the way we go at it..."

"Exactly," she said, biting her lip. "I think...I need to quit now, so that if there's something wrong with me..." she sighed. "I can't run a unit while I'm on hormone injections, with all those doctor appointments, all that stress and worry on top of..."

"Hey, hey," he said, his voice a little calmer as he wiped another tear she probably didn't know had fallen. "There's nothing wrong with you, baby. I just wish...I wish you would have told me sooner."

She sniffled. "What would that have changed?"

"Well," he sighed, leaning back on the mattress and pulling her close to him, "We could have avoided the fight we just had, and we could have been trying already, and I wouldn't have threatened Fin ten thousand times to back off of you because you were the captain and you weren't going anywhere."

She laughed as he kissed her forehead. "So what do we do?"

He kissed her lips softly. "Tomorrow we go to a doctor, we'll both get a full work up, if there's no problem, we'll work a little harder at it. If there is, we'll fix it." He kissed her again. "Right now," he whispered, running his hand down the curve of her body, "We try the old fashioned way, one more time."

She shook her head at him as she chuckled, then kissed him tenderly, feeling him slip inside of her with ease and begin a slow, easy thrust. She knew he was moving slow, with purpose, intent on giving her what she wanted.

He gripped her hips and hit into her deeply, letting soft grunts escape his busy lips as he continued kissing her. He murmured her name over and over as he moved, but was stunned when he felt her hands on his chest, pushing him down. He smirked, grinning as she moved on her own, not speeding up but using more force. His eyes traveled down to her bouncing breasts, then slowly up her neck and to her passion-filled eyes.

She watched his lips move, his noiseless vow hitting her ears as though he'd really spoken. She smiled and bent over closer to him, her body still riding him hard and slow. "I love you, too," she whispered, her eyes never leaving his.

* * *

><p>"You're late," Fin complained, rolling his eyes as Olivia and Elliot walked into the bullpen. "Ain't you supposed to be the first one here?"<p>

"I was here at five," she said without looking at him. "I left at six-thirty for a doctor's appointment, it's seven-thirty now. According to the time clock in the lobby you just got here, so you're the late one."

Fin paled and cleared his throat. "Right," he said softer. "Doctor? You okay?"

With her hand resting on the doorknob to her office, she couldn't help the small yet almost sad smile on her face. "Just fine, Fin," she said, then walked into the tiny room and closed the door behind her.

Fin looked first at Munch, sharing a surprised look, then turned to Elliot. "She really okay, or is that her usual 'I'm not okay at all but just gonna say I'm fine because I'm too proud to let anyone know I'm human' thing?"

"She's fine," Elliot said, narrowing his eyes at Fin. "She's just...going through something right now. We, uh...we both are."

"Something serious?" Munch asked, concerned.

Elliot smiled at the older man. "Nah," he said. "It's complicated, but nothing bad." He ran a hand through his hair and coughed a bit. "So where are we on this Henderson thing?"

Fin stood and walked over to Elliot, then looked back at the captain's door. "You sure she's okay?"

"She's perfect, Fin," Elliot said, sighing. "Did you talk to the girl's..."

"Question," Fin interrupted. "Just...I gotta know...you two ever do it on her desk?"

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Shut up, man!" he huffed. Then he looked at the playful seriousness in Fin's eyes. "Yes," he answered. "A couple of times. Now can we get back to..."

"Excuse me," a voice called form the doorway. "Am I interrupting?"

Heads turned, eyes widened, Elliot folded his arms. He cleared his throat as Fin and Munch rushed by him to shake the hand of their former captain. He couldn't bring himself to greet the man, though, still holding a bit of a grudge for the accident that could have killed his daughter.

Cragen met his eyes, nodded once, and asked, "Is Olivia..."

"In her office," he said, tossing a thumb over his shoulder.

Cragen smiled, patting both Fin and Munch on the shoulder, and he made his way through the room toward the door, knocking when he stood in front of it.

"Come in," Olivia's voice called, "Just shut the door behind you, El."

"I'm not Elliot," Cragen said, closing the door and stepping toward her desk.

She looked up at the sound of his voice and froze.

"How are you, Olivia?" he asked, sitting in a chair.

She was looking at him, staring really, shocked and unsure of her emotions. "Don," she whispered. "Hi. Um, I'm...I'm good. How are you?"

"Better than ever," he said. "I have you to thank for that. Well, you and Elliot really, but he won't talk to me. I understand why."

"Not that I'm not thrilled to see you, but...what are you doing here?" she asked, dropping her pen and folding her hands.

Cragen took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I needed to come back and tell you...tell you why I started drinking again."

"You told me," she said, her eyes squinting. "You said after your heart attack that..."

"That was only part of it," he told her, taking an envelope out of his jacket pocket. He handed it to her. "I found this...in an old file when I cleaned out my office. It...it's about your..."

"Father," she whispered, reading the folded paper she'd taken out of the envelope. "So...this whole time...she knew? How did she...I have my birth certificate at home, so how is this even..."

"My guess is she didn't want to say anything to the cops and thought putting his name down was a mistake, she was afraid he'd come back for you," he told her, biting his lip. "She had a lot of friends, a few of them nurses, she probably got a second certificate printed and took his name off of it. It took everything I had not to tell you..."

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" she interrupted, irritated. "I've been looking for him for years!"

"Look at the name, Olivia," he said, leaning closer to her. "That alone scared me into...well, I obviously couldn't come back to work, even if I was healthy enough. I had him twice, let him go twice. You and Elliot interrogated him once for crying out loud."

She ran a hand through her hair and licked her lips. "So you're saying the real reason you started drinking again was because you blame yourself for letting him..."

"Yes," he said, nodding. "You fought. The whole time, you and Elliot tried to find reasons to hold him until we had more evidence, but I...I forced your hand and told you to let him go. He could have been paying for what he did to those women, your mother included, and I just..."

"You didn't know," Olivia said, folding the yellow birth certificate and putting it back in the envelope. "But now that you do, and I do, it's...it's over. The man's dead."

Cragen ran a hand down his face. "He died a free man, Olivia. Without ever having answered for anything."

Olivia smirked. "This is one of those steps, isn't it? In your program?"

"Am I that transparent?" he asked her with a chuckle.

"No," she said. "But I know you would never come back here and do this if it didn't really matter to you somehow. You said it yourself. Until now, you had no intention of ever telling me."

"This is why you're the best detective this city's got," Cragen said. "You're intuition is always spot on, you're emotions are always in check, you handle everything that's thrown at you with poise and...ya know," he said, tilting his head. "That's why you're going to make a great mother."

Olivia's eyes widened. "Who told you?"

Cragen laughed and got out of his seat. "You just did," he said with a wink. "There's something in the mail for you and Elliot. Call me when you get it." He left her office and closed the door, leaving Olivia with a stunned look on her face and a hand on her stomach, hoping the decision she and Elliot had made that morning was the right one.

**A/N: Hmmm...is she or isn't she? It's complicated.**


	24. Affirmation

**A/N: **_**Affirmation**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU belongs to Dick Wolf. This story is all mine. TStabler**

"Ow!" she seethed, her eyes squeezed shut. "Jesus, El."

"Sorry, sweetheart," he cooed, soothing his palm over the reddened flesh of her ass. "There's no gentle way to do that." He pulled up the fabric of her pants and turned her around. He kissed the end of her nose and tossed the empty syringe into the waste bin next to her desk.

She zipped her slacks and folded her arms. "The sex twice a day I don't mind at all," she said, "But these injections and the pills…"

"Two weeks," he interrupted. "Doctor Goldberg said your test results were inconclusive, to do all of this just in case, and go back in two weeks. So we are." He shook his head and said, "You're not the only one making sacrifices, honey. You don't have to drink that chalky shit every morning. Do you know how long I'm in the bathroom after…"

"Yeah, I do," she chuckles. "I live with you." She looked away from him and checked her watch. "Shit," she hissed. "I have a meeting with Andy in ten minutes, I gotta go." She kissed him and walked out of her office.

He sighed, watching her go with a smile, staring out of the still-opened door. He lifted his eyes a little higher and whispered, "I know you've already given me four, but this time…this time I am asking you for one." He closed his eyes and exhaled, then left the captain's office blinking away the tears that he couldn't let fall.

* * *

><p>Olivia made it to Andy Eckerson's office, she knocked on his door and had to steady herself, the Metrodin making her not only dizzy but achy.<p>

Andy opened his door to see her gripping the wall tightly, her eyes closed, her breathing deep. "Olivia!" he gasped, looping an arm around her and guiding her into the office. He helped her sit and stared, worried, at her. "What's the matter?"

Olivia shook her head and took another deep breath, then opened her eyes. "I'm fine, just…maybe I'm a little…I'm okay. What…what did you need to see me for?"

Andy narrowed his eyes as he got up and moved to the water cooler in the corner. He filled a plastic cup and moved as fast as he could back over to Olivia. "Tell me what this is all about," he said, handing her the cup. "I've known you for most of my adult life, and you have never looked like you were gonna pass out."

She straightened up and took a long swallow of water. She let out a refreshed gasp, then handed him the empty cup. "I'm, um…well my doctor thinks I could be pregnant, but my hormone levels are all over the place, so it's not really clear if…so I'm on these shots of…"

"Pregnant?" Andy interrupted. "With…with Stabler?"

"No," she answered with a stone-faced expression. "With Munch."

Andy dropped his eyes and shot her a look. "Not funny," he said, still holding her used cup. "You know he…he already has four kids. Fully grown kids. You really think he wants a baby right now?"

She folded her arms. "You needed to talk to me about by unit's psych evals," she snapped. "Get to it, and get off the topic of…"

"I just don't think you should be having children with this guy, Olivia," Andy said, shaking his head. "He…he left one wife so what makes you think…"

"Andy! Stop it! Jesus!" she shouted, standing too fast and getting woozy again. She stumbled, falling into Andy's waiting arms.

He looked down at her, into her embarrassed and still angry eyes. "What happened to us, Olivia?" he asked in a whisper.

She righted herself, ran a hand through her hair, and said, "Which one of my guys does Huang want to have committed?"

Admitting defeat, Andy walked over to his desk and handed her a few files. "None of them," he said. "But he thinks Fin needs sensitivity training, and he wants Elliot to meet him once a month for anger management, as per your orders and that last suspension."

Furrowing her brow, she took the files and rested her right hand on her hip. "You called me all the way down here to…"

"As your IAB Sergeant," he broke in again, "I'm making a strong recommendation that you make a choice, here, Olivia." He met her eyes. "It's either a personal relationship or a professional one."

"He's not my partner," she returned. "There's nothing in the…"

"But you haven't assigned him a new one, you've been taking lead on his calls," Andy argued. "You're having your cake and eating it, and frankly, I'm disgusted at your lack of respect for the policies of this institution."

Olivia smirked. "You're jealous." She took a step toward him. "You were okay with this until you found out he asked me to marry him, and now that we're working on a family of our own, you're…you really can't stand losing."

Andy sat behind his desk. "I expect to see a personnel file on Detective Stabler's new partner on my desk tomorrow morning," he said, not looking at her. "I think you can show yourself out, Captain Benson."

Olivia shook her head. "You asked what happened to us," she whispered. "I was ready for you, for everything I have with Elliot…I wanted it with you. You were reckless and selfish and I couldn't risk losing you because you lived for the chase, Andy. I haven't seen you in years, I fell in love, I'm happy, and I will never be sorry about that. But I am sorry that you can't move on."

He looked at her then, the look on her face shooting him right in the heart.

"I'm not giving him a partner," she continued, "But in two weeks, by the grace of God, you won't need to hold that over my head anymore." She cleared her throat and walked out of his office, leaving him to wonder what she meant.

* * *

><p>"Sensitivity training?" Fin balked. "What the fuck for?"<p>

Munch peered at him over his glasses. "Gee, Fin, I haven't a clue."

Elliot scoffed. "Could be the raging misogynist you've become since Liv got her promotion," he mumbled. "Or the fact that yesterday you told the mother of a rape victim that she should be thankful it wasn't worse."

Olivia held up both hands. "Enough," she huffed. "This isn't coming from me. You wanna keep your badge, you go to the damned seminar, Fin. And you," she said, turning to Elliot and pointing, "Are in that man's office the first Monday of every month to get a handle on your lack of self-control."

He smirked at her. He knew there were nights when she willingly let him have all of the control he wanted, losing himself in the fantasy of possessing her. He licked his lips at the impure thought and said, "You got it, Captain."

She shot him a playful yet warning look. "I'm serious. This could cost you…"

"I get it," he interrupted. "I will be there, pouring my heart out and venting to George."

"Good," she returned, folding her arms. "Fin, you and Munch…"

"Hold up," Fin spoke. "I have to go to some stupid thing about bein' nicer to the ladies, Hot-Head-Harry over there's gotta have a one-on-one with the doc about his testosterone levels, but Munch…the guy who believes in aliens and radioactive tacos, he doesn't have to do shit about anything?"

Olivia shrugged. "Nope, sorry." She looked at both Fin and Munch. "Talk to Angela Deverou's father again, get him to talk about that night. He knows something and he's not telling us."

Elliot turned his head to look at them over his shoulder. "Just keep Fin away from Angela's mother," he said.

"Shove it, Stabler," Fin barked, leaving the room.

Munch just rolled his eyes as he followed his partner, leaving Olivia and Elliot alone in the bull pen with the lower-ranked officers and support staff.

"Well," Elliot said, leaning forward, "What do you want me to do, Cap?"

"You can stop calling me that," she said, folding her arms. "You're getting laid tonight whether you suck up or not."

He chuckled. "You're my captain, Captain," he teased. "Just giving you the respect of the title."

"Pick up the lab results," she said with a nod of thanks. "Warner's report, the text log from Morales, and Cranden in the lab should have the DNA back from the rope."

He stood and saluted with two fingers, winked, and walked out of the room. It only took him seven seconds to peek his head back in. "Come with me."

She rolled her eyes and rose from the corner of his desk, where she'd been sitting, and laughed a bit as she fell in step with him, heading for the morgue.

* * *

><p>They'd only been home for three hours. They'd run into the house and up the stairs, got themselves into the bedroom an undressed in mere moments, and spent the other two hours and fifty-seven minutes working each other over.<p>

Elliot counted to himself each time he brought her to that blessed peak, taking his time doing it, moving fast and building her up then slowly backing down, then driving her up again before she could calm completely. He dragged out each orgasm, making them intense and lingering, and his lips never left hers.

Her body molded to his, wrapped around his, melted to his. She moaned and writhed beneath him, quivering with each wave of release as he teased it out of her. When she finally felt as though she couldn't take anymore, he came, in her and for her, a prayer leaving his lips along with her name.

He stayed there, still, kissing her back down from her final high, bringing himself down with her, then rolled to the side and brought her out from under him. "I definitely think…if you weren't pregnant before…you are now."

She chuckled and nestled against him, but he shot up suddenly. "What…"

"Pills," he breathed, almost leaping out of the bed. "You're supposed to take them at night." He ran, naked, into their bathroom, fumbling to find the bottle the doctor had given her.

"Hon," she yelled to him. "Downstairs!"

He folded his arms and looked at her. "I have to put pants on for that," he grumbled.

"Poor baby," she laughed, watching him pull on a pair of sweats.

"Water or juice?" he asked, his hand on the knob.

"I love you," she returned, smiling at him.

He blew her a kiss and left the room. "Water," he decided as he made it into the hall.

Olivia settled down on the mattress, visions of nursery decorations swarming in her head, when she heard a whooping cry from downstairs. "El?" she called, sitting up again. She heard his hurried footsteps. She watched him run back into the room. "What the hell is…"

"You…you…I…we…" he held up a pregnancy test, standing up in a cup. It was clearly positive. "Baby!"

Olivia's face fell. "El, that…"

"I knew that doctor did something wrong, I mean, come on, guy like me with four kids, girl with your genetic and physical…"

"El," she tried again, but he was rambling clearly beyond excited.

"Names! We need names. Nothing stupid like Chiffon or Apple…or weird like Kal-El or Moon Unit…"

"Elliot!" she shouted.

He shut up, he looked at her. "What?"

"Honey, that…um…" she cleared her throat. "That's not mine."

His eyes narrowed, he looked at the cup and pink stick in his hands, and he knew that his life was suddenly now more complicated than he ever thought it would be.

**A/N: Whose is it?**


	25. Evolution

**A/N: _Evolution_**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

Elliot stood in his living room, the cup and pink stick shaking slightly in his hand. "Well?" he questioned. "Anyone wanna talk about this?"

Maureen squinted. "Is that..."

Lizzie interrupted her. "Oh, my God! Congrats, Liv! This is so cool! Can I name it?"

"It's not Olivia's," Elliot said, eying his two older daughters.

Kathleen's mouth dropped. "You...you cheated on...is it Mom's?"

"No!" Elliot shouted. "No, I...obviously, if it isn't Liv's and it was in the bathroom in this house..." he took a deep breath. "Just...tell me. I'm not gonna be mad, I swear. I..."

"It's not mine, trust me," Maureen said. Her arms were folded. "You'd have a reaffirmed belief in Jesus if it was."

Elliot sighed and laughed a bit. "Thank God for that, honey," he quipped with a nod. "Kat? Katie, honey, I..."

"Oh," the middle daughter scoffed. "Just because you know I'm not a virgin, it has to be mine?"

"Stop it!" Dickie yelled, standing suddenly. "Stop interrogating them like they're your suspects, Dad! It's mine, okay?"

Elliot was silent. He looked from his son to the cup in his hands, then back to his son. "Now is not the time to be protecting your sisters, spud."

Dickie closed his eyes and exhaled. "Not mine, personally, but...that baby..." He ran a hand through his hair and turned his back on his father. "It's Hannah's," he whispered.

Olivia went white, her eyes darted to Elliot. She saw the fear and disappointment flashing in his eyes as his nostrils flared. She didn't pretend to understand, but she knew that part of him felt like he was watching himself at that age.

"Are you...are you sure?" Elliot asked his son, stepping closer to him.

Dickie nodded. "Yeah," he said, trembling. "I didn't know how to...how to tell you...I..." He turned his head and smirked ironically. "Like father, like son, I guess."

Elliot gulped, then put the cup and test down on the mantle of the fireplace. "Girls, go get in the car. Liv, can you..."

"I'll drive them to school," Olivia said, knowing. "I'll just...see you at work." She offered Dickie a small smile, then followed the girls out of the house.

As soon as the door was closed, Elliot's hand swooped over his face. "I'm not...I'm not gonna yell at you."

"No?" Dickie questioned, the vulnerability in his voice surprising him.

Elliot shook his head and moved to the couch, sitting in the warmth Olivia had left behind. "No," he sighed. "My father...my father yelled like Hell when I told him your mother was pregnant. Don't forget, kid, I've been where you are."

Dickie folded his arms and sat next to his father. "So you...are you gonna make me..."

"I'm not gonna make you do anything," Elliot interrupted. "Marrying your mother...it wasn't a mistake, I loved her, it just...we weren't ready and it destroyed what was left of our youth. I'm not gonna put you through that. But I am gonna say this..."

"Here we go," Dickie said, preparing himself.

"Not gonna yell, remember?" Elliot affirmed. "I'm going to tell you that you will be man, a Stabler, and take responsibility for this child. You will not leave Hannah alone, you will not reject this kid, do you understand?"

Dickie nodded. "I wasn't planning to," he said. "I'm just...scared. Dad, I'm so scared."

"Oh, buddy," Elliot huffed. "I know exactly what you feel like right now, and that fear...it never goes away." He looked up and licked his lips. "You just find more and more to be afraid of, and you're in a much better place than I was."

"So, you're not gonna kick me out, then?" Dickie asked. "I've been up all night scared to death that when I told you, you'd...I know what Grandpa did to you and Mom, so I..."

"Oh, Dickie..." Elliot breathed, shaking a bit, and rested his hand on his son's shoulder. "I'm gonna say something to you that I wish my father would have said to me, okay? I mean every word of it."

"Okay," Dickie nodded.

"Liv and I will be here, for whatever you need," Elliot said, tears in his eyes. "I'm not kicking you out, I'm not forcing you to marry her, I'm not making you give up your dreams to make things right, because I trust that you'll decide what's right for yourself. I'm not happy about this, I'm beyond pissed and I'm upset, and I think I'm having a heart-attack, but...I am your father, and I love you. I'm gonna get you through this."

Dickie looked at his father, his bottom lip trembled. He sniffled and tried like Hell not to let it happen but it did. He threw his arms around his father and cried, only breathing again when he felt his father hug him back.

* * *

><p>Elliot knocked on Olivia's door and turned the knob at the same time. "Hey," he said, his eyes darting around the room to make sure they were alone.<p>

Olivia looked up from the file in her hands. "Hey," she returned, watching him as he sat down. "How's Dickie?"

He pressed his lips together and shook his head, telling her without words that he didn't wanna talk about it. "It's almost one o'clock," he said, tapping on her desk. "I came in here to give you your..."

"About that," she interrupted. "I was thinking about this...all morning...and I understand if you'd..." She bit her lip. "With this in our laps, now, I won't be mad or upset if you don't want..."

"What?" he broke in, standing. He moved toward her and sat on the edge of her desk. "What?" he repeated.

"I just think...maybe we shouldn't be having a baby right now, if we have to deal with two teenagers having one." She blinked. "I know this is hard for you, and..."

He cupped her chin with one hand. "And I want this with you," he whispered. "Liv, I want a kid of our own, more than anything, and we can do this. I'm not giving up on us so I can be stronger for my son. We can be there for him and take care of ourselves at the same time, I got this. Why does nobody get that? I'm not my father, damn it!"

"Whoa," she said, moving away from him. "No one said you were, El." She was the one holding his face in her hands now. "You are nothing like him," she told him.

"Right," he nodded, taking a sharp breath. "But Dickie is just like me." He blinked and shook his head. Then brushed her off of him and opened her top drawer. He wrapped his hand around a clean syringe and broke the seal. He tapped it and flicked it, then looked at Olivia. His eyes were red with refusal to cry and he cleared his throat. "Bend over."

She let out a hard breath and moved her chair back, and she stood before him. She felt him tugging at the fabric of her pants, and she felt the jab of the needle. She squeezed her eyes shut, but didn't complain. She felt that she didn't have the right. His pain, right now, was much worse than hers.

He wiped the red spot with an alcohol pad, then fixed her pants. He ran a hand up her back, kissed her neck, and whispered, "I love you." He paused. "Captain."

She gave him a small, breathy laugh, kissed his lips, and whispered, "I love you, too, Detective Stabler." She gave him another soft kiss. "Go home," she told him. "You've got too much on your mind right now to be here, you almost broke down twice already today, and Dickie needs you. He'll be home, soon."

He nodded and kissed her again, his heart filling with more love for her. He gave her hand a squeeze and said, "I would never ask you to sacrifice anything for me, you know that, don't you?"

She nodded. "I just didn't want..."

"We," he stepped on her words. "It's what we want now. Any decision we make about anything, we make together, clear?"

She kissed him again and said, "Go, El."

He kept his eyes on her as he walked backward toward the door. He tossed the needle into the bin and finally turned, heading home to face his past. And his future.

* * *

><p>She crept into the bedroom, her eyes scanning the bed as she moved. She smirked at his sleeping form, the way the covers fell to the floor leaving his naked body exposed. She kept her eyes on him as she undressed, tossing her clothes into the overflowing hamper.<p>

She thought for a moment about how things will work if neither of them ever does laundry, but she shook it off and slipped into the bed. Her body draped over his, the way the blanket would, and she dropped her lips to his, languidly kissing him awake. She felt his hands moving, heavily and slowly, up her thighs and over her hips. She heard him moan, felt it against her mouth, and for the moment, the drama of the day was forgotten and all she remembered was his promise to her.

He turned his head and blinked his eyes open, letting out a small snort of laughter. "Fuck, I thought I was dreaming," he told her before he grabbed her tightly and rolled her over. With his lips on her neck, he asked, "Where were you?"

She moaned and her eyes fluttered shut as she answered. "Paperwork," she panted, her muscles twitching as his fingers glided over her body.

He dragged his thumb over her clit once before inching two thick fingers into her, readying her for his next move, one he'd been waiting to make for hours.

She dug her nails into the rounded, bulging muscles of his arms, hearing him curse as skin snapped and broke. "El," she breathes, aware that this was different, something in his touch was severe.

He moved his fingers deep and hard, his lips still lingered over her pulse, and his other hand was stroking his girth to rod-like hardness. He shifted over her, slipped his fingers away from her, and thrust once, hitting her flesh with his own. He grunted as he watched her back arch beneath him, grinned at the look of pure ecstasy on her face, and he whispered, "So fucking hot." He bent his head and kissed her chin and her lips, staying still until the pressure in her waned.

She brought her head up then, meeting his eyes, and she bit her lip in anticipation. She stared at him as he thrust again, soft moans were exchanged, and she noticed the lack of space between them. Not even a centimeter of air between his body and hers, every slide of his body was flush against hers.

His eyelids fell, his head dropped, his forehead rested on her chest as he pushed into and pulled out of her in a steady rhythm. He took a deep breath and took a nipple into his mouth, and he felt her hands cradle his head.

She felt him stiffening, her hips began to move with his in a race to the finish line, the sound of slapping skin filled the room.

Groans and prayers left his lips, her name was spoken like a Gregorian chant with every hit, and he lifted his head to look into her eyes.

She dragged two fingertips down the side of his face and her eyes widened , her body tensed, and she kissed him to muffle the loud cry of release as he brought waves of electricity out of her.

He snapped at that moment, suddenly moving harder and faster, drawing out her orgasm and triggering his own. Still moving, he pressed her further into the bed, trying to get deeper, closer, still cumming. It wasn't until he felt her hands on his chest that he stopped, stilled.

Both chests heaved, hurt, as they stared at each other, clearly wondering what had just happened.

Saying nothing, he kissed her.

She held him as his head dropped and he settled against her, and she realized what it was. It was him venting, releasing the stress and tension of the day, because through it all he refused to cry or yell. She kissed the top of his head and let her eyes close.

He smiled, half asleep, still inside of her, forgetting everything but her. At least, until the sun came up and his world both darkened and brightened with it's rise.

**A/N: ohhh...snap.**


	26. Premonition

**A/N: **_**Premonition**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Olivia's eyes darted from Elliot to Dickie, and then to the blonde sitting across from her. She sipped her water, eyeing the woman.

Kathy sighed, then, and spoke. "I wish you would have told me about this somewhere more private," she said.

Dickie shrugged. "Dad figured you couldn't yell at me in a restaurant."

Kathy looked at Elliot. "Yeah, he pulled that a lot when he didn't want me to yell at him." She turned back to her son. "Honey, you…you really shouldn't be making the same mistake that your father and I…"

"And what would you suggest he and Hannah do, Kathy?" Elliot interrupted. "If you even suggest what I think you're…"

"Times are different, now, Elliot," Kathy interjected. "They don't have to do this."

Dickie looked pleadingly at Olivia, who nodded, and then he looked at his mother. "Mom, I…I don't know if I love Hannah enough to marry her, but I know that…it's my responsibility, and my choice. I'm young, but I'm not a kid. I want to…"

"Dickie, honey," Kathy said, stopping him. "You're gonna go to college, you're gonna do a lot of…"

"Mom," Dickie said, shifting in his seat, "I am still going to school, and I'm still going to do all the things I wanna do. I'm just…I'm gonna do them with a kid. Dad even said if we needed help, he and Liv would…"

Kathy scoffed and her head turned. "Oh, he did?" she griped. "Well, he failed to include me in that conversation."

"Didn't think I needed to," Elliot said, taking a long gulp of the beer by his plate. "You don't need to be involved in decisions I make with my wife. Yeah, you're not my wife anymore. Did you forget that?"

Kathy's eyes narrowed. "Neither is she! You haven't married her yet!"

"Hey!" Dickie yelled, throwing his napkin. "Can we have one conversation that isn't about your failed marriage? I thought we came out here to talk about my options with Hannah, and to talk about what I need to do to get ready for this! This isn't about you!"

There was silence. Tension rose as the waiter came and brought their food. He took the salad plates and soup bowls, and dropped delicious looking meals in front of each person.

They were all still quiet when Olivia's eyes fluttered closed and she wavered a bit in her seat. "Oh, God," she said, covering her nose and mouth. "Excuse me." She shot to her feet, dropped her napkin on her seat, and ran for the bathroom.

Kathy stared after her for a moment. "Is she okay?"

Elliot chuckled. "She's fine," he said, cutting into his steak. "She's, um…I think we're gonna have…"

"Liv's probably pregnant," Dickie said, his arms folded. "Hope so, Hannah shouldn't go through this alone."

Kathy blinked and looked at Elliot. "Pregnant?"" she questioned. "You're not even married yet."

Elliot shrugged. "Like you said," he told her as he cut Olivia's chicken into pieces for her. "Times are different. Clearly, you don't have to be married to have kids. I'm not making Dickie and Hannnah…"

"Your father raised you better than that, Elliot," Kathy said, sounding disappointed.

"Obviously, he didn't," Elliot spat. "Our son is sitting right next to you, in the same place we were twenty years ago, so you wanna say that again?"

"He takes after you," Kathy sneered. "How could you let this happen, Elliot! Don't you pay attention to what they do in your house?"

Dickie raised both eyebrows as he turned to his mother. "We were at your place, Mom." He folded his arms. "It was the weekend you and Nick had that party. I wouldn't…Hannah and I never did anything at Dad's."

Elliot chuckled and sipped his beer again. "He's our son," he said. "We both raised him, so this isn't something you can blame solely on me. Not that blame is needed at all, Kathy. He made a choice, he made a mistake, just like we did." He dropped his glass and looked to his left as Olivia sat back down, looking slightly ill. "You okay?"

She took a deep breath and nodded, but ran a hand over her stomach. "I don't know what that was. I just…I took one whiff of this chicken and…" She shuddered.

Elliot kissed her forehead, then turned back to face his son. "Kiddo, you know where Liv and I stand on this. We will talk to Hannah's parents when we get home, and we'll make sure they feel the same way we do."

"Is this another conversation you're gonna leave me out of?" Kathy asked, huffing.

"No," Elliot said with a shake of his head. "You're more than welcome to come over and join the fun."

Kathy leaned forward on her elbows. "So, you really think this is gonna work?" She looked at Olivia. "You think you can handle raising your own child and their baby? No offense, Olivia, but you're not an experienced mother. I'm worried about you handling one, and you wanna help with…"

"Kathy!" Elliot barked, silencing her.

Dickie gave his mother a disheartened look, then turned to Olivia. He closed his eyes, seeing the hurt on her face. "Liv, come on, you know she's just being…"

Olivia's cell phone rang, stopping Dickie's words. She answered it as she pushed Elliot's hand away from her mouth, refusing his attempt at feeding her. "Benson," she snapped. "Yeah. I'll…I'll be right there. Don't let him out of your sight, Fin."

Elliot shook his head. "Oh, no," he grumbled. "What do we have…"

"Not we," she said. "Me. You take Dickie home and call Hannah's parents. This is…" she took a short, shaky breath. "This is something you should probably do with Kathy, anyway." She kissed him on the lips gently. "Keys?"

Looking at her narrowly, he dug into his pocket and handed her the keys. "I love you."

"I love you, too, El," she said, offering a smile. She nodded at Kathy as she stood up, then leaned over to give Dickie a kiss on the cheek.

The three left at the table watched her go, then Elliot chugged the rest of his beer. He cleared his throat and got the waiter's attention. "Yeah. I need this wrapped. Please?"

"Right away, Sir," the young man said, taking Olivia's chicken away.

The rest of the meal was reminiscent of his usual dinners with Kathy. They bickered, they contradicted each other, and Dickie was left to listen, wishing he could just go home, and praying for Olivia to come back soon.

* * *

><p>Elliot's head snapped up as he heard the door open and close. "Hey, baby," he said, putting the remote control down on the coffee table and sitting up. "What was that all about? You've never told me to stay behind. Since when do you go off to work on your own?"<p>

"El, it wasn't…I'm not your partner, remember? I'm your captain. This didn't involve you." She shook her head. "Fin brought in a suspect in the Rodriguez case," she said. "He's a cop. Brooklyn Narcotics. I had to run the interrogation with…"

"Andy," Elliot said with a nod. "He, uh, he sent you flowers, by the way." He pointed to the dining room table.

She ignored him. "How did your talk with Hannah's parents go? What did you and Kathy decide?"

Elliot took a breath. "Well, Hannah's mother is a piece of work. She…she said she knows what kind of girl her daughter is, and she's leery of the whole thing. She wants a paternity test, because she doesn't want Dickie to pay for someone else's mistake."

"What kind of mother thinks her own daughter would lie about something like that?" Olivia asked, sitting next to him.

"A very bitchy one?" he shrugged. "Hannah's upset and scared, her father refuses to pay for anything for them, and Kathy…God, Kathy gave them names of doctors and clinics and…priests." He scraped his teeth along his bottom lip. "This is hard, Liv. I know why my father didn't want to deal with it."

She ran a hand down his back, calming him. "Your father was stubborn. More stubborn than you. And he was a very religious man. I'm not saying you're not, but you understand that some things…"

"I know what you mean, honey," he said, leaning back against the seat. He pulled her into his arms. "We ultimately decided that, if the test proves it's Dickie's, that we would all help the kids out. I offered to let them stay with us, since I think Hannah's father would drive her crazy and Kathy would make her feel like shit."

She laughed. "Fine with me," she said. "And when the kids have to go to Kathy's?"

"Kathy begrudgingly agreed to let Hannah stay with her, every other week, just like the other kids." He kissed Olivia and ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know if things with Dickie and Hannah are serious, or if they're even gonna be together in a month, but Dickie made it clear he wants Hannah with him, every day, until that baby is born. If it's his."

Olivia smiled and kissed him again. "See? He really does take after you. You have every reason to be proud of him, despite this one transgression, El."

"I am," he said with a nod. He pulled her down as he flattened out on the couch. "So, you wanna tell me why Andy sent you flowers, or were you hoping I'd just let you not talk about it?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "He apologized for being an ass," she said, nuzzling into him. "He said he was jealous, but he knows he didn't have a right to be, and he's sorry he tried to come between us. He also gave us a fifty dollar gift card to that baby boutique on Madison."

"We'll need it," he chuckled. "We find out for sure tomorrow. But…Liv, I think this is it. I think you're having my baby."

She looked into his eyes, saw that he truly believed his words, and she nodded as she moved into him, kissing him slowly. "I think so, too," she breathed, then dropped her lips to his again. She let the kiss linger, grow, and she lost track of time as he got lost in him. When the need for air became too hard to ignore, she pulled away from him.

He whined at the separation. "Kiss me," he demanded like a child.

She chuckled, and then she spoke. "Ya know," she began, "I never thought we'd be here. You and me, like this. Kissing on your couch."

"Our couch," he whispered, pecking her lips. "More kissing now, please?"

She laughed and kissed him once, then said, "I always thought we had a weird relationship. You weren't just a partner, you weren't just a friend. You were somewhere between family and lover."

"And now I'm both," he spat. "Shut up and kiss me."

She looked into his eyes and her breath hitched. "I'm just saying…I'm glad it's not so complicated anymore." She bent her head and kissed him, moaning when his arms wound around her and his hands roved over her body. "El," she mumbled into his mouth. "Elliot."

"Hmm," he returned, refusing to part their lips. His hands slipped under her shirt, he tugged at her bra.

"Elliot," she mumbled, backing away from him. "El, honey, breathe."

"I am," he said, kissing her neck. "I'm breathing. You are my air."

She shivered at his words, and she moaned at his caress. "El, that…you…what you just...wow."

"Liv, baby," he sighed, closing his eyes. "I had a shitty day, and just when I thought I would get to spend my night off with the woman I love, you had to go to work and you left me alone with Kathy and my depressed son, so I had a shitty night, too. Can we please stop talking about all of the serious bullshit we have to deal with? Huh? Can you please just kiss…"

He was silenced when she moved, kissing him. She gave into him, the way she always had, the way she always would. But she knew that he couldn't say no to her, either.

Their determination to give into each other's every need paid off, though. Their doctor would assure them of that in the morning.

**A/N: This story has lasted far longer than I expected/intended. There is now more story to tell, so I thank you for continuing to read. Reviews welcome TracieOneSeven on Twitter**


	27. Progression

**A/N: **_**Progression**_

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Andy stared at the request forms in his hands, biting his lip. "Are you telling me what I think you're telling me?" he asked, unable to meet Olivia's eyes.

She nodded and smiled. "Yeah," she sighed. "I'm…I'm gonna be a mommy." She blinked, fighting back the tears that had been falling all morning. "I'm staying until my doctor tells me I have to take leave," she says, "But I can't be in the field. I'm...behind my desk for the next six months."

"Where you should have been since your promotion," Andy bites. "So you gonna cave? You gonna do what I told you to do and get Stabler a new..."

"Yeah," she sighed. "An old friend of ours is coming in today, so...we'll see how that goes." She ran a hand through her hair. "I think you met him. He used to work with the unit. Briscoe? His uncle, Lenny, was with Homicide for years."

"I knew Lenny," Andy nodded. "Helped me catch a fugitive a few years back. He was a good cop. Never met his nephew, though." He flipped the pages of the packet in his hand. "So he knows what to expect then. He won't throw up or pass out on you," he stated.

Olivia chuckled. "The only one in my unit who will be doing any throwing up is me," she said. And jokingly, she added, "Maybe Elliot."

Andy looked up at her then, he let his eyes wander over her body, and he sighed in thinking of how beautiful she was going to look as she grew. He smiled and said, sincerely, "Congratulations, Olivia."

"Thanks," she returned with a warm smile.

"You've wanted this for a long time, haven't you?" Andy asked, a mist in his own eyes he tried not to let her see.

She pressed her lips together for a moment. "Yeah," she said. "I can't tell you how close I was to giving up. But Elliot…"

"Wouldn't let you," Andy finished. "As much as he annoys me, he's one of the good ones, too. Good cop. Good man." He ran a hand down his face. "And he'd better be good to you, because I have the power to make his life a living hell."

"You already made that threat," she said, smirking. "If there's one thing I have learned to trust in the past year, it's that Elliot Stabler is probably the only person in the world who will never hurt me."

Andy chuckled. "I wouldn't." He shook his head sadly then. "Well, again." He cleared his throat. "When's the wedding?"

Olivia's eyes widened. She and Elliot had been focusing on having a child, and Dickie's situation, they hadn't even set a date. "We…uh…soon," she mumbled, standing up. "You can process those whenever you want. I will, uh, I'll be in my office."

Andy sighed as he watched her leave, knowing it was truly their last goodbye.

* * *

><p>"Come to bed," Elliot said, his voice gravelly, as he stood in the kitchen doorway and watched Olivia, perched at the kitchen island with files in her hand.<p>

She shook her head and rose to her feet. She walked toward the kettle on the stove and poured the hot water from it into a mug. She made a face as she brought the mug to her lips. "I hate this shit," she mumbled, sipping the decaf drink.

He walked toward her and caught her around the waist before she could sit back down. "You're having a baby," he whispered into her ear. A hand skimmed down to flatten over her belly. "My baby," he said with pride. "The rest of the kids are with Kathy, it's just you and me tonight. I want you in that room, in that bed, so we can celebrate this little life inside you, the right way."

She moaned as his lips grazed over her neck, shivered as his hands moved lower to the crotch of her pants. "Too much work to do," she mumbled, her mug of ginger tea forgotten on the counter.

He moaned and growled as he turned her around, then from behind her he skirted his palms up and down her body, paying attention to her nipples. "You're gonna be one hot momma, baby," he teased, his fingers tweaking and pulling her hardened buds. "You already are," he said, his hands falling from her chest to her waist.

She moaned and her eyes closed as she gripped the edge of the marble island. "El," she whispered. He was making her ache already, her body throbbing with want, wet with need.

He stifled a moan as he blindly worked the button of her pants open. "I lit candles," he said to her, sliding her zipper down. "There're rose petals all over the bed."

She bit her lip as she felt his chilly hand work its way between her flesh and her underwear. She gasped when his long fingers stroked her slit, teasing her. She trembled a bit, feeling the wetness gravitate toward his hand, and she gripped the top of the island harder when one of his thick digits pushed inside of her, and she bent forward, unaware that was what he wanted.

He chuckled and used his free hand to tug her pants and panties around her hips, letting them fall around her ankles. He bent over, then, too, and kissed the back of her neck. "The romance can wait," he breathed against her skin.

"Elliot," she moaned, tensing up a bit when a second finger was thrust into her. She moaned something unintelligible.

He kept working her, a slow rhythm building, as his other hand pulled apart the buttons of her shirt and shirked it off. He supported her when she moved her arms, and moaned when she wrapped them around his neck instead of putting them back on the table. He nipped at her shoulder, her neck, the top of her ear, as one hand fingered her deep and slow and the other fumbled for the front clasp of her bra.

She backed into him, her ass moving in time with his hand, rubbing against his hard length. She heard him groan, felt him get bigger against her backside. "Elliot," she whimpered, her body rocking, "Please?"

"Fuck," he hissed, swiping his thumb over her clit, trying to wriggle out of his sweatpants. "God, I love it when you do that, baby," he panted, twisting a hand in her hair and bending her forward gently. He hunched over behind her, vigorously rubbing his thumb over her aggravated bundle, and he licked a long trail from her lower back to the nape of her neck. He felt her shudder and smirked.

"Oh, God," she keened. "Love when I do what?"

He pried his fingers from her slick, hot core, and moved his hand to his shaft. He moaned, his eyes shut tight, as he felt her wetness coat him from root to tip as he stroked himself. He opened his eyes and looked back down at her, and his eyes narrowed. He pushed into her slowly, holding her hip for leverage as his other hand remained tangled in her long locks.

"Oh, my God, Elliot," she cried, her body taking all of him, sheathing him. Her head dropped back, her eyes rolled, and she could see him behind her, a wicked look on his face as he thrust. "Harder," she whispered.

"That," he spat, finally answering her question, sliding his hand from her hip to her neck. Stroking her. Caressing her. He bent forward, kissed her cheek, and breathed into her ear, "I fucking love the way you scream for me, the way you moan my name, the way you beg me for it. Harder, deeper, faster..."

"Oh, God, El," she moaned louder. She tried to look at him, craning her neck to the side to meet his eyes. Her mouth dropped open in a silent scream as she felt his hand dip back between her legs to fondle her clit again. Her lips pressed together on the fourth swipe of his thumb, and a small squeak left her closed mouth.

"Just like that, baby," he whispered, still right in her ear as his body seemed to meld with hers. "I love the way you whimper, the way you whine, and the way your eyes roll back right before you cum for me. Just for me."

And as if his words pushed a button, her eyes rolled back hard, a broad smile crossed her face, and her head fell forward toward the marble countertop. "Elliot," she moaned, "Oh, God, El."

He knew she was cumming, he felt her squeezing him and compressing him, he felt her warm slickness drip down his length, and he grunted as he thrust harder, not ready to let go himself yet. He looped one arm around her waist and pulled her hair back gently, lifting her away from the island. He spun her around, and he looked at her, his eyes dark and lust-filled.

She met his gaze with hazy eyes, still on a high from her moment of bliss, still feeling easy aftershocks ripple through her.

He slammed his mouth into hers, kissing her with eager hunger, as he swept his hand over the table, sending files, papers, forms, and pens flying about the kitchen floor. He grabbed her, then, as their lips remained locked, and lifted her up onto the marble.

She gasped, the cold stone meeting her hot skin, and she dug her nails into his shoulders, bracing herself.

He moved his tongue along her teeth, caressed the roof of her mouth, massaged her tongue as they kissed, and after a mental count to three, he hit into her.

Skin met skin with a loud smack as she cried out into his mouth and dug her nails a little deeper. She expected the rough, powerful thrusting, and for once she didn't have to beg him to go deeper. He was sinking into her more than he ever had, it seemed, and she moaned with every rock of her hips.

He pulled away from her mouth, looked into her eyes, gave her entire body a long, lingering gaze. Then he slowed his thrusts, he moved just as deep, just as hard, but at a much slower tempo. "Liv," he breathed, dropping his head to hers as his left hand splayed over her not-even-close-to-there bump. "My God, Liv."

She opened her eyes, something in his voice catching her attention, and she stopped breathing. She noticed the soft smile on his face, the tear running slowly down his cheek, and she noticed that he was looking down, at her stomach, at his hand, at his length moving back and forth, and he moaned whenever he watched it sink into her. She let one hand climb from his shoulder to his face, she wiped his tear. "El?"

He shook his head, he sniffled, and he kissed her, and he didn't let up until he felt her clenching around him again. He reared back and thrust forward hard, making sure every inch of him was encased by her body, over and over. He felt her shaking, heard her soft, high murmurs as he caught them in his mouth. Overcome with emotion and the need for release, he let her orgasm trigger his, and he grunted her name twice, firing off inside of her.

They held each other as they trembled. They kissed each other to a state of calm, and their hands roamed idly, feeling more than touching. "I love you," she whispered, her eyes closed, her forehead pressing against his.

"I love you more," he told her, stating it as a fact. And he opened his eyes to see the glimmering, bright eyes of his lover staring back at him. "More than anything. Anyone."

She brushed her thumbs under his eyes again, and gently kissed the end of his nose. They stayed that way for a few more moments, then she broke the tension. "You have to move," she told him, looking around at the mess they'd made. "My legs are numb, my ass is cold, and you…well, you know you have to stay out here with me and help me with all that paperwork now."

He laughed as he lifted her off of the island. "Can we do one thing first? I promise, I will help you with your captainly duties, just…this one thing."

She raised an eyebrow. "What?"

He kissed her as his hands locked around her waist, her naked, sweaty body pressing into his. "I really do have candles and roses in the bedroom," he whispered, kissing her. "It would be such a shame to waste them on tomorrow, when this moment, this night, is what matters. We're having a baby, Liv. Do you have any idea what that means to me?"

She smiled at him, nodded, kissed him tenderly, and whispered, "Take me to bed, Daddy."

He growled a bit, recalling the last time she used that moniker where he was concerned. "Every night, for the rest of my life, Mommy."

**A/N: Dickie is faced with a dilemma, someone unexpected wants to throw a baby shower, and the news reaches someone no one has heard from in a while. O..O **


	28. Repercussion

**A/N: _Repercussion_**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

"I think it would be nice," Elliot said, his lips curling. "If...ya know...you were doing this out of the goodness of your heart."

Melinda looked from Elliot to Fin, a horrified look on his face. "I am!" she nearly yelled. "What do you think I'm doing it for?"

"Well, let's see," Elliot said, feigning contemplation. "The last time you came anywhere near either of us, it was to get us suspended, because you wanted to get in my pants and you were pissed that you couldn't because Liv was already there."

A blush crept over her cheeks. "I...uh...no, that...that is not..."

"Relax, Stabler," Fin spat. "She wouldn't be throwin' it alone. I'm in. So's Munch. This is comin' from a good place. She's sorry for what happened," he said. Then he turned to her. "Aren't you?"

A twinge of resentment flickered in her eyes. "Sure," she said with a clenched jaw.

Olivia's door swung open, stopping all talk of babies and showers, and she marched toward the white-board with a black marker in her hand. She scribbled something, then ended it with several exclamation points. "Go," she said, turning to Elliot. "Take him with you," she added, gesturing to Ken Briscoe.

Elliot's eyes traveled over her written words, a name and an address. "Mother fucker," he hissed, getting out of his seat. "Think you can still do this?" he asked Ken.

Ken raised both eyebrows and exhaled sharply. "Guess we're about to find out."

Olivia watched Elliot and Ken leave, then shot around to Fin and Munch. "I need the two of you on the phone, now, because we are gonna be in the middle of a shit storm if we don't handle the press before this gets out. She raised an eyebrow then. "Don't you have a dead body to poke and prod?"

Melinda scraped her teeth over her bottom lip. "I was just...no, ya know what? I'm sorry, okay? There. I said it. I'm sorry for trying to get you in trouble because I was jealous, but I'm not anymore, so you...congratulations on the baby. When's the wedding?"

Olivia simply stared at her for a moment, then turned back to Fin and Munch. "Nothing but her name, and that we already have a suspect. No details. Not yet."

The two detectives nodded as they chatted on the phone, and Olivia gave Melinda a small nod before she went back into her office.

Melinda shrugged. "She's the type that holds a grudge, isn't she?"

"You have no idea," Munch quipped, as he dialed yet another number.

* * *

><p>Several hours and a lot of talking passed, Elliot and Ken were off talking to the victim's parents, Fin and Munch were still trying to keep the media coverage to a minimum. High profile cases needed to be handled delicately. Olivia was just about to call Andy, when she noticed someone who didn't quite belong there.<p>

"Excuse me?" a young redhead questioned as she walked further into the squad room. "I'm looking for, a, um, Captain Olivia Benson?"

"Right here," Olivia said, walking over to her. "Hi," she greeted, holding out her hand. "What can I do for you?"

The redhead sighed, running a hand through her bouncy curls. "Can we...um...talk somewhere...else?"

Thinking this was a victim about to come forward, she rested a hand on the girl's shoulder and led her into one of the private conference rooms. "Have a seat, sweetie," she said. "Can I get you a drink?"

The girl shook her head. "No," she said. "Thank you. I know I probably shouldn't be here, but...see, she's my sister, and I can't just let this..."

"Oh," Olivia said, realizing. "You're Hannah's sister?"

The redhead nodded. "Jillian," she said, pulling awkwardly at her sleeves. "Look, I know that he's your son, and you believe him, and you trust him...but I'm warning you..."

"Wh-whoa." Olivia stammered. "Son? You mean Dickie?" she asked.

Jillian nodded again. "I don't have a lot of time, I was supposed to be home from school an hour ago, but I have to warn you..." she swallowed. "My parents are gonna sue. Hard. Like, take everything you've got kind of sue."

"On what grounds?" Olivia asked, stunned. "And how did you even know Dickie was...I mean, he's not my..."

"He's very proud of his parents," Jillian interrupted. "He talks about you and Detective Stabler all the time. So I knew where you worked. But, please, just..." she blinked and brought her green eyes up to meet Olivia's worried gaze. "My sister is five months pregnant."

"I know that," Olivia said. "We went to the doctor with her and Dickie, so I..."

"She turned seventeen two months ago," Jillian broke in again. "Dickie's eighteenth birthday was in September, right? Almost three months..."

"Oh, my God," Olivia gasped, realizing. "Your parents are trying to..."

"Yeah," Jillian said, nodding frantically. "That's why I'm here. I brought you this. Hannah knows I have it, and she knows what I'm doing with it. It's just in case." She handed Olivia a blue notebook, covered with stickers. "It's her journal. She wrote about...everything." The girl squinted. "My parents are really stupid, though. New York State law defines statutory rape as anyone eighteen or older engaging in sexual intercourse with someone under fifteen. Hannah was way older than that. They don't have a case, right?"

Olivia tilted her head. "How did you know that?"

"I spent the last year listening to your son brag about how amazing his parents were, how many people they help, how many lives they save," Jillian said. "I did a lot of reading, studying, I guess. I wanna be a lawyer, and I wanna work with this unit." She smiled at Olivia, then. "Besides the journal, you can use the fact that Dickie was less than four years older than the victim at the time of the act. It's an affirmative defense."

Olivia chuckled, putting the journal down on the table. She opened it, ripped a bit of paper off the last page, and clicked the pen in her hand. She jotted something down and handed it to Jillian. "This is my friend Alex's office number, and yes, she's a lawyer. Call her," she said. "Tell her I gave you the number. They're gonna be looking for interns in the fall."

"Wow, thanks," Jillian said with a grin.

"No, honey," Olivia said, her hand falling onto Jillian's shoulder again. "Thank you. You really didn't have to come down here to warn me about this."

Jillian stopped smiling. "My sister is in love with your son," she said. "I didn't do this for you. I did it for her, and my nephew. They both need Dickie."

"They do," Olivia agreed with a warm smile.

"Congratulations, by the way. Dickie told us that you're gonna have a baby, too," Jillian said as she stood. "Didn't make my folks think any less about suing, though." She shrugged. "You'll have the suit dropped by morning, though, right?"

Olivia nodded, then watched as the girl, who reminded her of herself for far too many reasons, walked out of the room. She licked her lips and sighed, then headed into her office to make phone calls and do what she really dreaded doing. Tell Elliot.

* * *

><p>Elliot heard the door behind him open, but seeing as he was in the bathroom, he thought it was Fin or Ken. "Hell," he mumbled, splashing cold water on his face. "This has been the day from hell."<p>

Footsteps moved toward him, and as he blindly grabbed paper towels from the dispenser, a voice spoke. "Wasn't that bad." A hand touched his shoulder and squeezed. "Could have been a lot worse."

He shot his head up after he dried it off and spun around fast. "What are you doing in here?"

Olivia chuckled and moved closer. "Public bathroom," she mused.

"Yeah, the men's bathroom," he laughed. "Not that I'm not happy to see you. Trust me, I am very happy to see you."

"I see that," she said, biting her lip, one hand skimming down his thigh and cupping his erection through his pants. "Feel it, too."

His eyes flickered shut, and he moaned. "Hormones," he mumbled.

"No," she whispered, placing a soft kiss to his lips. "Just realized something today," she said, trailing her mouth lightly along his jaw line. It made him gulp, and she smirked.

"What's that?" he asked, his voice barely audible. His hands, despite his best efforts to keep them off of her, ran up her hips and looped around her waist. She was still stroking him through the fabric of his slacks, and he unconsciously bucked into her hand.

She dropped her forehead to his and gave his stiffness a squeeze. "How lucky I am," she said. "How happy I am. How this all happened. Sudden, wrong, confusing, but look where we are."

"In the bathroom," he joked, nuzzling her and dropping a kiss to her lips.

She smiled, kissed him again, and said, "I meant...together, having a baby...this all could have ended the day it began if you would have just turned around and walked out of my apartment that night." She kissed his neck. "You didn't, though. You stayed, you took what you wanted without even asking, because you knew. You knew I wanted you more than I could have ever possibly..."

Hi lips covered hers, silencing her. One hand moved from her waist to cover her hand, keeping it firmly pressed against his girth. He rocked his hips into her, moaning, as he kissed her. "More," he muttered against her lips. "Now," he demanded, panting as he broke their kiss.

She pulled away from him, then, a wicked gleam in her eyes. "Right now?" she teased, pulling her hand out from under his. "Right here?"

He took a step toward her and grabbed her by the arms. "Right here," he spat. "Right now." He crashed his lips into hers as he pressed her against the wall. "You drive me crazy, you know that?"

She laughed as she nodded, her fingers dancing in his hair. "I know," she said. And just as his hand worked its way under her shirt, the door flew open and Fin walked in, unaware of them against the wall behind him. He made his way to a urinal. "Stabler, man," he said, oblivious to Olivia's presence, "What the hell have you been doin' in here? Twenty minutes? Damn, man!"

Elliot chuckled and silently kissed Olivia, sighing as she crept out of the bathroom. "Thinking," he said, folding his arms.

"Bout what?" Fin asked, finishing up.

"Everything," he said, honestly. "Things are...different now. This job is different, my life is different, my kids are different." He bit his lip. "I'm gonna be grandfather in four months, have a baby of my own in seven, my wife got a judge to throw out a..."

"Wife?" Fin asked, raising an eyebrow.

Elliot balked, his mouth opened and closed. "I...well...yeah, I mean...we...she's my..." he coughed and shook his head. "We have a dead superstar to deal with and an ex-con to interrogate."

Fin scoffed as he watched Elliot leave. Then he grinned. "Son of a bitch," he chuckled. Sometimes, Elliot Stabler really put his foot in his mouth.

**A/N: Wife? What happens when Dickie finds out Olivia talked to Hannah's parents? And is the child his? Last chapter? Maybe.**


	29. Resolution

**A/N: _Resolution_**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

Olivia sighed as she packed the last photo frame from Elliot's desk into the box in her hands. She looked around the room, half the unit busy with work and the other half shaking Elliot's hand, saying goodbye to him. She almost cried.

Her eyes met Elliot's, then, and she gave him a soft smile. She moved slowly toward him, and she dropped the box into his hands. "Well," she sighed, "I think you need to go, now."

He chuckled at her, kissed her softly, and winked at her. "I will be right downstairs," he said to her. "We knew this was..."

"Yeah," she nodded, finding it hard to breathe. "Still, nothing could have made me ready for it."

"I'll be up here to pick you up at ten," he told her with another kiss.

She watched him grab look around sadly, then moved in for one last kiss, and tried to hold in the tears as he walked away from her, out of the squad room, the people around her now clapping for him.

Fin, with folded arms, shook his head. "This ain't right," he griped. "You were both doin' your jobs, man. I think Eckerson just..."

"This wasn't just Andy's decision," Olivia interrupted. "He gave us an ultimatum, yeah, but..." she stopped. "Homicide offered him more money, better hours, and he can work solo. With this baby and...the rest of the kids...we need the money. Besides," she said, turning to him, "He's always wanted someone to call him 'Captain."

Munch took off his glasses and wiped his eyes. "He didn't have to force Elliot out, though. Just because you two signed a piece of paper..."

"We got married," Olivia corrected. "Andy was pulling strings for us, temporarily. We knew that once the deed was done, one of us would have to leave. It's better this way, trust me. Neither one of us has to deal with a partner we can't stand..." She turned around. "No offense, Ken."

"None taken," Briscoe said with a roll of his eyes.

Olivia laughed. "And we have the same hours now, I don't have to stay here alone to file reports, I know he's right downstairs doing the same thing."

Fin sighed again, then sat at his desk. "Makes sense," he mumbled.

"Hey, Cap," Ken Briscoe said, his eyes trained on the door. "Isn't that your stepson?"

Olivia turned fast, her eyes widening. "Dickie!" she called, walking toward him. "Honey, what happened?"

"Nothing happened," Dickie said, pale and slightly shaky. "Is Dad..."

"Downstairs," she interrupted. "Setting up his new office. What's wrong? Everything okay at your mom's?"

"Fine," Dickie spat. "You...you talked to th-them," he stuttered. "You talked to Hannah's parents?"

Olivia bit her lip, put her hand on Dickie's shoulders, and led him toward an interrogation room. "Sit," she said.

Dickie sat down, and much like his father would do, he rubbed his right hand over his face. "Why?"

"You know what they were trying to..." Olivia was interrupted.

"I know," he said, "But you could have told me. You could have...I'm gonna be a father, I was supposed to be the one that stood up to them. How can I be a parent, and at the same time have my own parents fighting my battles for me?"

Olivia felt a surge of pride in the young man before her. "Honey," she said to him, "You are going to be father, but you're still a teenager. You're still young enough to need us to step in, especially since they were trying to find a way to..."

"Thank you," he breathed, interrupting. "I mean it, thanks. I was terrified. But next time, just tell me you're jumping into things, okay? I need to grow up pretty damned fast, here, and as much as I might wanna cry for my mommy and daddy to make this all go away, I..."

Olivia laid her hand over his, silencing him. "I know, sweetie."

"It's mine," he whispered, turning his palm up to grip Olivia's fingers. "The baby is...really mine. What...what does it say about me, that I'm relieved it is?"

"It says," Olivia said with a tiny smile, "That you're in love with her, and you couldn't stand the thought of the baby being someone else's because it would mean that..."

"I know what it would mean," Dickie said, nodding once. "But I think I...somewhere deep down...wanted this baby. I want to be to him...or her...what Dad is to me. A friend, a protector, a...a hero."

They both heard a soft gasp and their heads turned.

"Dad?" Dickie spat.

Elliot walked toward his son, hugged him tightly, and said, "I didn't mean to...I forgot to tell Liv something so I..." he pulled away and looked at the young man. "Really?"

Dickie shrugged, embarrassed now. "You had your moments, trust me. There were times when I hated you, times I wished you just leave me alone, but...Dad, you've been...incredible. I know you had it rough, I know you and Grandpa didn't get along and you took a lot of heat, but you raised me right. You're...whether you believe me or not, you're my best friend, and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like that wasn't true."

Elliot couldn't stop the tears, and he hugged his son again.

Olivia wiped away the small tears that had fallen out of her own eyes, and she silently left the two men, Dickie was a man now, to themselves. As she walked through the bullpen, toward her office, she ran a hand over her young bump and closed her eyes. "That's love," she whispered, knowing the pain of never really having a bond with her mother, never knowing her father. "I promise," she said to her child, "I will always be there for you."

Munch eyed her suspiciously as she walked into her office, and he looked toward Elliot's empty desk. "Everything's changing again," he mumbled. "I was just getting used to things the way they were."

Fin chuckled. "Everything changes, man," he said. "But they're happy. It ain't like we're never gonna see Stabler again."

Munch shrugged. "I'm gonna miss..."

"The way he always got us tied up with IAB? The way he spends more time starin' at Liv than doin' his job?" Fin finished for him. "The way he would yell and hit first, ask questions later?"

"Yeah," Munch said with a smile. "You don't know how much you really care about things like that until they're gone."

Fin scoffed as Munch went back to work, and he turned his head toward the interrogation room. Yeah, he thought, things have changed. But only for the better.

* * *

><p>"How was your first day down in Homicide, Captain Stabler?" Olivia said, smiling, her head nestled on Elliot's shoulder.<p>

He hummed and turned his body a bit. "Interesting," he told her. "How was your day, Captain...Stabler?"

She laughed. "It's still Benson at work, El. For now anyway," she sighed. "It was hard without you. I'm not gonna lie and say it wasn't. I hated every minute of it without you there."

He looked into her eyes and ran his palms over her belly. "We have this, though. We have a life now, a real one. Our time together doesn't end at ten anymore, and we aren't the ones who have to get out of bed at three in the morning, honey." He kissed her forehead. "I'm happier this way, with you."

She closed her eyes and smiled, her body pressing further into his. She moaned, feeling his fingers slipping lower from her bump to her thighs, swooping up between her legs.

"I really did miss you today," he whispered, two of his fingers working over her flesh, teasing her. "How Eckerson even found out we...I thought Judge Carter wasn't gonna tell..."

"El," she moaned again, her head dropping against his, her hips bucking into his hand, "Please."

He smirked, kissed her nose, and swiped his thumb over her clit slowly as he pushed the two teasing digits into her. He twisted and pulled them out, before pushing in and twisting again. He laughed to himself when Olivia moved up, opening her legs a bit wider, twisting herself on top of him a bit more.

She dug her fingers into his shoulders, moaned his name softly, and her hips began moving on their own.

"Not yet," he whispered, shaking his head, slowing his hand. "Not yet, baby." He pulled his fingers away from her wet heat, bringing them up to her lips. He swiped them over her pout, watching her eyes blink and widen, and he kissed her with fervor, tasting her with every moment.

She returned his eager kisses, her fingers working to free him from his sweatpants, her whole body throbbing for him. "El," she breathed against his lips, "Baby, don't move."

He chuckled, raised and eyebrow as he pulled back from her, and he stilled. He waited. "What are you gonna do, Captain?"

She grinned, pulling the grey cotton down, slipping over his body with them. She tossed them over her head, hearing the plop as they hit the floor, and she narrowed her eyes. She gave him a look that was a blend of love, lust, and playfulness, and she took hold of his rigidness.

"What are you...oh, oh, fuck yeah," he spat out, his eyes fluttering shut as he watched and felt her engulf him. Her mouth was so hot, moist. Her tongue worked him to a frenzy fast, his hips began to buck gently into her mouth. "God damn, Liv," he grumbled. He moved his hands, caressing her cheeks for a moment before fisting both of them into her hair. "Fuck," he seethed, pulling lightly.

She bobbed up and down on him, taking him in as much as she could, then pulling away almost completely. She sucked lightly on the head, then flicked her tongue over the tip quickly, and she grinned when it reduced him to a whining, begging, child.

He opened his eyes and looked into hers, then used his grip on her head to tug her up his body. He slammed his mouth into hers, kissing her madly, as his fingers untangled from her locks and smoothed down to her thighs. He nudged them apart, moving her around his waist, and he grabbed himself in one hand and her left hip in the other. He stroked twice then nudged at her entrance, taking a sharp breath.

She moaned his name loudly, into his mouth, when she felt him thrust into her. It took a moment for shock to subside, but she quickly found a rhythm that matched his, and the frantic bodies relaxed. Now it was slow, powerful, deep, and quiet. No words, just moans and grunts, appreciative murmurs, sighs, and the mumbling of names.

He looked up at her, the look on her face was a drug to him, and he drank her in completely as they moved together. "You," he whispered.

"Me," she nodded, rolling her hips into his and moaning softly.

"My wife," he said, craning his neck to kiss her.

She tensed as the word left his mouth, her whole body tightened, she heard him grunting and felt him moving into her with more force, trying to work through the vice she had become. "Yeah," she whispered.

He knew how close she was, how close he was because of her, and he worked his right hand between their bodies to flick at her clit as he drove into her deeper. It was her undoing, and he felt her clench hard. He watched her head fall back, her body angle backward with the arch of her spine. He felt her hands dig into his chest and rake down, leaving red streaks in their wake, but he was concentrating on her face.

She moaned his name again, then lifted her head and dropped it forward to look at him, and as soon as her eyes met his, he let go.

His eyes shut tight, his body wracked against hers, still thrusting powerfully into her as he shot off. His left hand was caressing and stoking every bit of her he could reach and his right thumb still playing at her nub, still making her whine and keen on top of him.

They slowed, they stilled, they held onto each other and stared into one another's eyes as they took hard, shallow breaths.

Olivia was the first to laugh, her head dropping to his.

He chuckled, then, too, kissing her, wrapping her arms around her. He had finally gotten her right where he wanted her, after years of hoping and praying, and fantasizing. He twitched inside of her at the thought, a groan escaping him, and he kissed her again. "I love you."

"I love you more," she told him, smiling.

He shook his head. "No way." He held her close to him, kissed her forehead, and waited until he felt the pounding in her chest subside, the thud of her heart matching his.

She turned her head, kissing him again. "If it's a boy," she said, "I wanna name him James."

"And if it's a girl?" he questioned, kissing the end of her nose.

She shrugged. "It took me three weeks to land on James," she admitted.

He laughed and planted small, light, pecks over her lips and cheeks. "We have plenty of time," he said.

She opened her mouth to say something to him, but a crash from above them cut her off. "What the hell was that?"

Elliot eased her off of him, got out of the bed, and looked around for his discarded sweatpants. "Stay here," he said to her, pulling the cotton pants back on. He grabbed his gun off of the nightstand, kissed her, and left the room.

Olivia bit her lip, knowing the kids were with Kathy, wondering who the hell had gotten into the house.

**A/N: How did Andy find out they were married? Who's in the house? And another complication...**


	30. Confrontation

**A/N: _Confrontation_**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

"Hannah?" Elliot snapped, staring into Dickie's open bedroom door and dropping his gun. "What are you..."

"I'm sorry!" she blurted. "I'll get you a new one, I just...I knocked into the dresser and it fell. I'm...I'm not used to being this...big."

Elliot shook his head. "Forget about the lamp, honey. I meant, what are you doing here? You should be with Dickie at..."

"His mother hates me," she interrupted. "Dickie gave me his key, and I came back here. I couldn't stay with her for another second, Mister Stabler! She kept giving me these horrifying looks and calling me..."

Elliot held up a hand. "I can guess," he said, not needed the girl to repeat anything. "How long have you been here?" Then his eyes widened. "Did you hear any..."

"I got back at around nine," she shrugged. "I watched a movie, and then a few episodes of 'Teen Mom' which made me freak out. I got up to go the bathroom, that's when I hit Dickie's dresser. I didn't hear anything, why?"

He shrugged. "No reason," he said, hiding his relief. "You can stay, you know that, Liv and I just...would have liked to know that someone was here."

"Sorry," the girl said, her eyes upturned. "Oh, um, can you tell her that I borrowed her book?" She pointed to a worn copy of _What__to__Expect__When__You're__Expecting,_held open by Dickie's pillow.

Elliot nodded, smiling. "She's got it memorized anyway," he joked. "If you need anything, just yell or come knock on our door. Knock. Remember to knock."

"Knock," she repeated, smirking. "Got it." She waved as Elliot left, then her smile faded. She rubbed her bump and walked back to Dickie's bed, forgetting the need to use the bathroom. She picked up the book that was terrifying her with every page, and sighed, regretting the choice she had made.

"Well?" Olivia questioned, sitting up, the sheet pulled up around her body.

Elliot turned the lock in the doorknob and shoved off his sweatpants, then settled himself back in bed. "Hannah's here," he said with a harsh sigh.

She furrowed her brow. "Because..."

"Because her boyfriend's mother made her feel unwelcome, and rather than spend two weeks being looked at like the mortal sinner Kathy thinks she is, she came here where it's safe."

"I think Kathy...I just think she can't stand watching it all happen again," she said. "She looks at Hannah and she sees herself. It scares her, and it brings back all of that pain and anxiety."

He looked at her funny. "So, what, I look at Dickie and see James Dean? Liv, I see more of myself in that kid than..."

"I'm not saying you don't, baby," she soothed, running a hand over his chest to calm him. "You learned from the experience and are using it to support your son. Kathy is just pissed off that she couldn't stop her child from making the same mistake she did, and instead of trying to help them, she's trying to fix it."

"It's a baby," he whispered, his eyes tearing up. He wrapped both of his hands around the roundness of Olivia's stomach. "How can you think this needs to be fixed? How can anyone...I know there are reasons, but if it's a little life, made from love, then..." he cleared his throat. "It's not a problem, or a mistake, it's just a complication."

She kissed his forehead. "That's how your son feels," she told him. "That's how you know you did a damn good job with him, and why I am not afraid to have this baby. Despite everything I lived through, the shit examples of parenting I got from Mommy Dearest, I know that we are gonna raise one hell of a child together."

He nuzzled her nose, kissed her lips, and said, "You bet your ass we are." He placed a soft peck on her forehead, then worked both of them down to the mattress and under the covers. "Night, baby," he whispered. "I love you. Both of you."

She mumbled a response, but was halfway to sleep as the barely audible words left her mouth.

* * *

><p>"Shouldn't you be doing some kind of work, or something?" Olivia asked, her eyes twinkling as she smiled at the man on his knees in front of her.<p>

Elliot, his nose rubbing against her swelling belly, simply laughed. "I am working," he said. "I'm working very hard at making sure this kid knows I'm Daddy."

She laughed and ran her hands through his hair, and then she sighed, watching as he kissed her bump. "She knows," she whispered. "She knows you're her daddy."

"How do you know it's a girl?" he asked, not moving his face from it's spot, pressed against her navel.

"Maternal instinct," she quipped, smirking. "Seriously, El, as touching as this is, it's late. Finish what you have to do and..."

"I've been done for the last twenty minutes," he interrupted, holding her even closer.

She raised an eyebrow as he lifted his gaze to meet her eyes. She tilted her head when he smiled at her. "What?"

He rose to his feet, kissed her softly, and said, "Can't blame me for being overwhelmed by my beautiful, pregnant wife, can you?"

She kissed him, stifling her laughter, and pushed him toward his office door. "I've only been your wife for four days," she reminded him.

"Oh, honey," he said with narrow eyes, "We've been married for years." He took her hand and walked out of his office, into the squad room of the homicide division.

"Hey, there," Detective Ed Green said, getting out of his seat. "I didn't get to congratulate the newlyweds!" He narrowed his eyes as he gave Olivia a gentle hug. "No one did, since ya'll didn't have a wedding."

Olivia chuckled a bit. "We didn't really see the point. He's already had a big wedding, I've never really wanted one. We'll have a reception when things settle down, but..."

"I ain't mad," Green laughed. "Just woulda liked to have seen you two jump the broom, ya know? We all knew it was gonna happen."

Elliot pursed his lips. "Don't make me send you back to the Two-Seven, pal," he teased, slapping his friend in the arm. "Apparently," he said, turning to Olivia, "They were betting on us there, too."

Green snorted. "The only group in the city who wasn't in on the pool was One PP, they thought it was unethical, but they hate all of us who won something off the two of you."

Olivia pressed her lips together to stop laughing, and she tilted her head. "Lemme guess," she began, "You all have a baby pool going now?"

"I got fifty bucks on May Fifteenth, and a hundred bucks on boy," Green said proudly.

Elliot patted his shoulder. "You're already losing one of those bets, my friend." He looked at Olivia, then brought his hand to her bulge. "We know she's a lot further along than we thought, so we're looking at March."

Ed snapped his fingers. "Darn," he said sarcastically. "Good thing I had two hundred on March."

"Goodnight," Elliot said, rolling his eyes as he guided Olivia out of the doors. "He's got graveyard tonight," he whispered to her. "I told him not to bother me unless it was urgent, and to make Eckerson his first call."

"Evil," she hissed at him.

He wagged his eyebrows as he punched the call button for the elevator. "You always did have a thing for bad boys, baby."

"Just the ones I know I can tame," she sad, nipping at his bottom lip. "Once in a while, at least." She kissed her way to his ear, sucked on his lobe, and whispered, "I'm not your boss anymore. We're gonna have to fight for control, now."

He growled as the doors opened, and just as he was about to shove her up against the elevator wall, he focused on the man already inside the elevator. "Hi," he said, breathless, tugging his jacket down.

"Captain Stabler," the man said, smiling. "And...Captain Stabler. Or is it still Benson?"

"Don," Olivia choked, still finding it hard to look him in the eyes. "How did you know?"

Cragen folded his arms. "Something that big, between the two of you, and you don't think Carter would call me?" He raised one eyebrow, then, and said, "Who do you think told Andy?"

Elliot's brows shot up and his jaw tightened. "You did...why? You hate us that much now? After everything else..."

"I did it so you could have this," Cragen spat. "A normal life, normal hours. Well, more normal than what they were. No more midnight runs, no more answering to IAB, no more fighting your battles. You're the top of the food chain, both of you. No one can mess with you now, and you're still partners, right?"

Olivia sent a sideways glance toward Elliot, then moved her stare back to Cragen. "You came down here for..."

"I wanted to see you," he shrugged. "You weren't in your office, then Fin told me you were probably in Elliot's so...I'm lucky I caught you in the elevator."

"Yeah," Elliot huffed, annoyed. "Lucky. Why did you want to see her?"

Cragen smiled. "The two of you...got married, you're having a baby, and because of my demons, I'm missing all of it. I wanted to congratulate you, and...I wanted to give you this." He held out his hand.

"Your...your badge?" Olivia said, confused, taking the gold shield from him.

Elliot cleared his throat. "Wow, that's...that's..."

"What?" Olivia interrupted him, turning her head.

"Baby, my father gave me his badge at my Corps graduation," he said, nodding once. "It's the only time he was ever really proud of me, and it means...it's kind of like...honey, what Cragen's saying here is..."

"I think of you like a daughter," Cragen spoke, saving Elliot from babbling. "I know I've ruined the relationship we had, I know I hurt the both of you, a lot. I've disappointed you in so many ways, and I can't take it back, but I wanna fix it. I wasn't there to see you marry him, but...if you'll let me...I wanna be there for you when you bring his child into this world, because it's the closest thing I'll ever have to a grandchild."

Olivia didn't know she was crying until she felt Elliot wipe away her tears. She opened her mouth, but the elevator dinged, the doors opened, and she shook her head as she ran off the lift, out of the building.

Elliot sighed. "I'll talk to her," he said. "She needs time. We...we both do."

Cragen nodded and watched Elliot run after Olivia, then he took a slow step out of the elevator. He expected it, but it didn't make it hurt any less. He rubbed his eyes as he walked out, and he stopped himself from waving as the black SUV drove off. He knew it very well could have been his last moment with Olivia and Elliot.

**A/N: Two Stabler men deal with fatherhood, next.**


	31. Satisfaction

**A/N: _Satisfaction_**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

"Shut up, Liv," Elliot spat, rolling his eyes. He jammed the leg of a crib into the hole in the bottom, then squinted. He looked at his son, ripped the leg out of his hands and thrust his own back at Dickie. "Just…shut up."

"I didn't say anything," Olivia returned, smirking. She had one hand on her round belly and the other on her lower back, rubbing.

Elliot looked at her narrowly. "You're thinking very loudly," he quipped.

Hannah chuckled, her hands on her own baby-bump. "How can you hear her think?"

"Trust me," Elliot sighed, looking down at the pieces of wood on the carpet in front of him. "I do." He scratched his head and looked at his son again. "Do you have the round thing that's supposed to go in the thing over here?"

"Uh…this?" Dickie held up an arched piece of cherry wood.

Elliot took it out of his hand, then tried like hell to get it into the notch in the bit in front of him. He furrowed his brow, picked up a hammer, and started banging. "Damn it to fucking hell…"

"Hey! Language! Children!" Olivia yelled sharply, waddling toward him and pulling the hammer out of his grip. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Now?" he grunted. "I'm kind of…"

"Yeah, now," she interrupted, tossing the hammer onto the rocking chair to her left and huffing out of the room.

Elliot ran a hand down his face and cleared his throat. "Great," he mumbled, rising to his feet and following after his wife. He caught a glimpse of her as she walked into their bedroom and he made it in behind her and closed the door. "What?" he bit.

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?" she barked in a harsh whisper. "I know putting that thing together is frustrating you, and I know you're upset that you've got your son right beside you doing the same thing, but you need to calm the hell down."

His scrunched up brow relaxed as he stepped closer to her. "I know," he breathed. "I know, I'm just…"

Her lips crashed into his, the force knocking him back into the foot of the bed. He had just enough time to grab her before he fell back onto the mattress pulling her on top of him. "Liv, what…" and he was cut off by another powerful kiss.

"Shut up, El," she hissed against his lips. Her fingers twisted the button on his paint-spattered jeans. She nipped at his lips as she slid the zipper down.

He lifted his hips, taking her for a bit of a ride, and moaned when she grabbed the denim and pulled it down around his hips. He went weak when he felt her hand snake up his thigh and he gasped into her partly-opened mouth when she wrapped her fingers around his hardness.

"You gonna calm down?" she asked in the low, gravelly voice she usually used in interrogations.

He smirked and shook his head as he snapped at her bottom lip, catching it between his teeth.

She pulled her head back. "Hey," she scolded, stroking faster, gripping him harder. "Behave."

"Oh, fuck," he growled, his head dropping backward. His hands slipped from around her waist and fell limply to his sides. "Oh, God, Liv." He saw stars behind his closed eyelids, the touch of her hand, the speed and power of her work, it all made him surrender to her completely. He had no choice.

She leaned over him, her hand still moving over his length, gripping and tugging. She dragged her teeth over the throbbing vein in his neck. An evil grin spread across her face and she bit.

"Mother of…" the harsh grunt that left his mouth in place of a word was accompanied by a thrust of his hips. His right hand flew to the back of her neck, and though part of him wanted to push her off, he held her down, a much stronger part of him winning out. "God damn," he sputtered.

She laughed, sucking on his pulse, her free hand lifted the hem of his shirt as she kissed her way down his chest. When she met the exposed flesh of his stomach, she moaned. She ran her tongue along the ridges between his thick, hard muscles, and she took pride in the way she made them twitch.

He couldn't help himself, he thrust into her hand rhythmically as he tugged at her elastic-waist jeans. "Shit, baby," he whined, finding her fighting him on it. "I need…Jesus Christ…Liv, baby, come on."

She brought her head up to meet his eyes, the look on her face scared him. "What?" she whispered, tilting her head. She slowed her stroking, but gripped him just a bit tighter. "What do you want?"

He rolled his eyes, scraped his teeth over his bottom lip, and gave her a frustrated groan. "God damn," he spat, "You! I want you!"

Her eyes lit up and she let him pull down the soft denim pants, she rose up on her knees for him. "You want me?" she breathed.

He leaned up to her and attached his mouth to her neck, skimming his hands up her shirt. "Fuck, yeah," he huffed into her ear.

She gave him a hard shove, forcing him back to the mattress, and her busy hand slipped away from his throbbing length.

He bit his lip as he looked up at her, watching her move over him. His hands ran up and down her thighs as she straddled him, then two fingers made the journey higher toward her panties. He peeled the cotton away from her hot flesh and dragged one finger along her slick slit. "You want me, too, don't you?"

She had her lips pressed together tightly as she nodded down at him and swatted his hand away. She took his shaft in her hand again, swiped her thumb over his tip and earned a low moan from him, and then adjusted her body over him. "How much do you want me?"

He gripped her hips, moved his hips, and pushed into her slowly. "You feel that?" he breathed. "More than that. Liv, it's so much more than physical…" He shut up when she rocked her body over his, taking him into her completely, and he gasped when he watched her head fall backward.

"Oh, God," she whimpered. She brought her head back up and looked down at him, she grabbed both of his hands and slid them up her body further, under her flowy top, flattening his palms over her breasts.

He was speechless, but not surprised, and fingered her nipples through the thin material of her bra. He looked into her eyes as he tweaked and twisted, and he saw the emotions swimming in them. He saw them darken, he saw them narrow, and he stilled beneath her and let her have what she wanted. Control.

She kept her focus on his face, the pleasure and love seeping out of every feature spurred her, and she moved on him faster. She pressed her lips together again, and lifted herself off him almost completely before slamming back down on him. Her hands splayed over his chest, her nails clawed at the cotton of his tee shirt to rake down his body.

He grunted, he moaned, and he whispered, "There's not a minute that goes by that I don't want you." He slid one hand away from her nipple and trailed it up to her neck. He pulled her down to him and began thrusting up hard, kissing her madly. "And there never will be," he promised.

She pressed her forehead into his and moved harder over him, then she bit his lip, pulling it backward then sucking on it. She let it drop, kissed him again, and whispered, "Damn right." She took both of his hands in hers, twisted their fingers, and brought his hands up over his head.

"Honey," he breathed, not struggling against her at all. He looked up at her as she flattened down on him.

She kissed him as she kept up her frantic, hard, pace, bringing them closer and closer to the edge with every moment, hoping she was enough. Hoping he would never want anyone other than her. Hoping history wouldn't repeat itself where he was concerned. Hoping she would be able to stop doubting and start living the way she wanted, with him and their child.

* * *

><p>After they had finished, calmed down, and returned to the nursery, they found both cribs assembled and pushed against the wall. Olivia moved toward the darker one, the one reserved for her child, and ran a hand over the smooth side.<p>

"You okay?" Elliot asked, stepping closer to her.

She smiled, but her eyes were wet with tears. "I'm okay," she breathed.

"Don't lie to me," he said, resting his hand over hers on the crib. "I hate when you do that. What's wrong?"

She sniffled as she shrugged. "I'm happy," she said. Then she took a breath. "And terrified."

He kissed her forehead and nodded. "I'm scared, too," he confessed. "But not about this, not about our baby." He turned his head toward the other crib in the room. "That over there, that's what scares the shit out of me."

She nodded. "Me, too," she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder.

He ran a hand through her hair and kissed the end of her nose. "Please, don't cry," he whispered. "We had a pretty great day, and I hate to see you like this when I can't fix it."

"There's nothing to fix," she chuckled, wiping her eyes. She brushed her thumb over his knuckles, and she took a short breath when she ran the pad of her finger over his gold band. "I'm emotional and hormonal and thinking about things I shouldn't…like everything that could go wrong, the worst possible…"

"Cut that out," he snapped with a grin. "Nothing is gonna go wrong, baby. And whatever you're thinking about…look at me," he said, his voice lower. Once she met his eyes, he continued, "Look at me and tell me you honestly believe any of it."

She kissed him. Shaking her head, she leaned against him and looked back at the crib. "No," she said softly. "I just…this is really happening and it's perfect. You know me, El, I'm always just waiting for the shit to hit the fan, and I can't convince myself that this time it's not going to."

He laughed and kissed her again. "Even if it does, you know I'm gonna be covered in shit with you, right? Nothing you, or anyone else, could ever say or do is gonna change that."

She smiled at him, kissed him again, and felt him sway her back and forth gently. She let out a soft laugh and held him tighter.

"Guys!" Dickie yelled, running into the room. "Um…we have a…there's a thing...a problem.."

Both Olivia and Elliot turned with wide eyes as they broke their soft embrace. "What? What happened?" Elliot asked, clutching Olivia's hand.

Dickie swallowed, his pale and shaking body almost giving out in the doorway. "I think…Hannah's having the baby."

**A/N: Say wha? Poor little Stabler is gonna know what it's like to be his father. **


	32. Propulsion

**A/N: _Propulsion_**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters : Dick Wolf. This story: TStabler**

Olivia rolled her eyes as Elliot pushed her down onto the cool, metal table. "I'm fine!" she affirmed, then looked at the doctor to her left. "Would you please tell him I'm fine?"

Elliot sighed and scratched at the beginnings of stubble on his face. "We've got one baby on the way too damn early, I don't need..." He paused, shaking his head, and kissed her softly. "I just need to know, okay?"

Sighing, she leaned back on the examining table and relents. "Okay," she said.

Elliot eyed the doctor, biting his lip, and watched him turn on the sonogram machine. He started to shake as he lifted Olivia's shirt up over her bump. "Breathe," he said.

"You saying that to me, or yourself?" she jested, taking his hand in hers. "Relax, El," she soothed.

The doctor hid a smile, and he squirted blue gel onto Olivia's rounded belly. He maneuvered the scope around a bit, finding what he was searching for on the monitor at his side. "Well, there you have it, folks. A perfectly healthy little girl. A very active one at that."

"You're telling me?" Olivia moaned with a grin. "I'm gonna be a soccer mom, I can promise you that. This girl has some legs on her."

Elliot chuckled. "Like her mommy," he said, squeezing her hand. He turned toward the doctor and sighed again. "So everything's good?"

The man in the white coat nodded. "No sign of distress, and you haven't felt any pain or discomfort have you?" He looked at Olivia.

"Not at all," she said with a sniffle. She wiped her eyes, which were still focused on the black and white blob on the screen. "She's beautiful."

Elliot sniffled himself and kissed her forehead. "Of course she is, she's ours."

She smiled at him, then she laughed. "Well, we can't name her James, now, can we?" She flicked the hair out of her eyes and said, "I was so sure it was a boy."

The doctor smiled at them and handed Olivia a towel. "It's a good thing you still have three months to pick out a name, then. I'm sure it will be beautiful." He turns off the machine, oblivious to the disappointment in their faces at the loss of the image.

Elliot helped Olivia wipe the gel off of her stomach, then lifted her off of the table gently. "Thanks, Doc, really," he said, shaking the man's hand. Then he turned back to Olivia. He saw the look on her face and he rolled his eyes. "Yes, we can go back out to the waiting room now. Sorry, I panicked."

She gave him a small smile. "With everything going on, I was kind of worried about...our daughter, too," she admitted. "But...you knew that, didn't you?"

He kissed her, a flat smirk pressed against her lips. "Maybe," he laughed, and he led her out to the group of worried people, waiting anxiously for news about Hannah and the baby.

* * *

><p>"What time is it?" Kathleen asked, yawning.<p>

Maureen grumbled as she tried to find a comfortable position in the stiff chair. "Somewhere between too damn late and too fucking early."

"Hey!" Elliot spat. "Watch the language!"

"I'm an adult, Dad," she moaned back to him, her eyes closed and her head buried in the back of the seat. "Deal with it."

Lizzie looked at her older sister. "Man, you are grouchy when you're tired."

Maureen limply lifted an arm and pointed to the air between Olivia and Elliot. "I get it from them," she garbled.

"How could you have possibly gotten anything from Liv?" Kathleen asked, rubbing her eyes.

"The same way I got the chickenpox from Mike Stanfield in the second grade," Maureen answered, half asleep.

Lizzie took a moment. "When did you make out with Liv?"

Maureen shot up in her seat fast, a disgusted look on her face. "Oh, my God," she spat, throwing her jacket at her sister. "I meant that it was contagious! Grow up!"

"Sorry," Lizzie offered with a scoff, "Forgive me for trying to lighten the mood, okay? None of us know what's going on in there, they've been in there for hours, and no matter how much Dad flashes his badge..."

"Dad?" Dickie interrupted, coming out into the room.

Elliot was on his feet in a snap, and he jetted to his son. There was a moment of silence as they stood in front of the large wooden doors leading to the delivery room. He ran his eyes over the blue scrubs, and he tried not to cry. "How ya holdin' up, kid?"

"Hannah's out like a light," Dickie said with a sniffle. He nodded once and swallowed hard. "The baby...he's in the NICU. He's in this...plastic...cage." He took a breath and held in the urge to scream, then looked into his father's eyes. "We, uh, we named him...Elliot. Elliot Scott Stabler."

"Oh, buddy," Elliot breathed, his heart melting. "You named him..."

"After you," Dickie finished. "Yeah." He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Hannah and I wanted him to have a good, strong name, and you're...you're the strongest man I know. He needs...he needs your strength, Dad, because God knows he didn't get any from me." Tears rolled down his cheeks, but he wiped them away fast.

Elliot gripped both of his son's shoulders "Is he...is he okay? Have they told you...anything?"

Dickie shook his head, then heaved a hard sigh. "The doctor said he could have heart problems, any number of neurological issues, he could have issues with his hearing or his vision, if he survives." He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "If," he repeated softly. "His...his lungs aren't fully developed, and his skin is so thin and sensitive that...I couldn't even..." he stopped, his voice cracked a bit. "I couldn't even hold him." He pressed his lips together, and fell into his fathers arms.

"Dickie, I..." Elliot began, but he stopped. There was nothing he could say. He returned his son's hold and he let himself really feel what he was trying to hide. "I'm here," he whispered. It was all he had.

"He's so tiny," Dickie sobbed. "They gave him a fifty-fifty shot, but I can't...if he doesn't...he's my son and I..." His voice broke out completely and he cried harder, holding onto his father.

Elliot could do nothing but hold him as he let it all go, and he looked at Olivia over his son's shoulder, tears welling up in his own eyes, silently asking for help. He couldn't do it alone. He was holding his son, for dear life, but he needed someone to hold him.

Olivia got up, trying to fight back her own tears, and she took Dickie into her arms. She was honestly surprised when he held onto her just as hard as he'd been holding onto Elliot. "What happened?" she mouthed to Elliot, and then she kissed the teen's forehead. "I got you, honey," she whispered to him, supporting him fully when his knees buckled.

Elliot shook the tension out of his back, wiped his eyes, and took both Olivia and Dickie into his arms again. He kissed Olivia, then kissed his son's forehead, then he cried. He closed his eyes and praying for what they truly needed. A miracle.

**A/N: ****Short, ****but ****for ****a ****reason. ****Next ****chapter ****is ****loooong. **


	33. Inspiration

**A/N: _Inspiration_**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. TStabler© owns this story.**

The waiting room cleared out a little before midnight. The kids left with Kathy, Hannah's parents went home because they couldn't deal with the drama, and the friends that had shown up had curfews.

It was just her, and him, as the sun rose. It was still only the two of them as it began to fall again. The waiting hurt, but the silence was killing them.

"Sit down," Olivia said softly, her tired and red eyes following his weary body back and forth one more time. "Please?"

He dropped his hand, he'd been biting his nails, and he looked at her. There was vagueness in his eyes, and he started pacing again.

"El," she said, getting up and stepping in front of him. She placed both hands on his chest. "Please, stop?"

He closed his eyes and sighed. "My son," he said weakly, "Is in a sterile room right now. He has to use those long rubber gloves to hold his baby. Hannah won't stop crying, I just want this to end, one way or another, Liv, this...this fucking sucks."

"Yeah, I know it does," she told him, looking into his eyes. "I'm right here with you. But pacing back and forth and chewing your hands off isn't gonna make it suck any less, it's not gonna make it any better."

"What am I supposed to do, then, huh?" he almost yelled. "I can't control this! For the first time in my life I...I can't help my kid!"

She narrowed her eyes. "What good are you gonna do if you make yourself so upset and so sick that you end up in the hospital, too?" she questions. "You need to be the strong one, here, because your son and your...grandson...need you." She shakes her head at him. "What happened to the faith you keep saying you have?"

"It's gone," he spat, turning away from her and plopping into a nearby seat.

"I don't believe that," she said, sitting next to him. She took his hand, and she took a breath. "I think you need it now more than ever."

He scoffed. "The queen of the atheists is lecturing me on faith?"

"No," she said, her voice dark, almost angry. She hated his stubbornness more often than not. "Your wife is telling you that she needs to hear you say what you always say." She bit her lip. "Whenever we had a hard case, one that really got to me, you spouted some nonsense about God, and angels, and how having faith would give me the strength I needed to get through it."

"You never believed a word I said," he huffed, still not meeting her eyes.

"Maybe I didn't," she said, "But the fact that you said it with such conviction, such certainty...you made me try to believe it because you believed it." She squeezed his hand. "He doesn't give us anything we can't handle. Everything happens for a reason. Through the darkness there is light. To see the rainbow we must weather the storm. Is any of this..."

He finally looked at her, a fire in his eyes that silenced her. "You...you were really listening?"

She rubbed her bump as she looked deeper into his eyes. "When I was in Boston, those words...your voice...just kept ringing through my ears. When I thought I couldn't handle it out there anymore, when I wanted to give up and go home...then when I wanted to forget all about you and New York and stay there...everything you said, it all started making sense to me."

He raised an eyebrow. "So, what, you believe in God now?"

"Hell no," she returned flatly. "But I believe in fate, in angels, in ghosts. You inspire me, Elliot, in everything you say and do. Everything you are. But this guy..." she pressed her lips together and fought the tears away. "The man you are at this moment...that's not the Elliot Stabler I fell in love with. You're allowed to be scared, baby, you're allowed to cry. You're just not allowed to give up."

His eyes, red and dry with the aching need to cry, focused on her lips. He noticed the way her bottom one was wavering slightly, and he saw the corners twitch. "Please," he said in a shaky whisper. "Don't...don't cry. I hate it when you cry."

She bit her lip again and she nodded at him, swallowing back the urge to let the tears fall. She took a deep breath and said, "There's...there's a chapel. Downstairs. If you..."

"Come with me?" he asked, still whispering.

Silently, she stood up. She pulled him to his feet and gazed at him for a moment, then kissed him quickly. She turned and walked with him toward the elevator, hoping that the time alone to think, to pray, would ease his mind and give him some peace.

The moment they stepped into the small, drafty hospital chapel, Elliot broke down. He practically fell into the nearest pew, pulling Olivia with him, and he cried as he held her.

She held him, too, knowing this release was what he needed, letting go of what he'd been holding in for the sake of his son.

He sniffled as he lifted himself off of her, he cleared his throat, wiped his eyes, and he faced the front of the room. He looked around and he visibly relaxed. "Sorry about that," he said to her, taking her hand.

"Don't apologize," she said, cupping his hand in both of hers.

He moved his free hand to her face, gently wiping at her tears. "Thanks," he whispered.

She smiled at him and dropped her head to his shoulder, and she let him lose himself in whatever thoughts and prayers were swimming in his mind. And, though she would never admit, she sent up a prayer or two of her own, for the first time believing they would be answered.

* * *

><p>"Detective Stabler?" a voice called, shaking Elliot out of a sound, yet uncomfortable sleep.<p>

Elliot's head shot up and he looked around for a moment, focusing on the doctor. "Yeah?" he said, standing. He instantly felt the pan rip through his body, every muscle crying as a result of their twisted slumber in the waiting room.

The doctor gave him a look, one he'd seen countless times when a doctor had to deliver bad news to a victim. "We're keeping the baby on a respirator, just until his lungs develop. It's not an easy thing to look it, but he isn't in any pain. In fact, he's most likely sound asleep. So when you go in there, please don't..."

"What?" Elliot interrupted. "Go in?"

The doctor smiled. "I imagine you and your wife would like to meet your grandson."

"Oh!" He spun around to wake Olivia, but she was already at his side. "We get to..."

"I heard," she said, smiling. She nodded at the doctor and gripped Elliot's hand as they followed the man through the wooden doors. Fear, excitement, pride, and a slight sadness filled her heart as she stepped into the room and saw Dickie, his arms through holes in the incubator.

Elliot's breath hitched as he watched his son brushing a gloved finger over the cheek of his own child. "Hey," he whispered.

"He's a fighter, Dad," Dickie said, meeting his father's eyes. He smiled, then looked down at the tiny baby.

Elliot took a step forward. "That's because he's a Stabler," he said. He pulled Olivia with him as he inched closer to the thick, clear, plastic box, and he peered down at the face of his grandson. He didn't see the tube in his too-small mouth, or the wires coming from his impossibly tiny arm. He only saw a beautiful little boy. One that bore his name.

Olivia tilted her head and her upturned eyes fell on the little angel. "He's beautiful," she whispered.

"He doesn't have blue eyes," Hannah said meekly. "His eyes are green. He opened them...for a little while...last night. I swear he..." she choked back a sob. "He smiled at me."

Dickie pulled his arms out of the sterile sleeves and wrapped them around her as she lied in the bed. "He did," he assured her. "He smiled at his mommy, baby."

"Oh, my God," Olivia gasped, a hand covering her mouth lightly.

"What?" Elliot asked, worried. "What is it?"

She shook her head and her hand fell from her lips to her heart. "He is just like you."

He laughs. For the first time in days, he laughs, and he kisses her forehead. "Guess I did something right."

She turned to him. "You did everything right," she whispered to him. She moved toward him slowly, her lips landing against his.

He wrapped his arms around her, sighing into her partly open mouth, relieved to be in the one place he always felt safe. He reveled in the warmth of her kiss, then pulled away from her. "Come on," he said, getting her to move with him.

She pushed one arm into the long yellow glove on the side of the incubator, and it reminded her of a case she and Elliot worked years ago. She looked at him, saw him smiling as he brushed the baby's tiny cheek with his protected finger the way Dickie had. "I love you," she whispered, too soft for him to hear.

He looked up at her, then, and he winked at her. He heard her. "I love you, too," he whispered, dropping his head to hers as they each placed a finger into one of the baby's fragile hands.

"Detective," the doctor called into the room, "I don't mean to interrupt, but...a word?"

Elliot glanced at his son, who was still lost in comforting Hannah, then at Olivia. He pulled his arm out of the sleeve, then moved toward the door, toward the doctor. "Is something wrong?"

"No," the doctor affirmed. "Not...not wrong, just puzzling. When the baby was delivered, we took some precautions and took a pint of blood from the father, in case..."

"I'm a father," Elliot interrupted. "I know why." He folded his arms. "Is something wrong with my son?"

The doctor sighed. "Detective Stabler, I'm sorry to say this, but there is no way that baby is in any way related to your son."

Elliot felt his heart speed up. "No, no, that...they had a paternity..."

"Then someone lied to him," the doctor interrupted. "I assure you, there is not a single genetic link between your son and that child."

Elliot eyed the doctor for a moment, trying to take in the words he'd just heard. "Jesus Christ," he muttered, a hand pulling down his face. He looked back toward the door to the room, unsure if he could handle breaking his son's heart again. "I can't..." he said, deciding. "I can't tell him."

"You don't have to," the doctor said with certainty. "He'll find out when he has to sign the chart." He walked away, leaving Elliot with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Taking a deep breath, he turned on his heels and walked back into the room, and he wrapped his arms around Olivia. He kissed the back of her head, his hands ran down her sides and splayed over her ever-growing belly.

"Oh, this is nice," she chuckled, leaning back into him.

"Yeah," he whispered, holding onto the last peaceful moment he would have for what he imagined would be a very long time.

**A/N: A moment of tension, a moment of realization, and a night of Elliot fighting for what he wants, next. (2 chapters left!) **


	34. Connection

**A/N: _Connection_**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

"I'm sorry," Elliot whispered, his head low, his thumbnail bit between his teeth.

Dickie shook his head. "How would you feel if you found out one of us didn't really belong to you?" he asked softly. A tear fell from his right eye. "You don't know how much I really loved him." He blinked. "How much I loved her."

"Kid," Elliot said, huffing, "The second I found out your mother was pregnant…every single time…I loved each of you more than anything, I would kill and die for you, and I would have right then. I know."

Dickie sniffled. "She lied to me," he said with narrow eyes. "Why the hell did she lie to me?"

Olivia rested a hand on his shoulder. "Because she saw in you what your mother saw in father," she said. "Someone who wouldn't run away. Someone she could trust, depend on…"

"Blame?" Dickie added, harsh and angry. "She saw someone gullible enough to believe her."

"She saw someone who loved her enough to take the responsibility and take care of her," Olivia said, squeezing where her hand lay. "Did you ask her if she…"

Dickie cut her off. "She told me she was at a party, she was drunk, she…" he stopped and shook his head. "She said she really believed he was mine until the test, and she thought I would never have proof he wasn't mine if she lied to me."

"So what are you gonna do?" Elliot asked, dropping his arms to his sides.

"You tell me," Dickie said, turning to look at his father. "Tell me what to do, Dad."

"I can't," Elliot told him. "You have to decide that, bud. You have to do what your heart is telling you to do. You have to think about what is best for you in the long run, what you really want, what you think is right." He scratched his chin and said, "But just ask yourself if you can raise another man's child, and really think about your future."

"Damn it, Dad!" Dickie yelled. "Please, just give me the answer here! I don't want to be the one that makes this choice! If you just tell me…"

"Hey," Olivia interrupted, holding him at arm's length and looking into his eyes, "Calm down. Sweetie, your father is right. You're the only one that can make this decision, honey."

Dickie shook his head. "I can't," he said, wiping his eyes. "I can't give him up, but I can't raise him knowing he isn't mine. Looking at him now, it…it feels like someone ripped my heart. It hurts."

Elliot looked at Olivia, a question in his eyes, and he turned away from her before he voiced the awful thought.

Olivia kissed Dickie's cheek and wiped his eyes. "We'll be right back, okay?"

Dickie nodded, then said, "As soon as I get an update on how he's doing, I…I wanna go home."

"Okay," Olivia said with a nod, then walked toward Elliot. She lowered her voice and folded her arms. "This baby is yours, in case that was the horrifying thought that just crossed your mind, back there."

"What?" he spat. "No, Liv! I never…I never once thought she wasn't." He reached out and ran his fingers through her hair and sighed. "I was so quick to believe Kathy," he said to her. "I never doubted her for a second."

"Maureen's yours, El," she said, her eyes closing. "She is way too much like you to doubt that."

He nodded and kissed her forehead. "This could have happened to me, though," he told her. "I don't know if I would have been able to make that choice, either. I can't imagine being told someone you love so much…"

"El," Olivia whispered, taking his hand, "Please, don't. I need you to stay as focused as possible, right now."

He smiled at her and nodded. "I am focused," he assured her. "On you. On our daughter. And on how hungry I am since I haven't eaten in two days."

She laughed at him, kissed his lips softly, and said, "Let's get Dickie, go home, and eat, then."

"Sounds like a plan, baby," he said, and he walked with her back toward the hallway where they'd left Dickie.

* * *

><p>"Dad?" Dickie whispered into the dark, quiet bedroom his father and Olivia share. "Dad!"<p>

"Huh?" Elliot gasped with a start, sitting up. He saw Dickie in the doorway, silhouetted in the light from the hallway. "What happened?"

Dickie tiptoed into the room and sat on the edge of his parents' bed. "I thought about it." He took a deep breath. "I can't stay with her. Not now. And I can't raise him. Not completely."

Elliot ran a hand down his face and stifled a yawn. "That's understand…"

"But I told her I want to be there, for her and him," Dickie said, interrupting. "I want to be in his life. I can be…Uncle Rick, or something. I just…I don't wanna lose my connection to him." He shrugged. "I told her…to let him keep the name. Is that wrong?"

Elliot smiled. "No, kid," he said. "That's what your heart told you to do. So how can that be wrong?"

Dickie nodded, then glanced at Olivia, sound asleep and holding tight to a large, C-shaped pillow. "What did you do when you found out Liv was pregnant?"

Elliot smiled, a bigger smile than Dickie had seen in days. "Man, I was…beyond thrilled. I knew she wanted kids, she has for years, and I…part of me always wanted to be the one that…"

"Skip that part," Dickie said flatly.

Elliot chuckled. "I couldn't wait to watch her grow, to deal with her cravings and mood swings, to feel the baby kick, to…"

"Were you scared?" Dickie asked.

"Petrified," Elliot answered fast. "Why?"

Dickie took another deep breath. "I was just wondering if the fear went away by the time you got the tenth kid."

Elliot laughed and shook his head. "It never goes away. It's always exciting and terrifying. It's the best and worst thing all at once, and your heart never stops thudding against your chest. Being a parent, bud, it…changes you. And every time you have another child, it changes you again. Sometimes, you think you got it down to a science, but all the experience in the world doesn't make anything easier. It only makes you very aware of how wrong you did it all the last time."

"What are you gonna name her?" Dickie asked, looking at Olivia for a moment before turning back to his father.

Elliot tilted his head, then sent a long lingering glance toward his wife. "We narrowed it down to Hailey or Hayden."

Dickie smiled. "Nice," he said. Then he sighed and stood up. "Thanks, Dad."

Elliot squinted. "For what?"

Dickie bent over, hugged his father tight, and said, "For everything."

"I'm your father," Elliot said, his eyes closed as he embraced his son. "I will always be here, whenever you need me. Always."

"I know, Dad," Dickie said, smiling. "Goodnight." He turned and walked toward the door and he said, "Goodnight, Liv."

Elliot turned, surprised.

Olivia smiled and mumbled, "Goodnight, sweetie."

Dickie left the room, grinning.

"He knew you were awake," Elliot said.

Olivia scooted closer to Elliot and buried her head in his chest, and she muttered, "Like father, like son."

**A/N: Final chapter, next. **


	35. Perfection

**A/N: **_**Perfection**_

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and its characters. TStabler© owns the narrative, dialogue and plot of this story**

Elliot sat beside the bed for hours, staring at Olivia, at the baby in her arms. When it was time to say goodnight to their new little girl, they both cried, held her as long as they could, and waved as the nurse carried her out of the room for the evening.

Olivia fell asleep not too long after, having had a rough night herself, but he wasn't tired. He was more awake than ever. His mind was racing, his thoughts and stomach both churning. He shifted in the stiff chair, squeezed her hand, and looked down at her angelic face.

What she went through for him tonight meant more to him than anything. She had taken bullets for him, she had killed for him, but tonight, she brought his child into the world. She gave him a new little legacy.

Hayden Bernadette Stabler was born at midnight, after a grueling and difficult thirty-two hours. Relentlessly, Olivia fought and pushed and stayed strong to meet her daughter, Elliot held her hand through it all. When the baby's cry finally filled the small delivery room, they both knew it was all worth it.

Elliot helped her count; ten little fingers, ten tiny toes. She looked up at them with the most breathtaking blue eyes and full head of dark curls. He held them both in his arms as long as he could, overwhelmed by everything happening around him.

He had time to take it all in, as he sat in the dark silence, watching his wife sleep. He thought his life was set in stone, until the night he was faced with losing her. He never wanted another child, not until he made it his life's goal to make her a mother. He struggled with how complicated his life had always been, how complex and confusing his relationship with Olivia was from day one.

He held his breath when he felt her move. He watched her as she rolled a bit in the bed, moaned slightly, and the smile on her face widened.

He bent over and brushed his lips over hers softly, a smile of his own across his mouth. He mentally listed the definitions they'd carried for years: partners, friends, colleagues, lovers, husband and wife, and now parents, and he realized that each one still mattered. Each one still pertained to them, and always would.

Their relationship was always going to be complicated, they would always battle for control and try to outsmart each other, they would always have a thin string of tension between them that would only dissipate after a rough night in bed. It was who they were, who they are, and who they always would be. Always.

He realized, as he gazed at her sleeping form, that being complicated wasn't bad. For them, it was perfection.

"What time is it?" she whispered, her voice scratchy and her eyes still closed.

"Time for you to go back to sleep," he whispered back to her. "You must be…"

"Exhausted," she finished. "Yeah. I'm also wide awake because my husband is staring at me like I'm gonna burst into flames any minute now." Her eyes opened, she smiled at him. "Why aren't you sleeping, Daddy?"

He smirked, inched closer to her, and whispered, "Because it's my job to watch over you. I can't do that if I'm sleeping."

She took a deep breath and snuggled deeper into her pillow, squeezing his hand in hers. "Try it again without the heroics."

He sighed and closed his eyes. "I can't stop thinking…about you. Me. Us. The baby."

"If you close your eyes, you know, you can still think," she told him through a yawn. "It's called dreaming."

"Wise ass," he laughed. He kissed her cheek and said, "I just…how the hell did this happen?" He shook his head and shrugged. "One minute, I've got you up against the wall of the cribs, fucking you like my life depends on it…the next, I'm coaching you through the birth of our child. It just happened so fast, Liv. And to be honest, I never thought it would. Not till you came home and…"

"Made things complicated," she mumbled, her eyes closing again.

"No," he whispered. "You made everything so simple." He rose from his chair, still holding her hand, and he worked his way into her bed. "You made every choice so easy to make, you made me think so clearly, and…I will never be able to thank you for that."

She rolled into him, wrapped one arm around him as best she could, and she said, "You already have. She's in the nursery, sound asleep."

He laughed as his eyes closed, and he felt himself drifting off. "Love you," he muttered.

She could do no more than hum in agreement. She was asleep. Thinking. Dreaming.

Dickie, from the doorway, smiled at the sight before him, and he turned to look at the woman standing over his shoulder. "See that?" he asked.

Hannah nodded. "That's love," she said, rocking the four month old boy in her arms.

"That's what we have to work on," he said, walking toward her. "We can have that, eventually, right?"

Hannah blinked. "I thought you said you…"

"If I have learned anything from my stepmother," he interrupted, "It's that blood doesn't make a family. She loves me like her own son, she always has." He rolled his neck a bit. "Besides, my name is on his birth certificate. Legally, I am his father. And, God willing, he will never have to know it's not the truth."

"You're serious?" she asked, holding the baby out to him.

Dickie took the boy and smiled down at his sleeping face. "It's not that hard, Hannah. It doesn't have to be." He looked up at her. "We could be like my parents. We could be happy."

Hannah nodded, tears in her eyes, and she dropped her forehead to his.

"It's okay," Dickie whispered as his eyes traveled from the tiny boy's face to the bed again, he knew he was being watched. He smiled and nodded at his father.

Watching and hearing his son made his heart stop. Seeing him with the baby made him smile and he suddenly missed his own newborn. He kissed Olivia, still sleeping, and eased out of the bed. He walked, straight and quick, past his son and down the hall. He picked up his pace, breezing by doctors and nurses, and he stopped at the end of the hallway in front of the glass. He was panting as the gasps turned to laughter. "There you are," he breathed.

One palm pressed up against the window, the other landed on his heart, and he spotted his daughter immediately. "Liv," he whispered, looking at her. She was the spitting image of her mother, with her father's eyes. A tear rolled down his cheek and he sniffled.

His life ended and began again as he watched her little eyelids flutter. When they opened, and she looked right at him, he gasped and grinned. He grabbed the attention of a nurse and asked to hold her, to bring her back into the room where his wife lay sleeping.

He walked back through the door with the pink bundle in his arms, and he sat next to Olivia in the bed. He kissed his daughter's forehead, and then his wife's, and he knew. After years of battling and struggling, years of living in a world of complication, he finally found simple perfection.

**A/N: **_**Completion**_


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